Friday, July 31, 2015

In Which Superman Steals Pearls from an Unfortunate-Looking Woman

My lovelies, it's good to be back!  I know it seems like I wasn't gone, but that's because I had my posts finished a week in advance.  I had a health situation that landed me in the hospital for a couple of days and I'm just now starting to get life back to normal.

Enough of that.  Time to check out Superman #11, which had the first appearance of x-ray vision!

I have been told that the original text may have read "x-ray eyesight."  This panel is from The Superman Archives, so maybe it was changed?  It wouldn't be the first time stuff was altered to fit modern lore, although I kinda wish they wouldn't do that.  When I read a reprint, I want the original experience.

Mind you, they changed the name of "x-ray eyesight" in the reprint but didn't touch this goober:

To be fair, I'm sure snakes are far easier to draw than scorpions.

And now, The Adventures of Superman, Kleptomaniac:

This has been The Adventures of Superman, Kleptomaniac!

Check out this ad for All-Flash Quarterly:

"A Fit Companion to Superman and Batman."

So, are we still talking about the comic?  I mean, the Flash was certainly a fit guy, what with all the running and such.  It sounds like Jay was their butler who did a lot of calisthenics.

See you tomorrow!

Thursday, July 30, 2015

In Which We Finally Have Full Frontal Nudity at CMNS

I simply can't wait to share with you the most unfortunate coloring decision in the history of comics, courtesy of Hit Comics #5!




Yeah, that was incredible.  Meanwhile, here's a Saga in Three Panels (tm!) I like to call, "A Typical Day in Juvenile Court."  Thusly:


That came at the tail end of a regular feature in Hit Comics called "Betty Bates: Lady at Law."

No, that's not a joke.  She was a... I don't know, my initial instinct is to call her an attorney, but maybe her official title was "Lady at Law."

She was a lady at law.  I guess.

And I have no DNA proof, however:

It appears she was the love child of Bullseye and the Black Widow.

She was also prone to bringing loaded firearms to court...

... and handing them to defendants.

"Surely," you might think, "she took the bullets out of the gun before she handed them to the suspected murderer on the witness stand."


I'm not sure what the rules of criminal procedure are in whatever state in which she practices, but I'm pretty sure that guy's defense counsel should have been shouting "OBJECTION" at some point.  Not to armchair quarterback anyone, but... you know...

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Superman vs. Metropolis Water & Sewer

Before we get into Superman, check out another installment of Thanks for Clearing That Up (tm!), courtesy of Robert Gillis!

Yes, Cap.  You have indeed been trapped by giant rats.  But thank goodness you explained it because we never would have figured it out for ourselves.  Thanks for Clearing That Up. (tm!)

Meanwhile, let's check out the 10th issue of Superman:

You know, if you can't properly maintain your aircraft or properly pack a parachute, maybe aviation isn't your thing.  There's not shame in recognizing that something just isn't your thing.

Hey!  It's time for a CMNS Saga in Three Panels! (tm!)

This has been a CMNS Saga in Three Panels! (tm!)

I guess Superman is dang serious about hygiene.

And there's always room for a quick

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

And then I saw this:

For you non-comic nerdlingers, the coloring is almost completely messed up on every character except Superman and Batman.  I guess Starman (who is not "Star Man") is close, but take it from me... it looks like someone colored this who had never seen the characters in his life and said, "this looks good."

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

In Which We Learn the Value of Registering Trademarks via Guys Who Call Themselves "The Eel"

It's very confusing for me to navigate Lightning Comics, but according to , this is V2, #6... just in case you found this post so awesome that you had to have a copy of the original.

Yup!  It's the Eel!  The origin was simply that he was born with his ability to breathe (and apparently speak) underwater.  He also was very flexible and super-strong.  He also had the innate ability to construct a lightning pistol.  I'm not sure why that was.  But comics were only ten cents, so....

I'm not sure this is the worst nemesis for Flash Lightning.  I mean, if the Eel's offense is a lightning gun, well...  it's going to be an easy day at the office for Flash Lightning, if you know what I mean.

That's about the long and short of things.  The eel can't really do much other than evade, so it's not really spine-tingling entertainment.

Hmmmm... I don't know that "invincible" isn't overselling things a bit.  Thusly:

But then this happened:

And it actually worked.  Flash said it dang near killed him.  And this this happened:

So, two guys with electric powers have a hard time dealing with guys who have electric powers?  COMICS, my friends!

Well, that's expository.  And rather unnecessary.

But check out who the bad guy was in the very next story:

Yes, in the very next story of that very same issue, the Raven fought a completely unrelated villain called "the Eel."  I'm starting to think the folks at Lightning Comics should have held staff meetings.

Oh, well.  Random Slap! (tm!)

See you tomorrow!

Monday, July 27, 2015

In Which Superman Fights an Alligator. You're Welcome.

Hey!  It's time to see Superman fight an alligator, courtesy of Superman #9!

Yeah, it's basically the same three moves Superman does every time he has to fight some sort of beast, but... Superman fighting an alligator, right?

Check it out:

It'll still be few issues before we are officially introduced to Jimmy Olsen in the comics (he actually first appears in the Superman radio program), but I'm thinking this is the first true sighting of Jimmy.  Many folks think this was Jimmy's first appearance, but unless Jimmy bleached his hair the first time, I'm thinking this is the one.

Random Slap! (tm!)

Even though Clark has to be rolling with it, I'm surprised that guy doesn't have a broken hand.

Here's more reasons not to mess with Metropolis PD:

To review: Officers don't know who is in the car or what the occupants may or may not be guilty of, but the choose to open fire on said vehicle.  For all they knew, the guy had a suspended driver's license.  But that's Metropolis PD, and you don't cross Metropolis PD.

I'm thinking brown was the color for suits back in the day.

We laugh about the disguising power of eyeglasses when it comes to Clark / Superman, but I guess in comics a pair of glasses is practically Spider-Man's mask.

So.... here's something I never thought was a thing:

Really?  I mean, I know they didn't have your cable tv and video games and whatnot, but...


Tennis and badminton rackets were so prevalent in 1940's society that you could make money re-stringing them?  I admit that's a market I would have missed out on.

See you tomorrow!

Friday, July 24, 2015

In Which We Bid Farewell to Bulletman Comics

The Bulletman comic came to an end after a rather paltry 16 issues.  But before we say goodbye, let us take one last look at tough-talkin' Bulletgirl:

A great morale officer, she also proved herself time and time again in battle:

Oh, Bulletgirl... you were truly a role model for girls of the 1940's.  We shan't forget ye.

Well, we shall... but thanks for the memories.

Let us console ourselves as we leave Bulletman in the chamber.  Let us partake in some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

Heh.  Awesome.

See you Monday!