Friday, February 28, 2014

Rigging Competitions is a Job for Superman!

I found myself a reprint of Action Comics #252, which was restored because it has the first appearance of Supergirl.  But equally as awesome was the first appearance of Metallo, a character who has been around so long that most of us have forgotten his origin.

He was in an automobile accident and he just happened to be found by a guy who could put his brain in a robot body:

But there's a catch!  There's always a catch:

It seems to me that if you're John Corben, the answer to that question would be pretty dang important.  But Corben interrupts the good doctor before he can tell him:

Corben must have had ADD.  Something else can keep me alive?  Tell me!  Wait!  Isn't that Haley's Comet?

Scientists often have debilitating health episodes at the most inconvenient times in comic books.

But before we go on, check this out:

Okay, so the sub is trying to set a record for being submerged the longest and it looks like they've had technical difficulties.  So, Superman decides to interfere:

In other words, he's going to help them cheat.

ANYHOO, it turns out Metallo didn't choose that rather silly name for himself:


Now we're talking!  Go kill Lois and Superman, Metallo!  And take Jimmy Olsen down while you're at it.  I hate his green jacket and little bow-tie:

And if a plot device worked earlier in the story, why not twice?

That's the second character to have a cardiac episode in a single story.  Every restaurant in Metropolis must have been using a lot of trans-fats.

And I suppose we still have time to put a piece of uranium or kryptonite in his chest cavity before he's brain-dead, but he kind of cheesed me off.

See you Monday!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Wook at the Pwetty Wattwe!

Let's start our look at Pep Comics #51 with a rare installment of He Probably Should Have Seen That Coming (tm!):

He Probably Should Have Seen That Coming.  (tm!)

Meanwhile... Hey!  Let's Learn Something! (tm!)

That was quite a reaction from Dusty, so I did a little research on The Google, and learned that fear of babies and children is a real thing called pedophobia.  I think it became widespread after the introduction of the "Baby Secret" Doll:

We Just Learned Something! (tm!)

I would imagine that by now, the entire Pep Comics readership was wondering to whom they would speak about getting their dimes back.

Uh-oh!  Someone's on the phone!  You know what that means!

Yup.  Savvy CMNS readers know that more people die talking on the phone than slip in the bathtub.

How awesome would it be if the story ended there with Dusty getting strangled?  Come to think of it, let's end it there!  Dusty's dead!  YAY!

Okay, we all know he didn't really die but we're going to pretend for the rest of the day.  Deal?

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Golden Gorillas and Snu Snu!

Action Comics #248 was something of a milestone in that, while it wasn't the first appearance of the Congorilla, it was the origin of the Bill / Congorilla mind-transfer thingie.  Thusly:

As we would learn later in this story, the "hour" time limit is actually a minimum as well.  In other words, swap your consciousness with a gorilla and it's going to last an hour, no more and no less.  There are rules to this, people!

Anyhoo, Bill gets trapped in a cave (a surprisingly common occurrence in comics) and decides to give it a go:


And just like that, Congo Bill went from a back-up feature riding on the popularity of Superman to a back-up feature starring a gorilla riding on the popularity of Superman, which (as even the most casual reader of our little fun-house here knows) is bitchin'.

See what I mean?  Bitchin'.

Where the gorilla went while Congo Bill was in his human body, I don't know.  If it were me, I would want to eyeball the gorilla because... and just bear with me here because this is a perfectly valid point... what if you put your mind into something that died?  I presume you have just killed yourself by being careless (which is another fairly common occurrence in comics).

Comic book nerdlingers know that this never happened.  Congo Bill's mind was in the body of the Congorilla when Bill's body died, trapping him in the gorilla's body forever.

Which... to be fair... is also bitchin'.  Because it's not like anyone cares about Bill when his mind isn't in the body of a gorilla.

Meanwhile, in a totally different story:

Say it with me, Futurama fans!  

And... by a good 65 years... Comics Did it First! (tm!)

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Dusty! Get a Grip on Yourself! (No, Not THAT Way!)

Let's take a look at the Shield story from Pep Comics #50!:

Whatever could it be?

I think Dusty is living out a scene from Trainspotting.

Just ride it out, Dusty!  Put on some Pink Floyd and eat some nacho cheese Doritos!

I'm being unfair, of course.  Upon further investigation, Joe finds:

Quick, Joe!  Throw the bottle down a storm drain!  No one ever has to know!

But some mad scientist who decided to randomly shrink Dusty decides to do the same thing to Joe, and they both find themselves in the bottle together:

Shut up, Dusty.  (tm!)

Anyway, with no help whatsoever from Dusty, the Shield gets free and proceeds to lay the hurt on the bad guy...

While Dusty doesn't do much of anything.  Gee, quelle surprise!

I do, however, love the off-camera sound effects.

Technically, life itself is taking us into the future, Dusty.  I just blew your mind, didn't I?

But, as will come as a great surprise to no one, the Spectacular Boy Detective screwed up and ends up sending everyone into the past.  On the plus side, we get to see the Shield fight a dinosaur: 

Let that dinosaur feed, Shield!  LET HIM FEED, I SAY!

And, it turns out....

well... first let's savor the Fun with Out of Context Dialogue / Artwork! (tm!)(tm!)

Okay, back to the story.

And, it turns out...

It was all just a dream... or WAS it? (tm!)

See you tomorrow!