Friday, January 25, 2013

Superman is a Schmuck, Part 1798

And as we head into the weekend, let's check out more good times courtesy of contributor Robert Gillis!

From Action Comics #385.  Superman has many amazing powers, but apparently super common sense ain't one of 'em.  I mean, there's a sign right there.  I don't care how big of an emergency this is, there's a sign right there saying "NO TOUCHIES!"

And of course, Supes does whatever Supes wants to do.  Because Supes don't listen so well when it comes to receiving instructions, even those designed to keep you from hurting yourself.


And while I realize I'm harping on this, there was a sign right there saying not to use the time bubble.  Heck, Supes probably put the time bubble there himself!

See, people like Supes are very gracious as long as they're above the rules that the rest of us have to follow, and then they fall apart when they run across a rule they can't get around.  

Superman is such a tool.  I really don't know why anyone over the age of 6 likes the character.

And let's add animal cruelty to his list, courtesy of Jimmy Olsen #4:

Let's follow that logic.

Problem: Animal is hungry.

Solution: Animal should be in a zoo.

Time frame for solution: The next time these guys "visit town."

Not that it's the sturdiest of cages, but the idea is to leave the cat imprisoned without food until these guys get around to shipping him to the zoo?


What a maroon.  I always cheer for Lex Luthor.  Always.

Thanks again, Robert!  See you guys Monday!


MarvelX42 said...

Supes coulda just flown really fast and travelled back in time couldn't he? I mean back in those days (and pretty much always) Supes could do juat about anything anytime he wanted. I mean one time he actually punhced reality so hard that he broke reality. Also yeah, that cage doesn't look very sturdy and he coulda just flown to the ocean in like half a second and gotten a huge ass fish and plopped it down in front of the cat. The thing that bothers me most about Superman is that....aside from being able to do practically that he is so fast and can move without breaking the sound barrier and can move so fast and stop on a dime. That is the real thing that bothers me. The Flash is sup;posed to have the whole speed thing. That is the whole point of the Flash. If Superman can do the Flash thing than what is the point of the Flash? I would still have a problem with it, but I wouldn't have such a HUGE problem with it if Supes could move really fast but couldn't stop on a dime like he can. If he ran the risk of the faster that he moved the more risk he ran of not being able to stop and smashing into things I would like that ALOT more if they insisted on him having the superspeed thing that is.

Anonymous said...

Good times! Yes, Superman could be a REAL tool in the silver age! More good stuff to come!

Gene Phillips said...

My guess is that the artist made the cage look rickety as a shorthand for showing that it was quickly cobbled together from local materials. But you're right, it's kind of funny.

The zoo thing didn't bother me as it did you. I figure that the two dudes are likely to keep the cat fed until they collect $$$$ from the zoo-- though I have my doubts as to whether it was ever THAT easy just to ship any old animal to any zoo. I imagine it's a complicated affair. But it was a quick-and-dirty way of solving the problem, so that's the way it was solved.

Aaron Carine said...

Although I read the story very long ago, I remember there was some explanation as to why Superman couldn't do his fly-fast-break-time-barrier thing. Adam, can you help us out?

Kid said...

What I want to know is this: if the time bubble was damaged the last time the Legion paid Supes a visit, then how did they get back to the 30th century? Build another time bubble in the fortress? If so, then why couldn't Superman?

I do a feature from time to time over on my own blog ( - excuse the plug), called 'Loopy Lapses In Logic, which deals with this sort of thing.

Buzz said...

You also gotta love how high Supes throws that cat. Even for a cat, that has to be a back breaking fall.

Adam Barnett said...

Aaron, I'm drawing a blank right now, but I'll be getting my hands on some Superman Silver Age books soon, so I'll see what unfolds!