Friday, January 20, 2017

The Ghost of Captain Marvel Junior... Spooky!

Yeesh, it's been another week?  I tell you, I don't remember being this short on time until the last year or so.  I'm not sure what changed.  Maybe me... maybe I'm just getting older and it's taking me longer to get everything done.  The calendar has it's way with us all.

Granted, I have been enjoying the PS4 and Netflix subscription I got over the holidays, but I really don't think that's it.  Hey, do you come here to get a few laughs, or to judge me?  And by the way, if you have Netflix and haven't watched Marvel's Jessica Jones, you're missing out.  It's one of Beloved's favorites, and I think it's dang good... but it's not for the kiddies.

Anyway, let's look at Master Comics #49:

Dang it, Lex Luthor!  Quit using my blimp!

I don't see your name on it.

I'll fix that!

It turns out Dr. Sivana wants to mix things up by having his face caved in by CMJ's fists for a change, so he creates a smear campaign:

Now, most heroes would probably just shrug.  Well, the cool ones would.  Superman would probably lose his mind if people weren't kissing his cape every second of every day.  But CMJ is a younger person, so he's got that youthful insecurity thing going on:

Why didn't the magic lighting go off?

Again... why didn't the magic lightning go off?

Okay, it's supposed to go off every time the words are said, not just when CMJ wants the words to bring the lightning down.  Egad, they're getting a little cocky at Master Comics.

Hey!  Random Ray Usage! (tm!)

And like most Random Rays, this one totally works.  Although why Sivana would want to put himself in a position where CMJ can haunt him without Sivana's knowledge, I don't know.  Then again, I don't have the smarts to come up with a Random Ray in the first place.

CMJ tries the magic lightning to see if Freddy Freeman will suffer the effect of the ray.  Thusly:

Why did Freddy choose to tickle Sivana rather than just clonk him over the head?  Because, comics!

Freddy decided he'd rather be a powerful ghost than a person with a physical disability.  I'm not sure I like the message this story is sending.

Hey!  I see some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

Anyway, CMJ finally figures out that the way to solve the problem is to make it Sivana's problem.  Thusly:

Since spirits can touch each other, they can apparently beat on each other as well:

I'm a little confused as to how one can be intangible and feel pain, but comics!

Wait a minute.  All he had to do was grab the thing and hit the reverse button?  I guess the old "Wisdom of Solomon" was taking a backseat in CMJ's psyche that day.

Hold on... you'll join the thugs beating up on the police chief?  Why would you...

Okay.... you're beating up the thugs who are beating up on the police chief.  Because you said... you know what?  Never mind.

Well, at least they're honest that he's not gone for good.  That's a level of respect for a reader's intelligence you don't see a whole lot of in comics.

Well, sure... if you believe the liberal media!

See you soon!

Friday, January 13, 2017

Gangway for Bulletboy! Or Young Bulletman! Or Something!

And we're back!  Had the big work project pop up again.  I'll probably have another day or three down the road where I'm 100% focused on that (well, that and catching up on Orange is the New Black because priorities, right?), but for now let's look at Master Comics #48:

I'm skipping the CMJ story because there wasn't much there.  I thought by the look of the cover that he was about to beat up the Golden Age Sandman, but that didn't happen at all.

Hey!  Who's this guy?

Well, we know he loves his RC Cola, but what else?  Well, apparently Johnny Mack Brown was a big shot college football star before heading to the bright, cruel lights of Hollywood when someone in the biz saw him on a Wheaties box.  He had appeared in more than 160 movies over a 40 year career and lived to be 70 years old.  He also had a happy marriage of 48 years (until his death), so it sounds like Johnny Mack did all right for himself.

Not like this kid...

Hoo-boy.  You know what's coming.

Okay, the kid bought a Bulletman suit and now thinks he had Bulletman's powers.  This is the kind of kid you shouldn't let read comics.

Anyway, Jim and Susan totally enable this dangerous behavior:

I mean, the kid apparently makes your clothes change color when he hits you, but I don't think that would even land you a slot in the Legion of Substitute Heroes.

Yeah, you could just let the kid find out he's way out of his depth before he gets seriously hurt, but I guess this is another way to go.

Susan, I wish I could say I expected better of you but I really didn't.

Tod Drake?  You don't think he's any relation to Tim Drake?  Because that would be strangely awesome.

You know.... 

... this Tim Drake?

Anyway, the kid apparently at least has enough sense to know he can't fly (which to me would be a big part of having Bulletman's powers, but I don't think logic is this kid's strong suit), so he hops on his bike to go chase armed criminals...

.... and you'd think that Jim and Susan would think the joke had gone on long enough and put a stop to this behavior before the kid learns what getting shot by a handgun feels like, but ...

... he actually approves.

Again... this is a perfect spot to tell the kid to stop this self-destructive behavior before he gets himself killed.

But apparently not according to Bulletman:

The kid can't even keep track of his name and they let him go charging into a room full of gangsters.  I'm about to call Child Protective Services on someone.

See?  It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Actually, Jim, I think you waited a little too long.  At least that's what I'm telling the police.

Oh, man.... you don't think they're going to bring this kid back for more, do you?  It's not like they did anything to discourage him.  Heck, they're helping him.  Once the kid meets Bulletdog, they're going to have a heck of a time getting him to hang up his fake helmet. 

Yeesh!  See you soon!

Monday, January 9, 2017

When You Make a Man Close Up His Jernt, You Make an Enemy

Howdy, folks!  Again I have to apologize for dropping off the map there.  I had a bit of a project to do for ye olde day job and it took every spare minute I had.

But we're back, so let's finish our look at Master Comics #47!

I'm not a big fan of Western comics (although I do read a Jonah Hex and Bat Lash story every chance I get), but you've got to love lines like, "He made me close up my jernt."

Hey!  It's time for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)


He does?  Um.... what's in it for me, exactly?  I suppose it's flattering to be asked, but I'm not really up on "riding into danger" with anyone unless there are some very clear understandings.

And now for another installment of Wait.... what? (tm!)

Wait.... what? (tm!)

I understand it was a more innocent time, but let's not forget that Billy Batson is a child.  I realize they're one and the same, but the people he's talking to don't know that and I don't think it's ever a good idea to say you have a "date" with a child.  Poor choice of words there, Cap!

Really?  Because looking at that picture, I've got a mighty good feeling about that fella.  He's got one of those trustworthy faces, you know?

And finally, an interesting bit of history in this house ad!

Cool stuff!

See you soon!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

That Time Hitler Got Powers... Or at Least a Costume!

And we're back!  I hope yours was awesome!

Let's start the new year off right with Master Comics #47!

Neat cover... but the real payoff is inside:

Oh, yeah.  This is happening!

Let the awesomeness commence:

That's either artistic license to show how scary the Gestapo seemed, or they had access to Pym particles.


And for no reason, along comes Hitler!  Awesome!

Even Hitler appreciated a Random Spanking! (tm!)

But then he figured out he also wasn't represented too well in American funny books:

So he puts his scientists to work at finding him a magic word.  Thusly:

And the propaganda machine starts a'rolling!

Adolf then decides to go to America to observe CMJ in action to get a better grasp of the whole thing:

Freddy just said the magic word in front of Adolph Hitler and didn't change into CMJ.  I'm not trying to be that guy, but that's pretty sloppy writing.

Anyway, there's a robbery and CMJ goes about smacking the bandits:

And Adolf tries the same thing:

And then Hitler disappears!

Sadly, he didn't stay in that trash can forever, but he got his eventually.  That was a fun story and a great way to start the year!

See you soon!