Thursday, January 29, 2015

Batman and Robin had a Gorilla Foe and I Wasn't Advised????

Dear Ones, I'm afraid I'll be out of pocket on Friday, so today is the last post this week.  I'll see you Monday, okay?

Meanwhile, let's take a look at a few random things because I've had that kind of day:

The Mirror Man is one of Batman's most fantastic foes?  I mean, I've never heard of "Gorilla Boss" either, but I believe he's fantastic because... well, gorillas.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the Joker looks like a bobblehead and I'm not sure why they felt obliged to put "Human" in front of Firefly's name.  Maybe he's trying to get in on that whole "Human Fly" name that seems to pop up every so often.

Check this out:

My grandmother had one of these, and I will tell you that it was awesome.  I wish I had it, because it was so dang convenient.  It had a hammer and even an eyeglass screwdriver.  And that thing was solid construction.  But I had no idea it had been around for so long.  It was just one of those things you find at your grandmother's house, you know?

Now, I found nothing about this:

Philco made televisions, but I'm coming up empty on the whole "television bank" thing.  I imagine it just showed an image... but considering how much a quarter was worth back in the day, that sounds pretty steep.  Does anyone know anything about this?

Tired.  Seriously tired.  See you Monday!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Well, Of COURSE They Get Along... They're MARRIED!

Hey!  Let's check out Boy Meets Girl #7!

"All Kisses Aren't Love" is a title that caused me to pause for a second.  With a title like that, this comic could go to a very dark "50 Shades of Gray" kind of place.  Hi, Googlers!

Anyway, Phil is in love with Ann.

Is it my lemon yellow sweater-vest?  I *knew* I shouldn't have worn my lemon yellow sweater-vest!

Oh, Ann... now you're just being coy.

Is it because he's got money to burn and drives a big car?

I think you answered your own question there, Phil.

Man, if I ever make a CMNS T-Shirt, it is so going to have that panel on it.  "Well, of course they get along... They're married!"

But Phil is far too emotionally stable and reliable for Ann, so Don it is!

Come on, Ann!  Perhaps you've forgotten that I'm rich and drive a fancy car?

Don't worry about it, Faye!  Ann was very uncooperative!

WHAT?  Ann, need I remind you that Don is rich and drives a fancy car?

I'm not sure why Don gets a pass there, but apparently... well, rich handsome guys who drive fancy cars can do whatever they want.

Why... that conceited!  I'll only go out with him a few more times, but he'd better either straighten up or buy me something pretty!

Again, with the use of the term, "make love."  Readers have explained to me that it didn't mean then what it means now, but boy does that look raunchy now!

Okay, so now FAYE gets a pass for trying to seduce Phil?  These people need serious therapy.

 I got here as soon as my lemon yellow sweater-vest dried, Ann!

Now that I notice it, Ann is wearing that same red dress she wore in the intro.  Are these uniforms or something?

Anyway, Ann has finally grown up a bit and decided Phil is a catch:

I don't really need my glasses!  I need my SHOTGUN!  You kissed her, you marry her!

And the bride wore a red dress with white trim, whilst the groom wore a lemon yellow sweater-vest...

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The Robin and Ant-Man Team-Up! Seriously!

Batman #156 gives us our first look at Ant-Man!

Yup.  And nope.

See?  Did I lie?

Look familiar?  Are those powers familiar?  They even had him wearing red like the Marvel Comics character we all know and... well, love may be too strong of a word, but we'll see how the movie goes.  And yes, this came out in the June 1963 issue, almost a year after Henry Pym became Ant-Man (the one we've heard of) in the September 1962 issue of Tales to Astonish.  Robin, I think Marvel Comics's Legal Department is on line one.

Check out the Gorilla Gang!

If ever a B-grade group of crooks needed a revival, I'd say it's the Gorilla Gang.  Because.... well, GORILLAS!

This got me to thinking:

Okay, first.... cool it with the tears, Robin.  You're better than that.

Also, what do they call each other, really?  I mean, what's the default name they have for each other?  I would think they'd call each other "Bruce" and "Dick" unless they were in costume, but here's Robin talking to Bruce (who isn't even wearing the costume) and calling him "Batman."  I don't know why, but that whole panel is just cringe-worthy to me.  (A) Dick is crying and (B) Dick calling Bruce "Batman" when it isn't necessary seems dang awkward to me.  And seriously, Dick... stop crying.  Yeesh!

I'm overthinking it.  Give me Batman and the Bat-Hound fighting the Gorilla Gang!


See you tomorrow!

