Friday, May 31, 2013

Got Him! Ugh!

Still perusing Pep Comics #11, I check out the Comet story for this issue and notice for the first time the saturation of primary colors this feature uses.  I kid you not, it's page after page of blue, green and red buildings, joined by bright red streets.  It reminded me of that old Dick Tracy movie that had Warren Beatty back in the 90's.


The Daily Blast?  I hate to blame the victim, but working for a place called The Daily Blast is just asking for trouble.  

Along those lines:

Okay, things you never want to say within earshot of a guard while you're inside a bank vault?  Anything that could be mistaken as a reference to an explosive device.

Hey!  Let's check in on (T)(t)he Press Guardian!

Yeah, nothing but good things come when a government requires a certain demographic to register.  Nothing. But. Good. Things.

Actually, I was more noticing that he had a bad habit of wearing the same suit in both his civilian and his secret identities.  I've mentioned this several times, but his disguise continues to be only slightly more effective than that of the Phantom Lady.  Green suit, yellow shirt, red tie... that's a rather loud fashion statement to make for someone who doesn't want to call attention to himself.

Then again, it does save us awkward moments like I saw back in the Comet story:

So, if you were ever wondering why heroes tended to wear their costumes under their clothes, wonder no more.

See you Monday!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

And so Emerges, DUSTY, the Spectacular Boy Detective!

Taking a look at Pep Comics #11, where the Shield jumps on the "kid sidekick" bandwagon with...

Yes, the Spectacular Boy Detective.  Take that, Robin!

And the bad guy there was called the Vulture, for you comic historians out there.

They try to give him an origin, but (as a surprise to no one who has ever read a comic book in their lives) it involves a child conveniently becoming an orphan:


Yup, Dusty's father was on that ship, so that removes any pesky parental units trying to keep the hero of this tale from throwing their child into the path of full grown adults discharging firearms.

But get this:

Okay, and then:

"Whee"?  I mean, I understand that he's kind of lost in the moment and "forgetting his own grief," but he had lost his only parent not ten minutes earlier.  Not that most kids these days wouldn't be back in the emotional saddle after a trip to Chuck E. Cheese, but I presumed there was more attachment between kid and parent back then.

Oh, well.  It's not like he was my kid.

And, Dusty... that young boy... was ME!  

And so, we have Dusty, the (sometimes Spectacular) Boy Detective, recipient of one slapped-together costume if ever there was one:

That seems like a rather one-sided deal, considering you made a point to display his characteristic red hair and you're calling him by his real first name whether he's in costume or not.

And it wouldn't be a "Shield" story if Betty didn't complain, so here ya go:

I notice that Betty is reading Pep Comics herself, so it seems like she should already be in the know about everything.  Maybe she's just looking for coupons.  

And does Joe only have the "room"?  Is Dusty going to be bunking with him?  What are the sleeping arrangements here?  I'm starting to think that an alternative court-ordered placement is looking to be a bit more appropriate for Dusty's welfare.

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Would YOU Be Afraid to Go Out Among the Stars with Me?

From Contributor Robert Gillis, we have some Excessively Impossibly Expository Monologue (tm!), courtesy of Superman Family #167.

Well, don't help her, Jimmy!  Yeesh.  I mean, if you have time to say / think all that, maybe you could just... oh, I don't know... pull her out of harm's way?

Here's something worth noting from Captain Video #6:

The moral here is, if Captain Video tells you to duck, then the rest of it is on you.  The fact that you're clearly distracted and have your back turned is your problem.  He gave you a fair chance and all that, but he's going to hit the dirt whether you do or don't.  It's on you once the bullets start flying.

Hmmmm.... it looks like it's fun for some Fun with Out of Context Artwork (tm!), courtesy of Adventures in Space #40:

I don't know what fate has in store for Little Buddy Scott, but I'm almost concerned enough to call Social Services.

See you tomorrow!

Friday, May 24, 2013

Wagering Breakfast Cereal Apparently Used to Be a Common Thing

Wow, guys.... what can I say?  This was just a terrible week.  Work was that bad this week, and I just can't always be as reliable as Tuffy Tilton:

That's true.  But while Tuffy Tilton always pays off, sometimes life just gets the better of me and I can only beat myself up so much...

Okay, that's quite enough.  Now it's getting personal.

Here's a really disturbing joke I saw in All-Flash Quarterly #28:

I strongly suggest you never tell that joke ever.

Here's another thing that caught my eye:

Okay, first: The name of the strip is the worst name ever.  

But more to the point:  Worst. Bet. Ever.

