Friday, April 8, 2011


Guys, thanks for the kindness in your comments.  I hope to hear from all of you.

I couldn't resist sharing a happy moment.  Remember this guy?

It appears the shelter kept him.  Click here to adopt the most awesome dog in the world.  I hope he gets a wonderful home, because he deserves it.

But this happy ending is rare.  Please keep the pet population down, and microchip your beloved pets.

All the best,


... and So Long, Bob Haney... Wherever You Are. Friday!

Sorry, Dear Ones, for the abrupt end of Comics Make No Sense.  I truly tried to give scads of advance notice, but because of many technical factors, I'm afraid this is going to be the last post.

But we're not saying "goodbye" forever.  We're just saying "so long, for now."  If you'll go to and bookmark this happy place, you'll be able to keep up with writing projects and such from me.  There's some life in me yet, and I've stories of my own to tell, so check in every so often.

We're wrapping it up, Seinfeld-style, with more visits than ever, and who'da thunk?  For a silly little lark, this page easily was topping 75,000 hits annually.  That ain't half bad for a blog with a rather limited concept.  It's not easy to say "so long" to my most successful creative endeavor, but perhaps it's best that I'm forced to retire it before it turns into those last few seasons of M*A*S*H.  Seriously, no one wants that.  If you see BJ with the mustache in the opening credits, watch something else.

And I can thank CMNS for introducing me to my partner-in-crime Gabe Ostley, with whom I hope to slap together many, many funnybooks that you're gonna love.  I'm also going to write an actual book or two.  All of that will be found right here.  Seriously, you might as well bookmark it because I'm going to link to it at least one more time.

So, I'd like to thank contributors sPat and Robert Gillis for bailing me out when I was running low on source material.  And, of course, my Beloved deserves a special pat on the head for encouraging my funnybooking and blogging.  I also want to thank Mike Sterling for the readership boost when I was first starting the blog.  And, of course, a big thanks to everyone who kept checking in every day to see what silliness I had found.  You made it a very rewarding project, and I can't thank you enough.

And, I'd like to thank this issue of Shazam!:

for introducing me to a hobby that has given me a lot of joy and delight for almost four decades now.  This was the first comic book I ever read, and it's awesome.  Cap has to save the town from getting engulfed in cherry gelatin and Sivana invents a machine that fast-forwards everyone through Christmas.  With a first impression like that, how could I not become a lifelong fanboy?

I guess that's it.  I don't have anything dramatic, other than my adoration for everyone, even you lurkers who never posted a comment.  So, here's the finale from Six Feet Under:

One last time: Spay and neuter your pets and support your local Animal Shelter!

See you over at Chilly Villain Studios!  Would the last person to leave please turn out the light?

With gratitude,

Adam Barnett

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I Cook You Fine Meals and Show You Sights of Pampas Wednesday!

The original Vigilante actually had quite a run back in the 40's.  He never really got my attention, what with all his  country-fried dialect and such.  I mean, I grew up in Oklahoma, and I rarely heard people talk like he does.  I also met some foreign exchange students in college who were sure Oklahoma was one big Native American reservation.  And they weren't totally wrong, because the Tribes have nations and casinos all over the place, but that didn't mean we were all living in tee-pees.  I also thought he was rather dry, with no real powers or gadgets to get my attention.

But he got interesting letters.  I never would have appreciated that as a child:

I'll take "Invitations One Should Never Accept" for $200, Alex!

Seriously, how did he not think that was a love letter?  I would be afraid Pedro would swipe my passport and make me "earn" it back, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do.

Hey, you know what creeped me out?  This:

Well, it certainly grabs your attention, doesn't it?  I wasn't familiar with Kolynos, as it hasn't been easily found in the U.S. for years.  But apparently, my Latin American readers should be able to pick up a tube.  A little research tells me that it's very pleasant tasting and not only cleans your teeth, but gives 'em a polish as well.  Granted, I'd be a little put off by the glaring "Injun" vomiting the toothpaste onto my brush, but he certainly has every right to be a little cheesed.  

And it was mentioned  in The Catcher in the Rye, so there's a certain awesomeness in that:

"Everybody was asleep or out or home for the week end, and it was very, very quiet and depressing in the corridor. There was this empty box of Kolynos toothpaste outside Leahy and Hoffman's door, and while I walked down towards the stairs, I kept giving it a boot with this sheep-lined slipper I had on."

So, incredibly racist marketing device aside, Kolynos has a rather interesting history.  See?  That's some smartifyin' stuff right there.  That's two days running I've been all edutainmental on you.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

On Quiz Shows, Vulcans, and Plastic Guns that Hold Your Pencils Wednesday!

Well, here's a little something I didn't know until today.  I'm familiar with the quiz show, Truth or Consequences, insofar as I am aware there was a quiz show called Truth or Consequences.  But I didn't realize how wacky it was:

Wouldn't you watch the heck out of a show like that?  I'm surprised it went over on the radio, since actually seeing these things take place was probably a lot more fun.  And, FYI, while the show debuted on NBC Radio in 1940, it would be on television 10 years later.  And it would be the first daily game show that succeeded in syndication (as in, it did well after it left the network for twelve years).  There was an attempt to revive the show in 1987 that completely slipped past me.  It also marked the debut of Bob Barker in 1956, who would later go on to host The Price is Right and get into fistfights with Adam Sandler on Happy Gilmore.  

And even more awesome is that the town of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, actually named itself after the show!  Yup.  For the tv show's tenth anniversary in 1950, Ralph Edwards there dared a town to name itself "Truth or Consequences," and Hot Springs, New Mexico, took the dare!  Nifty stuff!

