Monday, August 30, 2010

In Which We List Who Experiments on Animals Monday!

If there's one lesson we should be taking away from the Silver Age, it's that trying to achieve scientific advancements only leads to trouble. The source of nearly all tragedies usually involves some form of scientific exploration or (most likely) some experiment. With that, I give you Detective Comics #319:

What? A device that can heal scars and renew skin? Well, we can't have that! FOOPH!

And that's a great sound effect: FOOPH! I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through the day without saying it out loud.

Anyway, the well-meaning doctor is screwed, because that's always the case:

I think we can all agree that I'm no artist, but doesn't everyone seem just a bit amused by what happened to this poor guy? I mean, I'm not even sure how he's breathing, and they're all kind of smirking, especially the monkey:

Although considering the monkey was the animal getting experimented on, you can see why he might take a bit of perverse joy in what happened. Hey, just for fun, let's educate ourselves with others who do animal testing these days:

Arm & Hammer (Church & Dwight), P.O. Box 1625, Horsham, PA 19044-6625; 609-683-5900; 800-524-1328;

Bic Corporation has a history, but has reportedly suspended their testing and I hope they continue to do so, 1 Bic Way, Ste.1, Shelton, CT 06484; 203-783-2000;

Church & Dwight (Aim, Arm & Hammer, Arrid, Brillo, Close-up, Kaboom, Lady's Choice, Mentadent, Nair, Orange Glo International, Oxi Clean, Pearl Drops), P.O. Box 1625, Horsham, PA 19044-6625; 609-683-5900; 800-524-1328;

Clairol (Aussie, Daily Defense, Herbal Essences, Infusium 23, Procter & Gamble), 1 Blachley Rd., Stamford, CT 06922; 800-252-4765;

Clorox (ArmorAll, Formula 409, Fresh Step, Glad, Liquid Plumber, Pine-Sol, Soft Scrub, S.O.S., Tilex), 1221 Broadway, Oakland, CA 94612; 510-271-7000; 800-227-1860;

Dial Corporation (Dry Idea, Purex, Renuzit, Right Guard, Soft & Dri), 15101 N. Scottsdale Rd., Ste. 5028, Scottsdale, AZ 85254-2199; 800-528-0849;

Johnson & Johnson (Aveeno, Clean & Clear, Listerine, Lubriderm, Neutrogena, Rembrandt, ROC), 1 Johnson & Johnson Plz., New Brunswick, NJ 08933; 732-524-0400; 800-526-3967;

L'Oréal (Biotherm, Cacharel, Garnier, Giorgio Armani, Helena Rubinstein, Lancôme,

Matrix Essentials, Maybelline, Ralph Lauren Fragrances, Redken, Soft Sheen, Vichy), 575 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10017; 212-818-1500;

Max Factor (Procter & Gamble), 1 Procter & Gamble Plz., Cincinnati, OH 45202; 513-983-1100; 800-543-1745;

Mead, 10 W. Second St., #1, Dayton, OH 45402; 937-495-6323;

Melaleuca, 3910 S. Yellowstone Hwy., Idaho Falls, ID 83402-6003; 208-522-0700;

New Dana Perfumes, 470 Oakhill Rd., Crestwood Industrial Park, Mountaintop, PA 18707; 800-822-8547

Olay (Procter & Gamble), P.O. Box 599, Cincinnati, OH 45201; 800-543-1745;

Pantene (Procter & Gamble), 1 Procter & Gamble Plz., Cincinnati, OH 45202; 800-945-7768;

Physique (Procter & Gamble), 1 Procter & Gamble Plz., Cincinnati, OH 45202; 800-214-8957;

Ponds (Unilever), 800 Sylvan Ave., Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632; 800-909-9493;

Procter & Gamble Co. (Clairol, Crest, Gillette, Giorgio, Iams, Max Factor, Physique, Tide), 1 Procter & Gamble Plz., Cincinnati, OH 45202; 513-983-1100; 800-543-1745;

Reckitt Benckiser (Easy Off, Lysol, Mop & Glo, Old English, Resolve, Spray 'N Wash, Veet, Woolite), 399 Interpace Pkwy., Parsippany, NJ 07054; 973-633-3600; 800-333-3899;

