Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014 End of the Year Craptacular! Yeah, It's Mostly About TV.

Hey!  It's the end of 2014, so let's take a look back.

We have more new residents of our little comic book funhouse than ever before, hovering at around 150,000 site visits this year.  You're a quiet bunch, but I know you're tuning in, so my sincere thanks to you.

As to TV, could this year have been any more amazing?  I buggered off of Constantine because it just wasn't my thing.  But Arrow finished an incredible second season.  The third isn't as good so far, but it's still worth checking out.  The craziness of that second season was some of the best comic-based television you'll ever see.

  Meanwhile, Gotham was Beloved's personal favorite.  The character-based crime drama is well-cast and smartly written, so who could blame her?  If you check your preconceptions about the characters at the door (remember, it's an interpretation of the characters, not a translation), it's great stuff!

My personal favorite is The Flash.  How they managed to squeeze so much awesomeness into the first half of the first season is mind-boggling.  As with Arrow, you'll see bad guys come to life that you never thought you'd see and if a fraction of the rumors are true, Beloved will hardly be able to hear the show over my fanboy squealing.  Beloved likes it as well.

But you know what else we discovered that we really liked?  Misfits.  It's an older British show that's like X-Men with a lot less whining.  It ran on a channel called E4 from 2009 to 2013.  Check out the opening song and tell me you aren't intrigued:

It's violent, it's sexually graphic and the language is nonstop profanity.  And it's perfect.  Check it out on Hulu.  You'll be glad you did.  And while I'm thinking about it, check out Orphan Black.

While I'm not an Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. fan, we are going to give Agent Carter a try.  Dazzle us, Marvel!  Prove to us you can make decent television!

Movies?  Well.... the thing about movies is that they simply don't have the ability to grow on you over time the way a television series was.  We saw all the comic movies and... well, they were fine if not unremarkable.  I'm looking forward to some of the movies planned for the coming year.  Suicide Squad?  I never thought see the day.

As for comics.... well, I'm way behind, but I can say that a lot of DC's "New 52" has left me pretty cold.  Whoever decided to make Grifter an alien hunter should be banned from all DC editorial meetings.  Then again, Resurrection Man was better than I had hoped.  I don't know.  I'm years behind, aren't I?  It happens.

Anyway, it's been a great year.  Thanks again for being a part of it.  There won't be a post tomorrow, but we'll kick off 2015 on January 2nd!  See you then!  Stay safe!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

The Jester of Death! Any Similarities Between The Jester of Death and The Joker are Purely Coincidental. At Least, That's What We'll Say in Court.

I tried to watch Game of Thrones for the first time ever last night.  Gross.  I didn't make it past the first twenty minutes of the first episode.  I don't like supernatural stuff.  Reality is frightening enough.

So, let's check out Golden Age Captain America #40, which had this guy:

The Jester of Death, not to be confused with "The Jester," a hero who first appeared in Smash Comics a few years earlier (and still occasionally pops up in the DC Universe) or the Joker.  Although it would be very easy to confuse him with the Joker, because he certainly seems to be a watered-down version of him.

Then again, if you judge a person by their enemies, he's probably all Captain America could handle.  I mean, look at how stupid people were back in the day:

To be fair, the scene is at a party at a "House of Pranks," so folks can be forgiven if they think it's all a gag.

Until this:

I dunno... when someone reminds me "I asked for it," I start getting suspicious.  I've probably seen too many Looney Toons, but you just want to reverse your course of conduct if someone is about to do something to you while reminding you that you asked them to do it.

Just ask Belton:

And again... considering the circumstances, I can see why folks just thought it was for laughs.

At first:

Okay, at that point, someone should be checking Belton's vitals.

Yeah, Sherlock.  Try to keep up.

And then other people die because they're too gullible to recognize obvious danger when they see it.  I'll spare you the details.

And after the big reveal, I'm only left with one question:


Eeesh.  But we still won the war, and that's what really counts.

See you tomorrow!

Monday, December 29, 2014

Random Great Moments in Batman History

And we're back!  Back to the only blog where you can see Batman fight a gigantic winged snake!

Or maybe he's dancing with the winged snake.  He and Robin look awfully choreographed there.

And I double-dog dare you to find Batman arguing with a .... well, what is that?

Is that a leprechaun?  A gnome?  An elf?  I'm really not sure what the difference is, and I don't want to offend any readers I have who may be leprechauns, gnomes or elves by getting it wrong.  I think it's a gnome, but someone will say I'm a bigot if it's actually a leprechaun or an elf, so I'm afraid to really cast a vote on it.  I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I really can't tell for sure.  I guess I'm just not a very good person.

And there's.... whatever that was:

Actually, that was kind of a sad story, so we're not going to make fun of that creature.  Although you do have to wonder how much time and energy was spent on his design.  But it was one of those "the strange-looking creature had a huge heart and sacrificed himself for us" stories, and those always make me weepy.  Have you ever seen The Iron Giant?  That makes me bawl like a baby with colic.

These panels were from Batman #142 and 143, by the way.

Good to be back!  See you tomorrow!

Friday, December 19, 2014

Two More CMNS Memes! And the CMNS Dancers!

Dear Ones, I'm afraid there will be no posts next week because of the holiday.  Yours Truly is going to take a much-deserved break.  We'll be back on Monday December 29th for more fun-and-games!

