I had never considered running for any type of political office until this morning.
Beloved and I saw an ad for some guy touting his credentials and his bravery in standing up for the People of the Great State of Oklahoma. One of his acts of heroism? Legislation that provided tougher law enforcement measures regarding meth labs.
Don't take this the wrong way, but did he really have to fight anyone to get that passed? How ballsy is that, really? Was there some meth lab lobby putting the screws to him that I don't know about?
I'd like to be elected just to make these people earn it. You want Medals of Honor for passing measures that will fight illiteracy, prevent child abuse, and improve the quality of the educational system? You'd have to get past me. Not because I disagree with you, but because I think it'll mean a lot more if you have a nemesis. Then you could have ads that say, "I took on Adam Barnett to pass the Anti-Public Defecation Initiative. If Barnett had stopped me, people would be dropping a deuce right in front of your children! But I fought! For you!"
It would be a service to everyone, really.
From Avengers v1 #13:
Beware! They have the greatest powers known to man! Except the Wasp. She'll just kinda buzz around in your face and piss you off! But she hangs around some very tough people, so you can't swat at her or anything! You just have to sit there like a douche while this inch-tall winged lady buzzes around you! It's very, very annoying! Beware!
Stan Lee shows you can take the writer out of the romance comics....
From Avengers v1 #14:
She's having problems breathing! She may be having lung problems!
Why, yes! That's amazing! Are you a doctor, too?
Um... no, but I'm not a total moron, either.
Oh.... since you weren't a total moron, I naturally assumed you had to be a doctor. We doctors think people only fall into one of the two categories...
I keed! I keed! I tease because I love, Greg!
Having been fooled by the sweet-taste and Kool-Aid appearance of Tony Stark's untested anti-freeze pills, all the Avengers died and the series ended unexpectedly.
Tony Stark's other invention, the Stick-Your-Fingers-in-This Electrical Outlet, was also commercially unsuccessful.
(As a public service note: Dogs will drink anti-freeze if it's on your garage floor because it tastes sweet. This will fatally poison your dog, so never let them roam around in your garage. Don't stick your fingers in electrical outlets, either.)
Strong men should not be seen with tears in their eyes.... nor should they be letting a little woman whose main power is the ability to be killed with a rolled-up newspaper hang out with them.
Seriously, guys.... put on a dress!
A little bonus from Thunderbolts #54:
And I hope that you find your ability to hope. And I don't mean to rub it in that I have hope, which you do not, but I have hope that someday you will find it in you to hope again. Because life without hope must truly suck for you, but that's not something I would know, because I have hope. That one day you'll hope. I hope.
See you tomorrow!