Shiseido Cosmetics, 5-5, Ginza 7-chome, Chuo-k, Tokyo, 104-0061, Japan; 212-805-2300;

Schering-Plough (Bain de Soleil, Coppertone, Dr. Scholl's), 2000 Galloping Hill Rd., Kenilworth, NJ 07033-0530; 800-842-4090;

S.C. Johnson (Drano, Edge, Fantastik, Glade, OFF!, Oust, Pledge, Scrubbing Bubbles, Shout, Skintimate, Windex, Ziploc), 1525 Howe St., Racine, WI 53403; 800-494-4855;

Suave (Unilever), 800 Sylvan Ave., Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632; 212-888-1260; 800-782-8301;

Unilever (Axe, Dove, Lever Bros., Suave, Sunsilk), 800 Sylvan Ave., Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632; 212-888-1260; 800-598-1223;

Vicks (Procter & Gamble), 1 Procter & Gamble Plz., Cincinnati, OH 45202; 513-983-1100; 800-543-1745;

and, of course, Iams the dog food company, for funding the mistreatment of dogs, cats, and other animals in the name of research. Screw you, Iams.

So, print the list and shop accordingly! Hitting these jerks in the wallet is the only thing they understand.

Yeah, I was in a mood. Animal abuse pisses me off.

I'd be surprised if an artist didn't develop Dr. No-Face. I'm always amazed at the intricacy of some characters and can imagine an artist taking a stiff drink before getting to work, but you don't even have to draw facial expressions with this guy.

Hey, who do you think is the worst character to have to draw over and over? I'm betting it was the Jack of Hearts:

See? If you had to draw the Jack of Hearts or Dr. No-Face a hundred times per issue, you'd go for the one where you didn't even have to draw ears.

I'm Batman. I am driven by my obsession for justice. I cling to the shadows and...

well, apparently, I like big-ass monuments to myself the size of Mount Rushmore.

Casey the Cop was the worst cop ever:

I don't care if I'm running a shooting range, if a cop sees someone entering my establishment with a firearm and suspicious intentions, I'd appreciate a little assistance before things start happening.

See you tomorrow!


Aaron Carine said...

That was one exhaustive list.

Anonymous said...

what the f**k was with Jack of hearts' costume? me thinks it belongs in the costume hall of shame.
seriously, the colors and such made it look like somebody threw up on him. He isn't going to win any ladies' hearts for sure.

MarvelX42 said...

So...who is this Dr. Paul Dent? Is he anyone we would know nowadays? Did he become a villian? What? I MUST KNOW!


Adam Barnett said...

Based on Dr. No-Face and Two-Face, I think it's a safe bet that you are going to suffer some disfigurement if you live in Gotham.

Tamfang said...

Is it the residence or the surname?

About ten years ago in Santa Clara, some young genius went to a gun shop / target range, rented a gun and tried to rob the place. He herded the employees outside, announcing a plan to kill them in the alley (if memory serves), but one of them pulled a concealed weapon and killed him.

MarvelX42 said...

From Wiki:

The Question's mask is made from Pseudoderm, a substance made by Doctor Aristotle Rodor. According to the revamps of 52, this substance was developed using technology lifted from an old Batman foe named Bart Magan (Dr. No Face) and Gingold Extract, a fruit derivative associated with the Elongated Man. The Question's series by Denny O'Neil presented Pseudoderm as Rodor's attempt to create an artificial skin for humanitarian purposes.

Johnny said...

who sticks up an athletics club?

Anonymous said...

Maybe he just went into a random place. lol

Brigadier Ketchup said...

How has no one mentioned (by name) the BATMAN-FACE MONUMENT?? It looks to have been carved on the side of some random mountain in the middle of nowhere (oh, wait, this is "Mt. Gotham". wtf?). It's also interesting to note that while we can see where Batman and Robin tied their ropes to (although I'm not sure if they could successfully leap through the air that way. I think they'd more likely fall flat into the rock) ...what did this Doctor guy tie his ropes to??