Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I'm a Cat! See the Ears? Purrrrr.....HISSSSSS! Tuesday!

Hey!  Let's confuse all the non-comic readers by talking about a guy who wore orange and called himself Cat-Man who wasn't the lame-Batman-villain-turned-awesome-by-hanging-out-with-Deadshot-in-the-Secret-Six-and-getting-a-large-quantity-of-Deadshot's-awesomeness-on-him guy:

What was with the 1940's and guys wearing short pants?  I'm not trying to get all Seduction of the Innocent on you, but come on!  Not only does that look guarantee non-comic geeks would make fun of you for reading it, but it has no practical application.  And did these guys shave their legs?  The older I get, the more disturbing this becomes. 

Meanwhile, check out the pitch on the inside cover:

Get that?  No expense has been spared!  

Okay, does anyone not understand that these are just drawings?  You could draw a picture of me taking a whiz off the Eiffel Tower, but that doesn't mean you have to buy me a ticket to Gay Pareeeeee!  What kind of expense are we talking about?

Okay, the rest of that was a micro-fiche, and I almost went blind trying to read it, so let's jump ahead to issue #4:

Okay, did everyone get that?  He got his powers by "constant association" with cats.

You know, because he was raised by them.  Like Tarzan was raised by apes, which made a lot more sense, but I'm not here to judge.

Although in applying the same logic, this means I'll be drinking out of the toilet bowl by noon tomorrow, because there are more dogs in my house than people.  I'm just saying.

And they ran with this notion that you could physically become like a cat through some kind of osmosis:

Yup.  He can leap straight up like a cat.

I might have been willing to let that one slide, because he's arguably just mimicking what he saw cats do.

And then, as comics are want to do, they push me too far:

Okay, I don't care how much time he spent slapping around a catnip mouse with Fluffy and her pals, there is no way you're going to develop the ability to see in the dark.  It is simply not going to happen.

And then we go for the gusto:

Yes, he learned to leap large distances and land on his feet by association.

And then, like a cat, he learned to... punch people in the face.  Like a cat.

CAT-PUNCH!.... or something.

Okay, enough of this.  I'll see you tomorrow!


Britt Reid said...

Cat-Man also picked up the "nine lives" concept attributed to cats.
It became an ongoing motif for several issues that Cat-Man would be killed, then come back from the dead, as good as new, to avenge himself.
Someone figured out you could only do it eight times, and the whole shtick was dropped.

Flossin said...

Why is he saying "WHAT THE!" after hitting the guy in the face in that last panel??

The Fastest Centaur Alive said...

Adam, you've obviously never been woken by your cat swatting you on the nose.

Yael said...

So, isn't this the same premise as what's-his-name, Black Condor - who could fly because he was raised by birds?

Scott said...

I'm assuming that in the other 90% of the unposted panels, Cat-Man was shown curled up asleep on the couch.