Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Character Hall of Fame - Stilt-Man
Yeah, I said it! Stilt-Man rocks!
Okay, so he's not much of a threat. I mean, he's way up there and I doubt he can see you that well on the ground, so you can probably dodge him pretty easily.
And true, Daredevil figured out a pretty significant weakness pretty early in his career: He keeps his balance via a gyroscope located on his back. One smack of the gyroscope, and anything this side of a strong breeze can topple him.
And yes, his gimmick of doing high-rise robberies strains your willing suspension of disbelief. I mean, if you look out your window and see a guy holding a gun, all you have to do is run out of the room. It's not like he can follow you. He's on stilts!
But he was fun, in a pitiful sort of way. And never really seemed to understand how cumbersome, limited and ineffectual he was. He was like a personification of the Bush Administration, only he made it work for him.
Yeah, I don't care. I liked Stilt-Man! Get yer own blog, haters!
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He's got the Z-Ray? Awesome! That's like two better than X-Rays! He's sure to be master of the world now.
I've always wondered about the little people in the streets below Stilt-Man as he strode through a city chasing Daredevil. Even as a kid.
But, he was awesome when I was a kid, so: To hell with them!
Excerpts from *my* re-vamp of Stilt-Man:
Time for the High-Altitude Mosey!
HAHAHAAA! Fools! Bow before my Scurrilous Skip!
Lick *THIS* boot, Cur!
Behold! The Adamantium Jump Rope!
The Corn of Destiny!
I have a license from the Ministry to Silly Walk ALL OVER YOUR FACE!!
Now, watch in fear as I use my ULTIMATE STEP!!!
... then he'd do one of those breakdance spin on your back, legs flail around things. And buildings would suffer.
(I really should write a Stilt-Man comic...)
(Or stop thinking about him.)
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