Friday, October 30, 2009

Proboscis Friday!

It's Halloween-ish! Which is just as good of an excuse as any to check out World's Finest #118, on account of it's got some weird creature in it. Then again, "weird creature" was pretty much the raison d'existence for Superman and Batman in the 1960's, but we'll look at it anyway. It's not like we have anything better to do:

Taking this cover literally, I think World's Finest missed a bet here. How positively bitchin' would it have been to have Superman banished from the book in exchange for that thing? I would have bought the heck out of World's Finest if it had monthly team-ups of Batman and that goofy-looking creature! Heck, I still would. Get on it, DC!

And.... you know it's coming! Cue the obligatory charity event!:

And, as usual, that's pretty much all the plot set-up we're getting.

But check out Robin!:

Someone has been paying attention to their "Word of the Day" Calendar!

And since Superman is yanked off the planet (yay!), Batman has to be the designated douche:

It hasn't done any property damage or threatened anyone's safety, but it's eating metal ore! We can't have that! I'll crush its head with a boulder!

Hey! Did you know parents have rights, too? Turns out they do!:

I'm prepared to guess that Big Brother Bob has had his head dunked into many a toilet while he attended public school. Just a speculation on my part.

See you Monday!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Boy Stuck in the Crevice Thursday!

One thing I've noticed over the past several issues of World's Finest is the recurring plotline of giving everyone in sight powers to rival Superman. Going back through all the issues and showcasing every occasion where Batman and/or Robin suddenly started flying and lifting boulders over their heads would take more time and bandwidth than I'm willing to devote to the subject, so just take my word for it, won't you?

So, this issue they really went crazy and gave Batwoman the super-powers. But the reason I had to post this cover is because of Robin over there on the left:

Is it just me, or did he get himself wedged in the crevice? I'm pretty sure he did. That would be hilarious.

I cut Green Arrow a lot of slack where the gadgetry is concerned, mostly because I grew up with a Green Arrow who fired boxing gloves at bad guys and that's what I'm used to.

But this, my friend, is shenanigans:

There is no way you can get handcuffs to do that. You just can't. Don't believe me? Get a set of handcuffs and throw it at someone as hard as you can. See if they obligingly click themselves onto a person's wrists.

On second thought, don't actually do that. You'll probably be wearing handcuffs yourself if you do. Just take my word for that, too.

And enjoy some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!):

Whenever you see terms like "beat off," you just know you're in for some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!) and this was no exception. Good stuff.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hot Dogs and Monkeys Wednesday!

From World's Finest #116:

I don't care how reformed the guy says he is, Bruce; Whatever he brings out of that kitchen, I wouldn't eat it.

You know what always makes for a good time? Monkeys.

Especially monkeys that use projectile weaponry. You can't possibly get tired of seeing that.

Hey! It's a weird thing!:

Now, in 1960, what the heck kind of photo am I going to have with an image so small that I can shove it onto a ring?

Say, Adam, what's that on your ring?

Why, it's a photo of my woman!

Um.... it looks like an eyebrow.

That's all I could fit on the ring.

Good times.... good times.

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Same Soup, Only Reheated Tuesday!

Remember yesterday's post, wherein I talked about issue #114 of World's Finest and pointed out yet another charity event attended by Superman and Batman?

Issue #115:

Yup. This story begins with a charity event, same as last one. But it doesn't end there.

Remember when we were awestruck by the giant accordion?

Again, Issue #115:

How many giant accordions did they have stashed around in 1960, anyway?

The same basic story retold, without any breather of originality in between. It's like watching two back-to-back episodes of Home Improvement.

But then along comes Tommy Tomorrow, who obligingly says this:

Guys, never say anything about comparing your small gun to a big gun in the presence of a woman. Better yet, never say it at all.

See you tomorrow!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Don't Like White Collar or U2 but I Like Gum and Rays Monday!

Did anyone but me watch the premiere of White Collar on USA Network Friday night? Both Beloved and I literally fell asleep about 2/3 of the way through. Nice idea, dull execution. No wonder they buried it on Friday night.

You know what's always worth watching? World's Finest #114:

That's right: Superman and Batman are doing yet another charity event. So, I think we all agree that Bono can suck it.

Oh, no! It's an Anthkar!

Not an Anthkar! Anything but an Anthkar!

Is that its tongue, or is it chewing a really long stick of gum? If it's the latter, this is my favorite monster ever.

You know what you should watch out for if you're ever in a comic book story? Rays.:

Rays were a great thing in comics back in the day. You never had to explain why or how they worked. If you saw a ray coming at you.... well, you'd better haul it out of the way, because rays could do anything. I think I'll start keeping track of "ray usage" I find in comics. Or should I say, "Ray Usage (tm!)?" There's a little something extra you can start looking forward to. We just keep getting better and better here at CMNS, don't we?

See you tomorrow!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Gleek Me Friday!