Monday, January 26, 2015

Flies and Cats... Because There Aren't Any More Nazis to Fight

We're starting the week off with Golden Age Captain America #60, and it ain't pretty.  The war is still over and our heroes are left fighting....

... well, guys like this:

And it's not bad enough that Cap has to fight this guy.  He has to actually have some difficulty with this guy or we've got no story at all.

Hmmmm... you know, if you can take a clonking from the other three discs, he'd be ripe for swatting.

Yes, Captain America is getting schooled by a guy who is putting a suction cup in his face.  Do you remember when Cap used to fight entire divisions of trained Nazi soldiers by himself?  Because I'm having a hard time remembering that right about now.

Oh, man... that did not just happen.

Yeah... let's go with "ironic."  That's a nice way of describing it.

And if the name sounds familiar, it's because we covered an unrelated guy going by the same name a couple of years back.

Is the Human Torch faring any better?

Hey, there was a hero called "Catman" or "Cat-Man" owned by another company (and of course, there would later be one in DC).  We've taken a look at him in years past.  In fact, there was more than one

So how did this one stack up?

Hmmmm... he gets points for having sharp claws, but that's way overshadowed by the "meee-oww."

And now that I look at it, he strongly resembles Wildcat from DC.  The funny-book makers really took creative liberties when it came to "borrowing" ideas from each other, didn't they?

See you tomorrow!

Friday, January 23, 2015

Aye Aye, Batman!

Check out this cover!:

Is Batman totally laughing there?  I think he can see the creature's junk through... all that around the old crotchal region.

Check out the next issue:

You don't see a lot of the Bat-Boat... or "Batman Boat," as the case may be.  I think I've seen it more in the Adam West Batman tv series than I've seen it in comics.  And it seems like the "Bat-Torpedoes" would be the worst possible way to travel, but it's not like I have any better ideas... although I would think that a smaller speedboat might be the way to go.

Hey!  Random Sucker Punch! (tm!)

Take us into the weekend, Bruce!

Hmmmmm.... well, let's turn it over to the CMNS Dancers! 

See you Monday!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

In Which I Cannot Ignore the Name, "Dick Burns"

There's no avoiding these gems from Boy Meets Girl #6.

First, I find it absolutely hilarious that the women are wearing glasses that would contain the optic blasts of Cyclops from the X-Men.

Secondly, the whole idea of this is bizarre.  Romance comics have already determined that heavy girls don't deserve love, and we're now going to narrow the field further by saying that small-breasted women don't get the men, either.  Because there's only one type of woman that all men find attractive, right?  Come to think of it, if my picture was being used to send this message to women, I'd probably want to hide my face behind sunglasses as well.

"Dick" was a pretty common name back in the day, so you're just going to have to take my word for it that I don't list every opportunity to make a joke out of the double-meaning of the name.

That being said, there are some things that I simply cannot resist, and this was one of them.

Dick burns would put a look in your eyes, but I'd hardly call it a "sparkle!"

Thank you for letting me get that out of my system.

Yeah, the honeymoon is over when you're letting your wife light her own 'gerts and crack open her own cans of beer.  It's just how relationships work.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

In Which Batman and Robin Both Kiss... But Not Each Other.

As I peruse these borrowed Silver Age Batman titles, I'm wondering where it'll go from here.  I mean, here's a panel from Batman #151:

Yes, that's Batman and Robin fighting a gigantic porcupine, rabbit and lamb.  Which, of course, is awesome.

Then the next issue:

I'm not 100% sure what that was supposed to be, but he looks happy.

Then, around issue #153, things go off the rails.  Of course, it begins with oversized props in a store:

Whoever makes oversized props in Gotham has one heck of a business going.  Anyway, one thing leads to another and we have this:

Yeah, it's electric Batman and Batwoman fighting a... well, again, I'm not sure what that thing is.

Then, it gets gross:

Oh, ick.  I'm not paying my pocket change to watch Batman make out with Batwoman.  That's like watching your parents kiss.  Ew.  Just all kinds of ew.

Then, more ... whatever these things are:

It's like I'm reading a Dr. Seuss book, I swear.

Anyway, things then go horribly wrong again:


Kissing in a romance comic is one thing, but I'll be danged if I sit here and watch romance creep into my super-hero comics!  That's just wrong.

I'm not sure if I'm overloaded on gigantic props, random alien creatures or (shudder) seeing my heroes kissing.  It's probably all three.

Actually, if I remember correctly (which is never a given these days), I think that this story was part of the Batman... from the 40s to the 70s hardcover that I treasured so much as a child.  The kissing is even more disturbing in full-color.

See you tomorrow!