Yeah, Rick.... it doesn't matter how long you hang out with the guys - you have no super powers! You don't catch super-powers through proximity as if it were cooties or something. If you want to live in a world where more people have superhuman abilities than have herpes, you should see if you can get on Heroes.
But Rick isn't alone. The other guys are also interested in seeing who the dominant male really is:
Geez, guys - whip 'em out and measure 'em already. It should be noted that this is the one and only time anyone refers to Hawkeye as "powerful," which he clearly isn't. And it took Hawkeye himself. At least he has enough sense not to come right out and say it.
But he's thinking it, and Cap picks up on it.
Yeah, Hawkeye! When you've had the weeks of experience Cap has had being an Avenger, you can step up. So come check with me when you've been an Avenger for.... about a month and a half.
*Sigh*.... I was hoping we wouldn't have to have sensitivity training, but now that Hawkeye has ruined it for everyone, I'll see everyone here next Saturday morning. Thanks a lot, douche.
Oh, and they fight a monster:
By itself, this is the funniest thing I read today. Hawkeye looks like Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes.
And, since she hasn't had anything to do all day, the Scarlet Witch.... gestures!:
I don't get what her mutant power is, and I don't think I'm smart enough to have anyone explain it to me.
But I love that last panel: "You know Cap, without his horns, that monster is a goner." "Tough luck for him! Forward, team!"
Egad! The mystery menace is actually the Mole Man!
Um, Cap? I'm really fast. I can jump right over these walls before they close and eviscerate the Mole Man with my super-speed fists!
No, Quicksilver! Stand really still so I can see what that menacing machine does!
Cap? I can shoot him from here! I've got arrows, you know.
Stand down, Hawkeye! Let's see what happens when he pulls that lever!
Cap? I can.... um, gesture or something.
Thanks, Scarlet Witch - but no one really understands your powers. However, you can stand here while I watch the Mole Man turn that machine on us.
Rabbits are where they are in the food chain because they employ this self-defense method of "stand really still and hope the predator doesn't notice you" all the time. For more on that, read Watership Down.
And when you're done, sell shoes in your spare time!
Yeah, I see a big demand for this: Buying shoes without trying them on first to see how they feel. How did this not catch on?
See you tomorrow!
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4 comments:
No wonder no one's buying the shoes! Look at the size comparison of that hand and those shoes. They're the size of my baby daughter's feet!
Oh Cap. You with your weeks and weeks of Avenger's experience. And the Scarlet Witch ALMOST makes me nostalgic for the Wasp. The Wasp didn't do much, but she was at least annoying. Wanda can stand there and GESTURE!
Who knew that Hawkeye could be even MORE obnoxious than Green Arrow?
I love that first Scarlet Witch panel. Let's have Hawkeye describe in detail what happened, instead of, you know, actually depicting it, like this was some kind of "comic" book or something!
Man, those rabbits in Watership Down actually kicked a lot of ass as I recall.
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