Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Flash Lightning and the Professor Who Didn't Grasp the Concept of Overexposure to Radiation

Because you couldn't possibly care less about him, let's take a moment to check out "Flash" Lightning!  Yes, only "Flash" is in quotes sometimes.  The name Lightning is never in quotes.  So, I guess the character comes from the Lightning family.  I get a fruitcake from the Lightnings every holiday season.  The Lightnings are good people.

Anyway, he started out in Sure-Fire Comics #1, but it was later re-named to Lightning Comics in issue 4 because... get this... he was so popular.  I'm not sure that's really true, but there it is.  Anyway, this is from Lightning Comics #5, which has a brief retelling of the origin:

I'm not sure why the Old Man of the Pyramid gave Flash his powers.  Maybe Flash was the only person willing to wear that outfit.  Anyhoo, when a guy gives you powers, he's got carte blanche to bark orders at you, and this guy apparently does just that.  He even has Flash calling him, "Sire."

So, the "terrible evil" is a professor who decides to wear a mummy costume.  That's what constitutes a "terrible evil" in Lighting Comics:

He covered himself in radium paint?  Heck, this guy is problem that will eventually solve itself if you can wait long enough for radiation poisoning to do him in.  I'm not sure how painted bandages protect a guy "from all common weapons," but he's willing to wear radioactive cloth all over his body and I'm not, so I guess I'll just shut my big mouth.

He's totally dry-humping that poor woman.  He does border on totally evil.

Hey, it's time for an installment of Well... Touche! (tm!)

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

And this ends exactly as anyone would have predicted:

Is there a cartoon mummy in existence that wasn't simply unraveled?  That's kind of the "go-to" trope for mummy disposal.

Flash was later re-named "Lash" Lightning because of the Flash speedster (to say nothing of Flash Gordon).  But this character would show up decades later in the awesome Project Superpowers series, so I guess I can only mock him so much.  Then again, being part of Project Superpowers didn't save the Fighting Yank from CMNS, so I'll just let this play itself out.

See you tomorrow!


Gene Phillips said...

I like to think that the hero was renamed because someone realized that two-thirds of his name sounded like "flashlight."

Adam Barnett said...

HA! I missed that one. Good point!