See?  We learnt ourselves something today.  Don't let people tell you this site is a total waste of time!

And in the spirit of that, check out Lois Lane's hat!:

Lois, that is quite the large purple chapeau you're working there.  And you look a lot like a Vulcan.

Here's Kirstie Alley as a Vulcan:


She made it work.  I always like Kirstie Alley.

Oh, and here's some social programming for you, circa 1948:

Girls carry purses, boys carry guns.  That's how we roll.

And I'm not judging here.  I don't know about you gals, but I would have been all over a pencil box shaped like a firearm.  All. Over. It. 

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

You MUST Award Me Every Doctor's Degree You Have, Because I'm Superman! Tuesday!

So, here's a little something I found in Lois Lane Annual #1.  Again, I'm sure it's a reprint, but I have not idea at this point where the story came from.

But we all know how it began.....

Yup!  Yet another head injury!  That woman should just wear a helmet all the time.  And I mean all the time.  In the shower, at the office, reading the newspaper.... this woman needs to have her skull protected constantly.  Law of Averages be danged, this woman is clearly going to have her bell rung if there's any bell-ringing to be done, so she should always be prepared.

Anyway, Lois dreams that Superman gives her a blood transfusion.  I presume that she has some kind of blood fetish where this is the ultimate intimacy or something.

Well, of course giving someone your blood would give them the ability to do anything you can do.  That's how DNA works.  Anyone who knows the origin of the She-Hulk (which is exactly the same thing) knows that.

Although the She-Hulk's origin makes some weird kind of sense, since she was given irradiated blood.  It seems like Lois would suffer a severe hemolytic reaction here.  Good thing it's only a dream.  What happens to Lois in her real life is much more rational.

So, what does Lois do?  You know the answer!  She does what anyone who finds themselves with a freaky ability does:

Her secret role as Power Girl!  Isn't it fun to find an earlier occurrence of a modern character's name?  And it didn't stop there...

Yup!  Clark becomes Power-Man, which we all know is the super-hero name Luke Cage used before he remembered that (a) Luke Cage is an alias in and of itself (he was born Carl Lucas) and (b) Luke Cage is a much more badass name than Power Man.

And anyway, Lois dreams a bunch of stuff and then wakes up, so that story was a big waste of time.  But in the next story, she has her legs crushed.  So naturally, she became a mermaid:

That was actually a fairly common medical practice before plastic prosthetic devices became more popular in the latter quarter of the 20th Century.  You don't see many mermaid descendants because no one could really figure out how to mate with one.

Hey!  Did you know that Superman can perform surgeries?  Of course he can!

So, let's get this straight: Instead of wearing a flashy costume and beating up losers like the Prankster and the Toyman, Superman could have spent the last 60 years or so performing life-saving operations?  Is there anyone left who wonders why I don't like Superham?  I didn't think so.

So, if Superman operates on you, your own powers of recuperation take on superhuman proportions?  Because it seems to me like Lois should be in for a good six months of physical therapy, minimum.  And frankly, Superham had to restore more than just Lois's legs and lungs, if you see where I'm going with this.... and I think you do.  

Boy, those Lois Lane comics were pretty messed up, if you think about it.

See you tomorrow!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Irresponsible People SUCK Monday!

Okay, everyone, I'm a little annoyed, so I'm going to go on my soapbox for a moment:

See this guy?:

I found him playing in traffic on the street in front of where I work.  He had a collar that was on way too tight, but no tag.  He also hadn't been micro-chipped.  So, I had no way of getting him back to his owners.

LESSON NUMBER ONE: If you fail to tag or microchip your dog, your dog will not be returned to you, genius!  Your dog cannot tell me where he lives.  A microchip is only about thirty bucks, and if this dog had been given one, I would have taken him home instead of to the animal shelter.

So, because he was starving and in very real danger of getting run over, I took him to the animal shelter.  On the way there, he lay his head in my lap, stopping only to lick my face at a traffic stop.  Once I got there, I was greeted with a sign that said:


So, this awesome dog, who trusted me and spent the twenty-minute drive over to the shelter loving on me and thanking me for being such a great pal, is most likely dead at this point.  When I dropped him off, he clawed at the door and howled at me through the glass, so I get to carry the guilt of that around for... oh, I don't know, the rest of my life.

Why didn't I keep him?  Because I'm already at the legal limit, and the city will prosecute me for animal hoarding if I go beyond it. Sooooo...

LESSON NUMBER TWO: Get your pet spayed or neutered.  Having a littler of puppies or kittens to show your children the miracle of life is teaching them a horrible lesson.  Even if you find homes for them, you are taking a potential home away from an unwanted animal.  As long as there is even ONE animal at a shelter, you have no right to add to the overpopulation problem.  None.  NONE!!!

In short, people, earn your spot at the top of the food chain and show some responsibility.  These animals are suffering and dying (in Tulsa, the report is that upwards of thirty.... yes THIRTY animals a day are being killed).  If you are really an animal lover, love all animals and quit putting people like me through days like that.

Sorry... nothing funny today.  I don't want anything to distract from this message.  Be glad that I didn't show a video I was considering.  We'll get back to it tomorrow.

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Day Job Caught Up with Me Friday!

Sorry, my lovelies, but the day job caught up with me.  I hope to have a new post on Monday.  Meanwhile, here is Cyndi Lauper singing the theme to ElectraWoman and DynaGirl:

And really... what more do you need?

See you Monday!