Friday, May 29, 2015

Close Encounters of the Cupcake Kind!

Hey, gang!  I got word that the awesome Comic Book Men is casting for season five, so if you've got something awesome... well, first, consider sending it to me first so I can pull any humor out of it for the rest of us and then.... go to this link if you want to audition.  If you get on the show, make sure you begin every sentence with, "Well, as I read on Comics Make No Sense..."

Meanwhile, contributor Robert Gillis is taking over the content for today, and some greatness he does have!  First, the appearance of a brand new meme we're going to call:

 Thanks for Clearing That Up. (tm!)

I've been really slow in bringing about the first volume of Wonder Woman, mostly because that title has been mined pretty thoroughly by other sites.  But this is indeed worth noting because it is one of the most egregious examples of terrible cover dialogue ever.

First, the caption box is a flimsy and feeble attempt to cash in on the movie, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which was popular for some reason.  I was a child when the film came out and was expecting something a bit more Star Wars-y.  I can't imagine why they thought your average comic book reader back in the day would consider any comparison to that movie as something that would move copies of Wonder Woman off the racks.

And, as Robert pointed out, could Steve Trevor be more expository?  Yeah, we see that you're being kidnapped by a flying saucer.  Frankly, if Wonder Woman couldn't figure that out, she probably isn't going to be much help, anyway.

Thanks for Clearing That Up! (tm!)

Moving on to the Hostess ad!

So, the elevator cable breaks and, rather than deposit the elevator safely at the bottom of the shaft (heh... "shaft"), he decides to shove the thing right through the roof.  I'm sure the building's owner and his insurance company are happy that they don't have a quadruple death situation on their hands, but their gratitude has to be somewhat tempered by the large elevator-shaped hold in the roof.

But it was darn sporting of Superman to provide snacks during a rescue.  You don't see comic book heroes doing that sort of thing these days.

Great stuff, Robert!

See you Monday!

Thursday, May 28, 2015

To be fair, You Don't Really *Plan* on Having to Fight an Octopus

And we're back!

I'm hesitant to critique artwork, because I can't even draw stick figures.  But look at the expressions on the faces of Bulletman and Bulletgirl:

Don't they look really freaked out?  Maybe they weren't expecting the explosion.   They just have this, "AAAAAAH!  WE WEREN'T EXPECTING THIS!  KEEP IT TOGETHER!  KEEP IT TOGETHER!"

Anyway, check out Bulletgirl fighting an octopus:

and losing:

Okay, that's just hilarious on so many levels that I don't know where to begin.

In a different story, the villain is a hunchback.  I'm not sure that's politically correct, so we'll say that this is their choice of words, not mine:

But look at who the villain was the prior issue: 

I'm seeing not-so-thinly veiled hostility towards people who don't have perfectly straight spines here.  What's that all about?

Check out this guy:

He's a jolly sort, isn't he?  What's he called:

Yes.  The Black Rat.

I'm not sure why he picked that name, because there is virtually no connotation of the term "rat" that is flattering of which I'm aware.

Don't worry.  He'll be back.  You aren't really dead in comics unless...

Oh.  Nope.  A hand sticking out over the surface of the water means dead and gone.  The end.

See you tomorrow!

Friday, May 22, 2015

Stop Crying! It Spoils Your Complexion!

Dear Ones, I'm afraid there will be one more teensy break next week.  I've got two days of vacay left at work to use by the end of the month or I'll lose 'em, so I'm going to take a staycation and extend the holiday weekend.  So, we'll be back on Thursday, May 28th.  'Salright?

I love Boy Meets Girl Comics.  So rich in love, passion, and things I can make snarky comments about.  Here's more from issue #11!

Rich or poor would never influence my decision as to who I marry...

A woman just said she didn't care which guy had money?  I thought these were based on true stories!  Shenanigans!

And now for a CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)


This has been a CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

Check this guy out:

Bob was surprised that Nancy was able to resist his jaunty, "sweater pulled down over the shoulders" look.

Seriously, was that ever a thing?

And let's have one last CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)


This has been a CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

See you next Thursday!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

In Which Adam Unearths the Greatest Story in the History of Comic Books (this time for sure!)

From Boy Meets Girl #11, you see how they could make a story out of anything:

Okay... what that just said makes it an awesome story right there.

Yup.  That was it.  I didn't put every panel on there, but I can assure you that absolutely nothing else happened throughout that entire story that did not involve their domestic conflict of passive-aggressive olfactory assaults.  Nothing.

And that's awesome.  It read much better than Watchmen.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

In Which Batman Throws a Bat-Hissy

Batman #237 was fairly iconic for a couple of reasons.  First, there was this classic cover:

And.... yeah, it's pretty awesome.  But check it out inside the comic:

See?  The cover has roughly seven other items on it besides the artwork.  I understand the need for the title, the issue number and the price, but just look at how much more amazing that artwork is without all the jibber-jabber.  Comic book covers should have as little jibber-jabber as possible. And you may quote me on that.

