Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Love! Love is Always the Answer! Thursday!

Yes, I know I promised we'd look more into the time-travel story, but I got bored and moved on.

Here's yet another reason why Superman is so lame:

Really, Clark? You found it necessary to explain to Batman that you had to sneak away to go change? You've been teaming up for over 50 issues now, I think he gets it. Were you afraid that in the heat of battle he was going to go, "WHAT THE-? I just left Clark Kent over there, and now Superman's here and.... oh, wait. NOW I remember. Silly me. Next time, WARN a fella why don't you?"

Enough of that. Let's watch Superman build a giant light bulb.

Most people would rather forget the Eclipso: The Darkness Within crossover event of the 1990's, but I thought it was awesome. And in E:TDW, we learned that there is a world of difference between sunlight and light that comes out of a light bulb, no matter how big a light bulb it is. So, this really shouldn't have done anything to the creature but make him say, "Sweet Nickelback, that's a big ass lightbulb!"

And while I'm on the subject, I think I've heard enough Nickelback to last me a lifetime. That has nothing to do with comics, but I just wanted to take the opportunity to say that.

Hey! Random Ray Usage! (tm!):

Can't get enough Random Ray Usage! (tm!)

And, now we're going to just give up on this story all together.

Wow, for a story about "Creatures of Darkness," this wasn't exactly ripped from the pages of Hellblazer, was it?I realize this was from a simpler time, but I hate it when love just solves everything. For example, I have been given no other flavor of ice cream but vanilla for more than six months. When I told Beloved I had hit the wall and would be buying another flavor, she told me that the reason I was burnt out on vanilla was because I "wasn't eating it right." Yes, that's exactly what she said. And she was serious. Love will never solve that kind of disagreement. Of course, love will help you get past it, but that isn't going to put anything but nasty plain vanilla ice cream in my bowl after dinner.

No, I would have preferred anything to love repelling the monsters, even that the monsters were fake or something. Yeah, I would have gone for the traditional Scooby-Doo ending over this. "Why, these hell spawn creatures were really just Farmer Picklewhacker wearing a velvet curtain and making loud noises using this modified duck call! You would have gotten away with it, too.... had it not been for us meddling super-heroes!"

Still no calls from Marvel, DC, Image, or Wildstorm asking me to work for them. Why do you suppose that is?

See you tomorrow!


De said...

Not "eating it right"? I'll be sure to say that to my daughter when she frowns at the Brussell sprouts.

The Fastest Centaur Alive said...

It's not even as strong as you make out. Love might be the answer, or the beast might have gotten bored!

Aurora Moon said...

I love how at the end, the guy's expression pretty much portrayed how you felt about this storyline. his expression almost accurately reflects this internet smiley: ¬__¬

Its like he was thinking: "Honey, as much as I love you, I have to say that's a crock full of bullshit. also, it doesn't make much sense!"

David said...

Actually, he's thinking, "Ah, my plan worked perfectly! No one suspects my remote-controlled monster was a front to convince Norah my love for her is real. Now she -- and her family's fortune -- are mine! Bwaahahahahaha!"

Adam, there's an easy solution to preserving your relationship; chocolate syrup.

RossS said...

@David: my thoughts exactly! Chocolate covers a multitude of sins..and vanilla ice cream. I'm pretty sure it would work on brussell sprouts too.