Ah.... it feels good to be back, but Monday is a holiday, so I'll see you Tuesday, Dear Ones!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Egad! A Burglar! And I'm Fresh Out of Scones!

Sorry I missed Friday's post, folks.  Things have been very busy work-wise.  If I can get through this week, I hope to turn a corner and get everything back to normal.

But enough of that.  Did you know that Spy Smasher was a very popular comic book character once upon a time?  "No," you might say, "I don't believe you.  You're a dirty liar!  Why must you lie!??"

But it's true.  Spy Smasher was so popular in Captain Marvel's Whiz Comics that he got his own spin-off book.  And like the good Captain, who is in every way better than Superham, Spy Smasher got some live-action adaptation.  Thusly:

So, I'm taking a look at Spy Smasher #1.  It's public domain, so you can read it for yourself if you like. I don't particularly recommend it, but there you have it.

So, anyway, I'd like to officially announce a new CMNS meme I like to call

...And There It Is. (tm!)

Okay, he's in his own apartment.  Got that?

Egad!  There's an intruder in your apartment!  What do you do?

Why, you engage in proper social graces, of course:

Really?  You're the victim of a home invasion and this is your response?

Oh, I see.  So if it's a hot chick, we overlook that whole "felony" thing.  Probably not too smart, because if she broke into your own home to confront you, she's probably gonna...

...And There It Is. (tm!)

Meanwhile, our hero saves the President of the United States from harm:

At least, we think so.  I mean, it's just the guy's hand.  Anyway, the President poses the inevitable question:

Which once again brings me to the whole lackluster disguise issue.  I suppose his disguise is better than the Phantom Lady's, but seriously.  Look at this:

You can see his entire face.  I mean, that's Golden Age Starman level of ineffective identity concealment.  And unlike Starman, he's got these goggles that might provide some level of disguise, but he's too lazy to pull them down.  It's amazing to me how many Golden Age heroes waltzed around without any face coverage whatsoever.

But you know what Spy Smasher couldn't do?  Fly.


Okay, first.... it's spelled "grammar."  Heal thyself.


Now my head hurts.  

Anyway, I can't promise the frequency of posts this week, folks.  Work is just going to be rough.  Please think good thoughts, and I'll update when I can.

See you soon!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Hey, Kids! Order Yourself a Dangerous Weapon! It'll Be FUN!

And now, courtesy of Phantom Lady #2 (whatever volume it is), I give you 

What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (tm!)

Inside the front cover, your average comic-reading child can order this:

"Packs a Terrific Wallop!"

This has been another installment of What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (tm!)

And, as every man could have guessed, Don was mysteriously poisoned shortly thereafter when Sandra made him "a special dinner."  Sandra sent Mimi his regards, as he did not live to see the weekend.

Well, I'm no driving instructor, but "expert driver" Sandra probably shouldn't be using her left foot in a car with an automatic transmission.

Maybe because he didn't avert his eyes like a gentleman when you attacked him as Phantom Lady?

No one has ever come that close to identifying her?  Then the woman hangs out with absolute cretins, because she has the most nonexistent disguise in comicdom.  Getting attacked by her would be like getting an obscene phone call from Homer Simpson.  There's just not a lot of mystery there.

Ugh.  I'm going to try and order myself a bullwhip.  See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Duck, Ladies! A Man's Coming In!

Sorry about the missed post yesterday.  Let's have some fun courtesy of Pep Comics #10:

Betty did not share JuJu's fondness for Larry Flynt Publications...

Meanwhile, from the CMNS Department of Odd Metaphors! (tm!):

Yeah!  And that will make a fine Bearnaise Sauce for this asparagus spear!

Or something.

Hey!  It's time for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

You know, I just can't help but think he was looking for an excuse.

And now, a CMNS Moment of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

This has been a CMNS Moment of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

Oh, if I only had a nickel for every time I've said that!

See you tomorrow!

Monday, May 13, 2013

A White Feather Means DEATH! (or that a bird nearby is molting)

 So I'm perusing Captain Video #4, and I come upon this little caption describing our hero:


Master of time and space?

I thought it was a little puffery.  Then I noticed the following:

Captain Video can apparently bench press a jeep


Captain Video can talk underwater.  Although he probably shouldn't, if he's letting his enemies know when he's weakening.

But here's the thing that makes me think that the good Captain was all bluster.  Observe:

Okay, so the guy tried to sucker punch him.  Got it?  Read on:

Okay.... so far, so good:

Waitasec... blindfold?

Mind you, Captain Video just agreed to be blindfolded by a guy who just tried to...

... and there it is.


See you tomorrow!