Friday, December 23, 2016

Why Didn't I Stick to Knitting? It's Not Nearly as Felonious!

Okay, Dear Ones, I'm afraid there will be no new posts until after the New Year commences.  I'm thinking it'll be 1/3/17, but I may be too happy that 2016 has finally ended to post anything.

Eh, it'll probably be 1/3/17.

But before we retire to the holidays, let's finish our look at Master Comics #46!

You may recall that when we previously say Bulletman, he was doing a solo story.  So, I guess in the interest of equal time or something:

Yes... a Bulletgirl solo story.  Although she has Bulletdog with her, so I'm not sure that counts as a solo story.

Anyway, Random Slap! (tm!)

And then things get all Mad Men:

Wow, Jim is a tool.

And then it leads to this:

And it turns out sexism isn't just limited to Bulletman:

I didn't realize the absence of a Y-chromosome made a person afraid of firearms.  Comics teach us the most random things, don't they?

This is an embarrassment to us all at this point.  Time to fade out:

Yeah, undermine the lady in your life and she'll just love you all the more, right?  I'm prepared to guess that the writer of this story didn't get a lot of attention from the ladies and was rather bitter about it.

And finally:

Yay!  I've captured Hitler!

Sort of!

I *COULD* end the war right now, but I'm going to just leave!  For no reason!  Because, COMICS!

See you in 2017!

Thursday, December 22, 2016

In Which We Read Yet Another Grimm's Fairy Tale Ripoff... Blarg.

It's an appropriately winter-themed cover to Master Comics #46!

I'm not sure who "the gang" is there, but we don't see them in the interior of the comic, so I guess they decided they had better things to do.

Here's yet another historically interesting piece:

If you don't want to read the tiny print, they're basically saying that they're printing fewer copies as part of the war effort and some comics might arrive late due to transportation difficulties.  That must have been one heck of a time to be alive, regardless of where you were or what you were doing.

Anyway, let's check out the main story:

Well, Dillwhink isn't just going to sit there and let some guy insult his manhood as a gardener... or something... so he goes into his basement and randomly throws chemicals into a beaker: 

Because as anyone who reads comics knows, mixing random chemicals solves everything.

And then this happens:

Oh, yeesh.  Don't tell me...

Yup.  This is happening.

I'm going to butt in here: Why does disabled Freddy Freeman have to deliver the paper to Mr. Dillwhink?  Freddy sells them on the street corner and if Dillwhink insists on personal delivery from the guy with physical limitations, he's a jerk.

Maybe the cloud giant didn't want his home invaded.  HINT HINT.

Geez, CMJ.  Leave the guy alone!

Hmmm... I wouldn't have expected the lightning to bother a member of the Marvel Family, seeing as how they zap themselves with lightning on a regular basis.  Oh, well.

Yeah, the Cloud Giant is clearly a menace with which CMJ needs to concern himself, what with his insistence on taking a nap and all.  Isn't there a war going on somewhere?

Yup.  Valid point for the Cloud Giant.

Okay, first?  The goose is awesome and should make regular appearances.  Second?  Dillwhink is going out of his way to convince me CMJ should have just let him go splat at the beginning of the story.

Again: Cloud Giant has a very valid complaint here.

Yes, and you should let the Cloud Giant beat Dillwhink back to the Stone Age.

You know, CMJ should really just stay out of this whole thing.

And as if this story hadn't completely lost me from the moment I learned of the premise, it gets worse.

Dillwhink is caught in the act of stealing from the Cloud Giant, but nothing happens to him because CMJ returns the Goose.  

That's not how law works.  Also, the Cloud Giant decides CMJ is his pal because CMJ saved the Cloud Giant from falling... after CMJ caused him to fall in the first place.  

Okay, I'm done.  I can't take any more.

See you soon!

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

A Bulletman Story with Which Adam Just Can't Deal

Before we leave Master Comics #45, we must take a look at this.  I'm going to just be quiet and let you take it in as it happened:

Yes.  You can scroll back up and read it over and over, but it won't change. All we can say is Well.... THAT Happened! (tm!)

Moving on, we saw yesterday a house ad encouraging readers to buy war bonds and stamps.  It was part of a pretty concentrated effort, as the issue was worked into the Minute Man story as well:

Nice to see comics trying to help out in a crisis!

See you soon!

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

In Which CMJ Socks German Germs!

Checkity-checking out Master Comics #45!

I had thought that "German Germs" was just a dig, but I should have known better.  Thusly:

That grumpy fellow is Von Krumm and he has a new approach to germ warfare:

Well.... not really.  I don't know if "people can become allergic to anything," but after one cough or a sneeze, this stuff just makes you lazy.  Thusly:

And this is where things start to get complicated for me.  Are the members of the Marvel Family immune to poison and the like?  At first, it seems they are:

Remember this, because I'm going to bring it up again.

It was that day that people began referring to Captain Marvel Jr. as "Captain Buzzkill."

Anyway, CMJ gets to the bottom of things, but the guy is so physically harmless that there's not a lot to it:

See?  Mashing the gun is the biggest thing happening there.

Well, until this:

I would ask plenty of questions before taking any pills that guy handed me, but I'm also not about to get my clock cleaned by CMJ.


Okay, first?  You should probably get someone to explain to you how the pills works before you ingest them.  That should be a given, but apparently it isn't.

Also, if the gas didn't work on him, why do the pills?  I'm not a doctor, so get one to explain that to you and then explain it to me.

Moving on...

See what I mean about "figuring out how the pills work before you take them"?  This is kind of what I was getting at.

CMJ kind of deserved that kick for being so careless.  I like the character, but yeesh.

Then things get kinda cool:

Am I the only one thinking of that old Dr. Mario video game right now?  Beloved really liked that game.

So then this happens:

To the writer's credit, they didn't just decree that switching identities back and forth would magically undo everything.  That happens in Marvel Family stories when they write themselves into a corner.  But in this case, we go the extra step: 

Hmmmm... again, I'm not sure how the Marvel Family digestive system works, but that's proportionately a gigantic pill!

Now watch this:

Okay, what does CMJ say instead of "Shazam" to change to Freddy Freeman and vice versa?  The writer apparently forgot, because CMJ shouts out his magic word and nothing happens.  Thusly:

Okay, enough of that.  Check out this ad for war bonds and stamps!

I looked up what it means to "do it up brown."  Most sources think it came from the concept of cooking meat until it was brown.  Regardless, it means to do things emphatically.  It's funny how expressions come and go.

There was even a song back in the 50's!  Here it is because I love ya!

See you tomorrow!