Tuesday, September 30, 2014

You Can Never Have Too Much Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

I'm pooped, but never too pooped for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

So, you may say to yourself, "Hey!  This is a comic book blog!  Shouldn't there be pictures?"


Yup.  That happened.

That was Ozone, who used aerosol cans as weapons.

No, I'm not making that up.  Look at that outfit and tell me if you think I'm making that up.

The sad thing is, it too Green Arrow a three-part story, from Detective Comics #527 to 530, to take this putz out.  Granted, he was only in back-up stories so it was really only the equivalent of a full-sized regular story.... but still.

Although I'd pay cash money to read an Ozone vs. Vibe from JLA Detroit mini-series, so figure that one out!

Back to more Fun with Out of Context Dialogue(tm!), from Detective Comics #532:

Boy, we've all been there, haven't we?

See you tomorrow!

Monday, September 29, 2014

Captain America, Living Legend and Holder of Visa Platinum Card

Dear Ones, I couldn't help but notice that the number of visitors to this blog has more than doubled since I went on hiatus back in 2012.  I have no idea why this is the case, other than I guess an audience naturally grows over time, but I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has been with CMNS from the beginning and welcome the new readers!

I'm going to take a one-day break from Batman and take a look at some panels from Golden Age Captain America #11.

Captain America vowed this would be his last meal at Red Lobster.

And now it's time for a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!):

This has been a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

And finally...

Captain America was easily impressed with his frequent purchases from the Sharper Image.

Yeah, I know.  I'm feeling silly today.  See you tomorrow!

Friday, September 26, 2014

Why is Catwoman a Blonde in this Story?

Let's ease on to the weekend with a few more panels from Batman.  This little bit of Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!) came from issue #12:

That's What HE Said!

Thank you, thank you.

Going back to the awesomeness of issue #35, we have another installment of Well.... Touche! (tm!)

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

And finally, we have a look at Dick Grayson, Blogger:

Welcome to the dark side, Dick.

See you Monday!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

In Which Batman Fights Dinosaurs. No Further Description Necessary.

Courtesy of Batman #35, we have one of the most iconic Batman stories of the Golden Age: "Dinosaur Island!"

Eagle-eyed folks will recognize that dinosaur.  He ends up being one of the more famous trophies in the Batcave, even to this day!  It's right up there with the giant penny in terms of familiarity to bat-nerdlingers over the decades.  Thusly:

Anyway, on to the story:

Yup.  And, might I add, this story came out in 1946.... 44 years before Jurassic Park.  As always, Comics Did It First! (tm!)

Um, I'm pretty sure that man had tools and weapons pretty early on.  If there were dinosaurs around, natural selection would dictate that you'd figure out in a hurry that fighting a dinosaur with your hands wasn't going to be very productive.

Touch football has all the excitement of the real thing?  Really?  I'm not a sports guy, but somehow I just don't think most people would agree.

Enough of that.  We were promised Batman fighting dinosaurs, so let's see it happen:


Finally, as an added bonus, let's see some dialogue you'd probably only expect to see in comics:

That's some classic comic book storytellin', folks.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Batman's Biffin' Boppin' Bammin' Wednesday!

Plowing my way through the week, checking out Batman #12:

Buy war bonds and replace this Army Jeep I clearly just stole because Robin and I are not affiliated with the U.S. Military in any fashion!

Hey!  It's time for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!):

How many times have I said that to Beloved?  How many?

Batman's utility belt is quite the technological marvel, containing many innovative and advanced crime-fighting weapons:

Although he apparently forgot to put in something sharp.  You'd think that would have been one of the first things he'd put in there, but what do I know?  He should add that to the list.  Along with a flashlight.

Let's say farewell until tomorrow with another installment of CMNS Sound Effects Theatre! (tm!):

I'm sorry, but "Bif Bop Bam" now has this song running through my head:

Yeah, I'm sorry about the earworm.  I just hate to suffer those alone.  It could be worse: I could have put the latest U2 album on here.

See you tomorrow, if the Fates allow!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

A Legal Analysis of Bruce Wayne as a Potential Juror. Also, Batman Fights a Giant Squid.

Let's take a looksee at Batman #11, where we learn that Bruce Wayne is (to no one's surprise), one of the last people you'd ever want on your jury if you were a criminal defendant:

"I'm going to be on the convicting end of the law!"

