Friday, January 13, 2017

Gangway for Bulletboy! Or Young Bulletman! Or Something!

And we're back!  Had the big work project pop up again.  I'll probably have another day or three down the road where I'm 100% focused on that (well, that and catching up on Orange is the New Black because priorities, right?), but for now let's look at Master Comics #48:

I'm skipping the CMJ story because there wasn't much there.  I thought by the look of the cover that he was about to beat up the Golden Age Sandman, but that didn't happen at all.

Hey!  Who's this guy?

Well, we know he loves his RC Cola, but what else?  Well, apparently Johnny Mack Brown was a big shot college football star before heading to the bright, cruel lights of Hollywood when someone in the biz saw him on a Wheaties box.  He had appeared in more than 160 movies over a 40 year career and lived to be 70 years old.  He also had a happy marriage of 48 years (until his death), so it sounds like Johnny Mack did all right for himself.

Not like this kid...

Hoo-boy.  You know what's coming.

Okay, the kid bought a Bulletman suit and now thinks he had Bulletman's powers.  This is the kind of kid you shouldn't let read comics.

Anyway, Jim and Susan totally enable this dangerous behavior:

I mean, the kid apparently makes your clothes change color when he hits you, but I don't think that would even land you a slot in the Legion of Substitute Heroes.

Yeah, you could just let the kid find out he's way out of his depth before he gets seriously hurt, but I guess this is another way to go.

Susan, I wish I could say I expected better of you but I really didn't.

Tod Drake?  You don't think he's any relation to Tim Drake?  Because that would be strangely awesome.

You know.... 

... this Tim Drake?

Anyway, the kid apparently at least has enough sense to know he can't fly (which to me would be a big part of having Bulletman's powers, but I don't think logic is this kid's strong suit), so he hops on his bike to go chase armed criminals...

.... and you'd think that Jim and Susan would think the joke had gone on long enough and put a stop to this behavior before the kid learns what getting shot by a handgun feels like, but ...

... he actually approves.

Again... this is a perfect spot to tell the kid to stop this self-destructive behavior before he gets himself killed.

But apparently not according to Bulletman:

The kid can't even keep track of his name and they let him go charging into a room full of gangsters.  I'm about to call Child Protective Services on someone.

See?  It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Actually, Jim, I think you waited a little too long.  At least that's what I'm telling the police.

Oh, man.... you don't think they're going to bring this kid back for more, do you?  It's not like they did anything to discourage him.  Heck, they're helping him.  Once the kid meets Bulletdog, they're going to have a heck of a time getting him to hang up his fake helmet. 

Yeesh!  See you soon!


George Chambers said...

Jim and Susan eventually got married and had kids, but Child Protective Services took them away, citing some nonsense about 'reckless endangerment'...

Gummboote said...

Other than Young Bulletman here, I can't think of a superhero who rides a bicycle. Has there really never been one?

Smurfswacker said...

Wasn't there some hero character in ads for Royal rubber bicycle tires? I seem to recall he rode a bike but I don't remember enough about him to find details online.

Adam Barnett said...

My only contribution to that is I think the old Spider-Woman villain Turner D. Century rode one of those bicycles that had the huge front wheel. But heroes? I'm drawing a blank.

cartoonjoe said...

Unless you count "Bicycle Repair Man" from MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS..