Friday, April 28, 2017

The Best "Out of Context Dialogue" Ever? Plus, Another Awesome Origin!

Two days in a row! Are we back on track?  Is it a sign of things to come?  Heck if I know!  I do love posting, but I get so dang busy these days.  Oh, well... let's start enjoying Master Comics #53!

Man, they just aren't going to call it quits on Radar, are they?  Poor CMJ... he's clearly the star of the book but there he is, standing behind Radar to try and get him a little attention.  CMJ... always willing to take one for the team.

I don't say much about Radar stories (although I read them) because not much happens.  For example, here was the big reveal in this issue's story:

Wow... thank goodness Nazis working undercover can't resist the urge to return the salute.  That's like how undercover cops have to tell you that they're cops if you ask them.

DISCLAIMER: You know that last part was a joke, right?  Totally was.

Anyway, they may be trying to make Radar more interesting by expanding "the Organization."

Okay, (A) The fact that he refers to himself as "Radar, the International Policeman" connotes a lot of personal insecurity that I imagine the lady finds very unattractive.  Don't overplay your hand, fellas!

And, (B) Radar can read minds?  I had completely forgotten he had any power at all, other than his powers of super-chauvinism:

Enough of him.  On to Nyoka, the Jungle Girl!  I'm not sure why she's called "the Jungle Girl" when she's clearly glamping her way through her jungle travels.  Maybe that's just how she markets herself.

I appear to be on a tangent.  Let's break it with some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!)

Okay, that just didn't make sense.  We need something suggestively filthy:

Ah!  There we go!  This has been Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

And now, let's have a Random Slap! (tm!)

And another:

Whoops!  False start!  She swerved on me.

I've talked about Mary Marvel's unremarkable dress before, but we never saw the awesome origin!

We're all about keeping a complete comics history here at CMNS.  You're welcome!

Whew!  And we haven't even reached the CMJ or Bulletman stories yet!  This issue was a gold mine of.... well, it really hasn't been too much so far, but the "slimy thing" dialogue alone was worth the price of admission wasn't it?

Do good things, my darlings!

Thursday, April 27, 2017

In Which Captain Marvel Junior is... well, it just ain't right

The blog that will not die returns with a look at Master Comics #52!

Oh, eeesh.  They're still pushing Radar.  This needs to stop.

But note that they're promoting war bonds, because that's relevant later.  Kind of.  Eh, don't worry about it.  I'll remind you.

First, check out Bulletman!

You know, I like to think that if someone heard me pounding from the inside of a bank vault, they'd put 2 and 2 together and not just leave me in there if I didn't send them a message in Morse Code.  Maybe people hung out in bank vaults back in the day, but seriously... if you hear me pounding from inside a bank vault, whether it sounds like Morse Code or the drum solo from "Wipeout,".... please just open the door.

On to CMJ, where things take a very strange turn:

Hmmmmm.... "Martin Mayhem" is only about 50% intimidating, if you know what I mean.  Anyway, we all know that the Marvel Family's powers (lightning bolt emblem notwithstanding) come from magic, not electricity.  So, Martin is barking up the wrong tree here.

Or so I thought.

Well, you could just knock the walls over.  I've seen you throw tanks around like they're lawn darts.  I really don't see the issue.

Okay, that was a pretty good burn from Martin Mayhem.  I'll give him that.

Seriously... knock the walls over.  Why do heroes forget their power set on a regular basis?

Anyway, like I said, CMJ's powers come from magic, so anything electricity based will have no effect on...

Wait... what?

Ok, first some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!):

That was Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

But back to business... you mean to tell me that "draining electricity" stole CMJ's powers?

Okay... HOW????

Someone tell me how this happened.  I cannot accept this!

Anyway, they fight... and it shouldn't be much of a fight because "Martin Mayhem" turned "Captain Monster" shouldn't have any powers!!  YEESH!

And then... well this part makes sense if the earlier stuff did:

And then CMJ drags his now-powerless opponent back to Earth so he can punch him...

... which I would normally say is overdoing it, but Captain Monster made my head hurt, so anything goes.

It's very accommodating of the authorities to imprison super-villains in their costumes.  It happens so often, I'm usually surprised when they don't.

Why they bother with guys like Captain Monster when guys like Captain Nazi are still relevant (remember the war bonds?), I have no idea.  It's like putting the Joker on hiatus so Batman can fight villains like the Mime.

Hey!  Check it out!

Oooooh!  Want!

I took a look at the address on Zillow.  It's actually a house, and someone's looking to get almost 4 million bucks for it. 

Finally, this was new:

Yeah, we've seen "Mac" get slapped around the beach more times than we can count, but we've never seen Jack work out so he can beat up a guy whose assertive dancing style clearly masks insecurities about his fashion sense.

See you soon, my lovelies!  Never count us out!