Of course, we all remember this triumph of animation:

But I've subjected it upon you more to prep you for an interesting bit of comic trivia. It turns out the obnoxious monkey from the awful Super Friends series was not the first alien creature of that name in the DC Universe. Nope. Check out the following from World's Finest #112:

I'm not sure where or how Gleek "attached" himself to Superman that he didn't notice that large creature dangling from him. I'm sincerely hoping Gleek simply clung to his cape, because any other explanation is going to cause me some concern.

Bonus! Another Gotham Museum with oversized accordions that actually play!:

You've got to love Gotham. They can't build a secure mental asylum to save their lives, but they certainly support the arts.

Anyway, Gleek was kind of funny because he mimicked everything Superman did:

Normally, everything Superman does is quite boring, but it's inexplicably entertaining when it's done by a green furry creature. Perhaps they were on to something.

But since this was mildly entertaining, DC couldn't tolerate it, so they bumped Gleek off:

Now, before you feel too sorry for Gleek, let's go a panel or two earlier to see how he croaked:

I need to advise you that Gleek was able to fly, rip steel beams, and become a huge monster whenever he got angry. Rather than absorb all the radiation, he simply could have carried Superman to safety.

Ergo, Gleek was fatally stupid. As far as pets go, he was less like Lassie and more like Dino from The Flintstones.

See you Monday!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Shabby Crowded Barracks Thursday!

I don't know if people in the 1950's were actually as dense as comics might have us believe, but I certainly hope not:

Superman is missing. So is Clark Kent. So, we assume he's looking for Superman. That is all.

Wow, the citizens of Metropolis are in serious denial, aren't they? They aren't going to put two and two together if you put a gun to their collective head.

Then again, maybe they're just humoring Superman in case he resurfaces. Everyone probably knows who he is, but since he's capable of eviscerating you with a fingernail, they just play along. He's like that badass guy that insists the kid who played Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver became Marilyn Manson, and no one dares to correct him.

But what was really going on with Superman? This:

Annnnnnd moving on:

I know Batman went through an outlandish, campy period, but I just can't get on board with an obsessed, anal-retentive vigilante with a savior complex using the word "golly."

Let's learn something:

Of course, these days they'd have Superman building that big wall along the U.S.-Mexico border, but there you have it. That's one to grow on!

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Black Avenger Wednesday!

No, I've never heard of him either, but every dog has his day. And this is the day for..... The Black Avenger!

So, this is him. From All-Winners #6:

Is it just me, or does All-Winners kind of fail to live up to its title most of the time? I certainly don't think this character was a winner. I mean, they've upped the Bitchin' Factor for almost every character ever created by a desperate cartoonist with a deadline and a mortgage to pay since 1939, but I'll wager this is the first time you've ever seen The Black Avenger.

And there's really not much to say about him, not that it's keeping me from devoting an entire day to him. I don't know why The Black Avenger wore a lot of lilac. I suppose calling yourself "The Lilac Avenger" would only get you a lot of rude and obscene gestures every time you stepped out the door, but it doesn't change that The Black Avenger wore a lot of lilac and very little black. I'd put him in the Costume Hall of Shame, but I'm afraid I'm missing some genius color scheme that's going right over my head.

Speaking of heads, I don't think he had any powers, but he could take a crowbar to the melon:

There's really no explanation as to why he has this power. I don't think it really constituted a power. He just was one of those guys that could shake off a smack to the head, I suppose. I can't imagine that being much of a power when it comes to going on the attack, but it's certainly something if you're going to be smacked from behind on a regular basis. So, um..... fear the unusual bone density of the skull of... The Black Avenger!

He did have a pretty good wit on him, though:

Hee! That was kind of a Deadpool/Spider-Man sort of remark, and we all like guys who can crack a joke, don't we? So.... fear the quick wit and unusual bone density of the skull of... The Black Avenger!

You watch..... Marvel will revive The Black Avenger, and you'll already be in the know. Making my readers that much more awesome is but one of many services of this blog. You're welcome!

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Irrefutable Proof that Comics are Awesome Tuesday!

I have many readers who don't read comics at all, and I'm sure they have a hard time understanding why we spend our whole lives keeping up with (and looking back at) these silly things.

Here, my friends, is why:

Because even when you get bored seeing Superman and Batman fight yet another alien

or watching Green Arrow fight yet another dinosaur

they give you this:

that's right.... Batman fighting a dragon. You don't ever want to miss out on watching Batman fight a dragon.

Or Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!):

Granted, this is funny on its face, but if you regularly read comics and learned what a horny toad Green Arrow became in later years, this is hysterical. Trust me.

See you tomorrow!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Kill 'Em and Grill 'Em! Monday!

Wow! What a busy Monday! But not so busy that I can't take a look at World's Finest #107:

One of the many, many, myriad of reasons I don't read Superman stories is because they almost always involve aliens of some type. Aliens are not only boring, but stories about them seem desperate, like the writers can't think of anything Superman can fight unless they totally make something up.

So, aliens generally suck. Unless they're White Martians. In the DC Universe, White Martians are dang scary.

And I guess it only makes sense that in the World's Finest team-ups, Batman was along for the ride while Superman fought aliens. It's not like a story with one of Batman's villains would be much of a read.

Why, Superman, it's nice of you to visit. The Joker's on the loose and...


