Wednesday, February 10, 2010

One Pazzazzay Package Wednesday!

Did I mention that Bob Haney is all kinds of awesome? From World's Finest #217:

I don't think I'd measure up very well in this kind of comparison. This is just asking for a poor self-image. I'd think this would more likely appear in one of those silly women's magazines with "How Does Your Man Stack Up to Superman or Batman? Not Very Well, Does He? Use the Results of This Quiz to Emotionally Cripple Him! He Deserves It Because He Has A Penis!"

Anyway, Metamorpho appears in this ish, and Metamorpho is awesome because he was the first person to turn down membership in the Justice League, and never thought twice about telling Superman to get over himself:

Super Freak! Super Freak! He's Super Freakayyyy!

He also shows up Batman in this issue, which uncharacteristically annoys Bruce to no end:

You remember yesterday how I was talking about character continuity and how Bob Haney just didn't seem to care about it? This is the sort of thing I was talking about.

Now, mark how pouty both Supes and Bats have been up to this point. Got it set in your melon? Good.

Now, take this in:

Okay, obviously this is a ruse, and I get that. But look at Batman's private thoughts as he fights 'Mo:

You see what I mean? Even if he's faking (which Bats later says he is), you can't deny that his thoughts are more than a little vicious and that isn't explained away by a simple, "Oh, we were just funnin' with ya!"

Not to mention that whole, "Batman swore to never fire a gun" thing apparently doesn't apply to jet cannons, or atomic tanks:

I don't think Bob Haney ever read a Batman comic in his life before he wrote these stories. I really don't. I suppose one could say the same thing about Superman, but I've always thought Supes was a bit of a jackass, so I think Bob just had the guts to portray DC's golden goose in a way no one else up to that point had the nerve.

So, we explain everything away, and it's all good:

Except, of course, the sneaky plan didn't come about until after Superman had been all "screw you guys, I'm going home" and Batman had pitched his little fit about not getting medals like 'Mo, so that hackneyed plot device did absolutely nothing to repair that damage. But Bob Haney doesn't care, and he suggests you don't care, either.

Bob Haney. He cares not for your decades of character development. And what's more, you can't make him care. Bob Haney: Badass.


The One True GL said...

Typical Supes...

That camera man is pretty brave with Supes having super-hearing and all...

I'm glad you mentioned the fact that Metamorpho turned down league membership and the league were like, "What??!" No-one seems to acknowledge that fact. Metamorpho (or Freak) is in my current dream JLA roster, btw. So, this is particularly sweet for me...

Even in later ages, Metamorpho has a knack for Batman in his place with a sarcastic quip. Always good stuff.

If GL rings were real, Bob Haney deserved one. That would be entertaining. Of course, you'd also give GL rings to "continuity master" writers of his age and watch the hilarity ensue...

LissBirds said...

Wow, that is just cold. I have new-found respect for Metamorpho for putting up with that.

"Not to mention that whole, "Batman swore to never fire a gun" thing apparently doesn't apply to jet cannons, or atomic tanks:"


Paul D Brazill said...

Just given you an award.

La Belle Esplanade said...

Make mine Haney!

Allergy said...

Not only is he super freakay, he's also pazzazzy! Not sure what that means, but I think Snoop Dogg might have invented it.