But before we go, lets start a brand-new CMNS meme I like to call:

.... Sounds Fair. (tm!)

It goes a little something like this:  Take this guy from Golden Age Captain America #25.

.... Sounds Fair. (tm!)

Eh?  Eh?

Check out Dr. Agony!  That's an awesome name that I'm surprised no one uses these days.

I'd normally call "Shenanigans!", but cat purrs are pretty dang hypnotic.

Okay, one more new meme!  I call this one:

Decisions, Decisions. (tm!)

It goes like this:

Decisions, Decisions. (tm!)


That's it for me.  Have a great, safe week and I'll see all you lovelies on December 29th!  Take us out, CMNS DANCERS!:

Jimmy may be wearing pants that are too short, but you can't fault the boy's rhythm.

See you on the 29th!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

That Time Captain America Battled a Giant Cockroach

From Golden Age Captain America #25:

Yup.  That's Cap beating up a giant cockroach.  And he apparently needed help.  Not exactly one of his better moments.

But here's a great moment of Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)


That was a good one, if I do say so myself.


Although he answered his country's call to duty, Captain America could never forget his first love: Geography.

The Golden Age "Human" Torch always confused me.  First, and foremost, he's not "human."  He's actually an android.  So it always confused me a bit when he would do things like eat and sleep.  The nerdlinger in me has always been willing to chalk it up to "eating to fit in" and "sleep is a way to recharge his batteries" and "getting knocked out means he went offline" or something.

But this absolutely stymies me:

This is a guy who bursts into flames on a regular basis.  Why is fire causing him pain?

I don't get it.  Someone explain that away somehow, because it's going to grind my gears until... well, not for long, obviously.  I do have other things in my life to worry about.  But still.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Penny and Don and Edith and Lew... and the Comics Make No Sense Dancers! (tm!)

Because NO ONE demanded it, we have the rest of my Boy Meets Girl Comics #3.  Let's check in on Penny and Don.:

Oh, did I mention this is a true story and they are on their honeymoon?


Wow.  I wonder how long that marriage lasted?  I suspect Penny finally went off the deep end and served Don roasted whip-poor-will one Thanksgiving.

Hey!  It's time for the Comics Make No Sense Dancers (tm!)

That was great, kids!  We'll see more of them, for sure!

Hey, let's check in on Edith and Lew!

But Lew has a dark side:

In Lew's defense, she had no business smiling like that when she gave him the salt, especially after Lew gave her a whole truckload of flowers.

Hey!  Here's a romance quiz for you:

I'm not sure what the right answer is!  I'm going with (A) because it's direct.  (B) is all passive-aggressive and .... well, so is (C), depending on the tone of voice she uses.

Hey!  Remember we were talking about the "Approved by the Comics Code" thing on the cover of this title?  Here's the explanation:

Hmmmmm.... so it's actually approved by a Comics Code.... not the Comics Code.  Those sly romance comics people.

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

How to Be Popular, Agnes-Style!

Sometimes, you just need the "shootin' fish in a barrel" silliness of Boy Meets Girl comics, so let's check out issue #3!

I didn't just put the last line in by itself as a Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!) because... well... you know.

Here's some advice from Agnes on how to manage high school:

Well played, Agnes... well played.

I fell asleep happy... next to my super-creepy clown doll.

Again, that's another one where I could have just taken the dialogue and gone with the Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!) (saying something along the lines of "no, that means you're doing it right!  Are you with me, fellas?"), and it would have been a classic.  But I admit I was distracted by the song on the radio.  Here it is:

In retrospect, I should have just gone with the dialogue, shouldn't I?

Oh, well.  Check out Lucy Thomas!

I think Lucy looks like the kind of gal who "gets her man and holds him" with violence and psychological torment.  Don't cross, Lucy, fellas.  She'll wreck you.  But I'm totally looking forward to seeing what kind of love advice she gives.

See you tomorrow!

Monday, December 15, 2014

Batman vs. Clocks and Moths

Early warning: Next week is a holiday week, so let's get some giggles while we can.  Today, it's courtesy of Batman #141:

"Take it back to the Bat-cave and see what develops"?

Maybe I'm oversimplifying things, but why didn't they just move the hands of the clock and "see what developed" a whole lot sooner?  My grandmother had a cuckoo clock and we'd get her to move the hands forward on that thing all the time so we could see the cuckoo.  It's a pretty sad day when Batman would rather sit around and look at a clock and wait for a clue to be handed to him than to actually show some initiative.

Not that the crooks were any smarter:

A small helicopter as a getaway vehicle is pretty dang smart... but you probably shouldn't park it right next to the giant swinging golf club.

Oh, and if you're wanting to see the Clockmaster, here you go:

Get a good look, because that was his only appearance.  Kind of like the Moth:

Looking at this guy, I think that four heroes jumping him is overkill.  No, this isn't the same Killer Moth who would later appear.  This guy is just "The Moth."  And you know how dangerous moths are... if you're made entirely of wool.

Not surprising, but pretty disgraceful. If you get taken out by the original Batgirl, you're going to be the laughing stock of Blackgate Prison.  Count on it.

And that costume is ridiculous.  Off to the Costume Hall of Shame (tm!) with you, The Moth!

See you tomorrow!