That's a downright scary thing for someone to think about jury duty.  The man knows nothing about what the allegations are (jurors don't know what case they'll be sitting on beforehand), but he's already got a conviction in his mind.  And it's not that I don't understand where that's coming from, considering his history what with seeing his parents murdered, but... no.  The defense would like to thank Mr. Wayne for his time and ask that he be stricken for cause.

Enough legal blah-blah.  Let's see him fight a giant squid!:

That's so awesome that I'm willing to overlook the fact that Batman was able to speak underwater!

See you tomorrow, if the Fates allow!

Monday, September 22, 2014

The Joker Tends to Overcomplicate Things Sometimes

Dear Ones, I'll do my best to make with the daily posts, but things might be a little cray-cray for the next few weeks, so just bear with me.

Meanwhile, let's take a look at Batman #11:

I'm not sure, but I think the narrator just insulted Robin.  I mean, no one likes to be called "impatient" or "foolhardy."  Frankly, I don't see the narrator doing much of anything, so perhaps he should limit his backseat driving.  It's always those who don't do much who are always criticizing those who get things done.

Moving on....

Simply and quietly?  A bullet?  A knife?  Even a quick injection of Joker venom?

Hmmmm... I'm thinking the Joker's definition of  "simply" is different from mine.  Granted, he's an icon of evil whilst I'm just a dork with a blog, but I think my way would have gotten the job done a bit more quickly.

I'm not saying it isn't effective, Robin.  I'm just saying that it's not very simple if it take minutes like that.  Yeesh.  Quit with the moaning and groaning, wouldya?

Hey!  It's time for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!):

See you tomorrow, if the Fates allow!

Friday, September 19, 2014

Batman, Spankings, Flies, Dinosaurs, and Random Slaps. You're Welcome.

Before we launch into Golden Age Batman #10, let's savor a Moment... of Comic Book Greatness (tm!), courtesy of ish #9:

This has been a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm)

And now for a Random Spanking! (tm!):

You can never have to many Random Spanking (tm!) panels in a blog.  You just can't.

WHAT THE?  I swear to you, I didn't doctor that panel.  I also looked up the word "gay" to see if I could reconcile it.  I guess he's just telling Robin not to get too excited, but that's an odd word choice given the definitions of the word.

Seriously, don't ever use words that designate a group of people in a negative way.  That includes "gay," "retarded," and "lame."  Personally, I have used the word "lame" until recently because I was ignorant.... and Beloved uses a cane.  How stupid am I?  But it's never too late to change for the better.

Now would be a good time to see Batman and Robin fighting said dinosaur:


And then:

Batman's first trip to ComicCon was his last.

Take us out with a Random Slap! (tm!):

And before you get too worked up, Catwoman is still wearing that cat head helmet from the early days, so I doubt it led to much in the way of pain.  Besides, Catwoman can take all that and then some, because she's the effin' Catwoman.

See you Monday!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Superman, Patron Saint of Animal Cruelty

Action Comics #487 is where I'm giving up.  I'm missing a lot of upcoming issues, and I'm getting rather bored.  We'll take a look at Superman's solo title in the near future.

But not before we take a look at Microwave Man!

Not only could he fly and repel bullets, he could pop a batch of Orvile Redenbacher's in less than 3 minutes!

Here's a super feat of animal abuse:

"Book him, Lou!"

"What for, Chief?"

"One count of... being an alligator!"

Yeah, that was paraphrased from The Simpsons.  Same point, though.

Meanwhile, from Batman #8:

Later, in the Batcave, Bruce would silently weep.  Words hurt.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Betty Ross, Sexual Harasser

All kinds of fun from Golden Age Captain America Comics #9:

This is Betty Ross.  No, not the one who was the object of Bruce Banner's affections.  This is the original one.  They went with "Betty Ross" because of "Betsy Ross," which she was occasionally called for a while.  Get it?  Because it's Captain America and some writers have no shame.

Anyway, Cap reacts as any macho man would:

Geez, Betty.  No means no!

Good timing, Bucky!  I think you just prevented a sexual assault!

You haven't what, Betty?  YOU HAVEN'T WHAT?

Betty is probably on a sex offender registry somewhere.

And now, another installment of Well.... Touche! (tm!)

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

We're a bit overdue for a look at the Hurricane, Master of Speed!:

His origin is too complicated for me to figure out.  They apparently spent the time that normally would have been spent designing clothing for the man and made his origin as convoluted as possible.  I think he was supposed to be Mercury in some respect, but I can't put it together.  All I know is that if you're a hero in Captain America Comics, prepare to run around half-clothed if you aren't the title character.

See you tomorrow!