This ish is also popular among comic nerds because it featured an appearance of the Rutland Halloween Parade: 

Where you'll see things like the X-Men's Havok and Captain America hanging out with Hawkman!

For thems what don't know, the Rutland Halloween Parade began back in 1960.  It had a heavy superhero theme and one of the early organizers, Tom Fagan, became friends with many comic creators and had a bunch of 'em stay at his house after he talked them into appearing in the parade in costume.  Other publishers besides DC would have issues spotlighting the parade and Fagan himself over the years, which made Tom Fagan pretty dang awesome.

Here we see "Thor" paying the DC Universe a visit, chatting it up with Denny O'Neil:

But then, Batman throws a hissy-fit and kind of ruins everything:

I'm not discounting the notion that Bats should be upset, but how do we feel about Bats losing his cool at all?  Denny O'Neil did some fine work, but Batman really took a testosterone loss when he fell in love with Talia.

And now for an installment of So ... THAT Happened!

So... THAT Happened! (tm!)

I mean , you can't fault Robin for using a disguise that works... but why did he bother tinting his legs all the way up to the old crotchal region?  And did he also tint the crotchal region?  Not to be all focused on Robin's crotchal region, but.... you know, some things lead to perfectly legitimate questions.  I guess when you are trained by Batman, you learn to just be through for the sake of being thorough.

That issue I was griping about yesterday?  Apparently it wasn't just me:

Wow!  Even a letter from Bob Rozakis!  Awesome!

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Batman's Rather Unhealthy Attachment with a Life-Sized Replica of a Woman. Not Joking.

So my last few issues of Batman have really not stood the test of time very well.  They appear to be trying really hard to distance themselves from the sci-fi silliness of the late 1950's and early 1960's by going in a direction that doesn't involve regular appearances by costumed villains and Random Ray Usage (tm!).  But different isn't necessarily better.

I give you Batman #236:

Yeah, I'm having a hard time imagining it as well, but the writers seem really determined to make handling regular criminals a challenge for Bats so we don't all fall asleep.

Who is Corrine, you ask?

Yes, Batman was talking to a mannequin.  At least, I think that's what he's saying.  I've never seen the word "mannikin" before.  I'm sure it's probably correct in some way, but I think this pretty much established how mannequins are spelled:

And frankly, if Bats is talking to mannequins, I think that's what he was kinda hoping would happen.  This version of Bats is a little too sensitive for my tastes.  I'd like to see more butt-kicking and name-taking.


Yeah!  Skeleton arm in a wedding dress!  That was a bright spot.  You don't see enough skeleton arms in wedding dresses.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Not everyone stays the same age like comic book characters, Bats!  Way harsh.  We all tend to age and change over a thirty year period.  Jerk.

Did Batman just break the fourth wall?  He totally did!  You don't expect that from Batman, but there it was.

Eeesh.  Let's finish with this Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

Because... hippies.

See you tomorrow!

Monday, May 18, 2015

With Apologies

Sorry, folks... I know I said there would be a new post today, but Oklahoma got hit hard this week and there were technical difficulties a'plenty.  We'll be back tomorrow!

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Not a Lot Under the Hood

Dear Ones, I'll be taking a brief break until Monday, May 18th to take care o'business and whatnot.  It's not as long as it sounds... really, I'm just going to be gone tomorrow and next week.  So, amuse yourselves and I will look forward to seeing you then.

But before I fade mysteriously into the shadows, let's take a look at Cat-Man Comics perennial backup feature, the Hood.

Yeah.  That's him.

Now take a look at these guys he's fighting, the Yellow Horde.

Look again:

Look familiar?

Let me help you out a bit:

Yup.  Marvel's A.I.M. sure does bear a striking resemblance to the Yellow Horde from decades earlier.  Same practically-all-yellow uniforms and unweildy headgear.  I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but it sure is a coinkydink.

The Hood was pretty unremarkable, but it didn't take much to hold onto a backup feature in Cat-Man Comics.  I mean, if you were willing to part with your dime to read about Cat-Man and his sidekick "Kitten," your standards were probably fairly low to begin with.

But he did have this moment that is well worth noting.

It's an old gag that a bad guy will empty his gun and then, out of sheer frustration, throw it at the hero.  Obviously, this is a desperate, ineffective thing...

... unless you do it to the Hood. 


The Hood's real name was Craig Williams and I'm not sure he had any powers.  Everything I found about him on the Google repeatedly says, "he has no superpowers."


... I have no answer for that.

See you on the 18th!  Have a good week!