I've found him, rounded up his gang, destroyed his lab, deactivated his bombs and put him back in Arkham Asylum, Batman! Who's up for a latte?

You get the idea. Anyway, here's some kind of space thing Superman and Batman fought just to have something to do:

See the problem? You make it tough enough to fight Superman, and pretty soon you have to make up something to take it out. Eventually, a Superman story will just be "Superman skipped trading punches with the alien all together and simply located the weapon it took to beat him, located conveniently in the alien's own spacecraft." It will take about 1/2 a page to tell the story, and it'll cost $3.95.

But in this particular story, things go from boring to downright disturbing:

So, as long as it isn't human, it's okay to kill it? That's a pretty wide grey area for a guy who finds himself among "non-humans" about 85% of the time.

I hate alien stories. Except White Martians. White Martians is creepy.

You kids today, what with your satellite television and video games. You have no imagination. Not like back in the day:

Well, Billy, I realize I have the benefit of hindsight here, but I'm pretty sure it'll look the same as that flag with 49 stars, only with one more star.

Hey! Let's finish off this manic Monday with some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!):

Boy, we've all been there, haven't we?

See you tomorrow!

Friday, October 16, 2009

YA-AAAA! Friday!

It was only a matter of time before I got around to the Golden Age Batwoman:

These two panels pretty much sum her up. Her weapons were all cosmetics-related, so you can pretty much count on me posting a panel every time she uses one. Also, she was taken hostage more times than Robin, which is really something. I mean, Robin could at least take out one guy. As you can see here, she goes limp the moment a physical confrontation presents itself. Welcome to the Character Hall of Shame, Golden Age Batwoman!

And hey! It's time for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue!

Since we saw Superman sing the other day, I had to put up this shot of him yelling, which looks even sillier:

as opposed to this classic moment from Superman II:

or an even greater mashup from the Lois and Clark TV series:

which naturally led me to Chad Vader's "Chocolate Rain" video:

I don't anticipate that my artistry will be appreciated in my lifetime, and that's ok. This is my gift to future generations.

See you Monday!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Uneasy Subject Matter Thursday!

I know we normally keep it comic-bookish around here, but check out yesterday's Blondie:

Is it just me, or has Alexander hired himself a prostitute?

Speaking of bad ideas:

Kids, despite how fun they make it look here, you probably shouldn't be diving with hard candy attached to little wooden sticks hovering near your esophagus.

And hey! Time to teach your children gunplay!

What does it take to get an NRA medal shooting at home, anyway? "One shot, one kill"?

And when the kid gets bored shooting at domestic animals and younger children:

That's right.... for the future sniper in your family!

I loves me some comics.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

We've Got Crabs (and Dragons)! Wednesday!

From World's Finest #101:

Considering the number of homicidal lunatics they usually have running through Gotham City at any time of the day, I would think a giant crab would be a refreshing change of pace.

Hey! Hasn't it been a while since we've seen Batman fighting a giant dragon?

Wow! It sure has! Thanks, World's Finest #103!

Robin is really no help at all unless he's sneaking up on someone, is he?

Sometimes, you just have to sing!

That's pretty good, Superman! But can you beat this?:

Wow. I apologize. Let's do our best to forget that ever happened, shall we?

Let's clean our craniums out from that by taking a look at some great stuff from Daredevil v2, #62:

Ah.... I feel better already.

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Hey! Have you heard that DC is going to release some "new" last issues of some fan-favorite cancelled series. For instance, they are going to publish a 67th issue of Suicide Squad, 20 years after the series ended. I think they've given me enough follow-up to that series, what with the SS: Raise the Flag miniseries of late and the Secret Six ongoing, but I'm always game for another Deadshot appearance somewhere. Others to look forward to are Atom/Hawkman, Catwoman, and Starman. I'd say Marvel needs to get on the stick, because we're all dying for some U.S.1 and Team America updates! Right? Right?

In the spirit of updating, let's check out this awesome bit from Avengers v1 #349:

Y'see, this is back in the day when Eric Masterson possessed the power of Thor instead of Don Blake for reasons I don't know because I wasn't a Thor reader, but in this particular instance the power of Thor (Eric Masterson version) was possessed by the spirit of Ares (yes, the same guy who is currently a good guy in New Avengers), who is clonking Hercules (who is only Hercules and has always been only Hercules as far as I know) in the noggin.

Being able to keep track of that sort of thing is why most comic readers are deceptively smart.

But I was actually just pointing out the sound effect. I'm not sure I could do any better than "SPWAKWOOM," but is "SPWAKWOOM" really the sound it would make if Thor smacked Hercules on the noggin?

Rewind to Avengers v1 #340:

I've never seen her before in my life.... but that won't stop me from touching her inappropriately while she's unconscious! Cap? You want to remove your right hand there?

And finally, from All-Winners #4:

That.... is the sort of thing of which nightmares are made. And that's a lovely racial stereotype in the top right corner as well. Wow. I do wish I had a copy of Joker Comics, just to see if it was as disturbing as this house ad.

See you tomorrow!