Monday, December 18, 2006

My Super-Villain Origin

Only slightly off-topic here, but I've developed a new style of villainy and (a) I wanted to get credit for it and (b) I think it's funny.

Papa John's, you've made me cool my heels in your lobby waiting on my order for the last time. The next time you tell me I'm going to have to wait because you are taking twice as long as you had estimated, I'm telling you my name is "Domino Van Pizzahut." Try shouting that one when my order comes up! Next time, have the order ready when you promise you will, and we can avoid that unpleasantness entirely. Otherwise I want to hear you shout, "ATTENTION! DOMINO VAN PIZZAHUT, YOUR ORDER IS READY!" to a lobby full of cranky pizza-seekers.

This tickles me so much I'm going to do it any time someone takes my name. If I'm going to Bonefish Grill, I'm making the reservation under the name, "Ed Lobster." Get it? The possibilities are endless.

My Beloved thinks they'll spit in my food, but I don't think so.


SallyP said...

I've said it before, but it bears repeating. Villains get the best lines.

De said...

Next time you go to a restaurant with your missus, say your last is Balls that you're a party of two.