Thursday, February 9, 2017

A Frozen Chef Salad and... Well, You'll Know it When You See It.

So, I opened the freezer at work wherest I keeps me afternoon burritos and found this:

Yes, someone froze a chef salad.  I tweeted it to Gordon Ramsey suggesting I found his next Masterchef.

Anyway, here's a bit from Superman Family #201 that... um... I just don't even know how things got to this point, so I'll just say this is contributor Robert Gillis's fault and leave it at that:

That's what happens when you forget the safe word.

Oh, did I type that?  I should hit delete.  Egad, we go down a randy road sometimes, don't we?  Thanks again, Robert!

See you soon!

Monday, February 6, 2017

Under the Radar

This week may be spotty at best, Dear Ones, but let's at least start it off right with a final look at Master Comics #50!

So, here's the Bulletman story where we see Bulletman take a stick of dynamite to the face:

It's actually amusing if you play the Looney Toons theme in your head while you look at it.  Anyway, here we see why Susan's career in the medical field never worked out:

Okay, if she can't tell the difference between "dazed" and "dead," I don't want anyone left in her care ever.  You'd be afraid to take a nap around the woman lest you wake up in a funeral home.

Anyway, she's not listening to Bulletman as per usual:

And then this happens:

So, Bulletman can take a stick of dynamite to the head and recover almost immediately.  But Susan?  One golf club to the head and she's out cold.  I'm not saying a golf club to the head wouldn't be unpleasant, mind you... but she clearly ain't no Bulletman.

Moving on to the previously-promised new hero, Radar.

Ugh.  I hate him already for nothing more than his name,.


Pep Pepper?  Okay, I'll give it to you that "Radar" is an improvement over his real name.


Oh, man... I want to see this guy get throat-punched so badly.

Oh, eesh.  Radar eyes?  Really?

You're overselling it, folks.  Radar Eyes is one of those powers that would be cool to have but boring to read about, second only to telepathy in sheer boredom factor.

See what I mean?

Okay... so are you not allowed to act as Radar if you're wearing plaid or something?  Or is the plain side of your coat some sort of signal that you're working, like the "on duty" light on a taxi?  What if you roll up the sleeves so that parts of both sides are exposed?  Do you have to pay for two tickets to see a movie?  This is really confounding me.

This is unintentionally hilarious:

Yes, tickling the dames with a mustache is a bona fide emergency.  If he tickles one of them with the mustache while wearing plaid, would it be cheating if he tickled the other wearing plain?

I am so done with this character but you know we'll see him again.

See you soon, hepcats!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

CAPT. MMMmmmmm.....

Yes, I know.  I've become the worst blogger ever.  It's probably my advanced years.  Be patient with an old man.

Anyway, it's time for the landmark issue #50 of Master Comics!

Hmmmm.... well, I've got to say out of the gate that I don't recall Captain Marvel making me any promises of a new hero.  And frankly, I wouldn't have been very excited about this guy under the best of circumstances.  But considering that Captain Marvel Jr. had carried the title, I don't think it's cool that they shoved him in the background on the 50th issue.  Some folks have no gratitude.

Anyway, here's an ad for Wheaties I saw inside:

I know they want me to think it's the muscular guy who ate the whole case of Wheaties, but I'm going to reserve my guess for a few hours and see which one of them spends the next 48 hours glued to the seat of a latrine.

Anyhoo, the CMJ story posed all kinds of interesting theological and philosophical questions.  My first question is whether Freddy's strategy here would work.  

Oh, he got hit by a bus.  Did I forget to tell you that?  Because that's rather important.  Freddy got hit by a bus.

Moving on, do you think this would work?

Not that I'm blaming Freddy for trying, because I'd sure give it a shot.  Heck, I'll probably try every magic word I can think of when I'm about to pass this mortal coil.

Although I nearly died back in '91 and I didn't try any magic words.  Heck, I even turned down the offer of the priest... although I told the nun I was totally down with her praying for me despite my non-Catholicism.  I probably need all the help I can get.

Anyway, I don't think it would work because the Marvels are different people than their counterparts.  If you doubt me, look at how Billy and Captain Marvel refer to each other.

But Freddy never got the word out, so he's a ghost:

Yes.  For the second time in two issues.

And apparently the religions that believe in purgatory got it right, because Freddy is still wandering the earth with people of all moral persuasions:

I'm perplexed CMJ is perplexed, considering we just went through the same thing last issue.

Because this story did not follow the fundamental Christian version of the afterlife, my parents would have pooped watermelons if they'd caught me reading it.

Geez... cops everywhere except when you need one.

Anyway, this happens:

And we learn that a ghost doesn't breathe in air, but he exhales.  Because, COMICS!

AN HOUR LATER Freddy is revived?  That guy in the movie Crank was  apparently way too worried.  Man, I'm going to put "no matter when or how I died, I want an Adrenalin injection" in my Advance Care Directive.

See you soon!

Friday, January 20, 2017

The Ghost of Captain Marvel Junior... Spooky!

Yeesh, it's been another week?  I tell you, I don't remember being this short on time until the last year or so.  I'm not sure what changed.  Maybe me... maybe I'm just getting older and it's taking me longer to get everything done.  The calendar has it's way with us all.

Granted, I have been enjoying the PS4 and Netflix subscription I got over the holidays, but I really don't think that's it.  Hey, do you come here to get a few laughs, or to judge me?  And by the way, if you have Netflix and haven't watched Marvel's Jessica Jones, you're missing out.  It's one of Beloved's favorites, and I think it's dang good... but it's not for the kiddies.

Anyway, let's look at Master Comics #49:

Dang it, Lex Luthor!  Quit using my blimp!

I don't see your name on it.

I'll fix that!

It turns out Dr. Sivana wants to mix things up by having his face caved in by CMJ's fists for a change, so he creates a smear campaign:

Now, most heroes would probably just shrug.  Well, the cool ones would.  Superman would probably lose his mind if people weren't kissing his cape every second of every day.  But CMJ is a younger person, so he's got that youthful insecurity thing going on:

Why didn't the magic lighting go off?

Again... why didn't the magic lightning go off?

Okay, it's supposed to go off every time the words are said, not just when CMJ wants the words to bring the lightning down.  Egad, they're getting a little cocky at Master Comics.

Hey!  Random Ray Usage! (tm!)

And like most Random Rays, this one totally works.  Although why Sivana would want to put himself in a position where CMJ can haunt him without Sivana's knowledge, I don't know.  Then again, I don't have the smarts to come up with a Random Ray in the first place.

CMJ tries the magic lightning to see if Freddy Freeman will suffer the effect of the ray.  Thusly:

Why did Freddy choose to tickle Sivana rather than just clonk him over the head?  Because, comics!

Freddy decided he'd rather be a powerful ghost than a person with a physical disability.  I'm not sure I like the message this story is sending.

Hey!  I see some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

Anyway, CMJ finally figures out that the way to solve the problem is to make it Sivana's problem.  Thusly:

Since spirits can touch each other, they can apparently beat on each other as well:

I'm a little confused as to how one can be intangible and feel pain, but comics!

Wait a minute.  All he had to do was grab the thing and hit the reverse button?  I guess the old "Wisdom of Solomon" was taking a backseat in CMJ's psyche that day.

Hold on... you'll join the thugs beating up on the police chief?  Why would you...

Okay.... you're beating up the thugs who are beating up on the police chief.  Because you said... you know what?  Never mind.

Well, at least they're honest that he's not gone for good.  That's a level of respect for a reader's intelligence you don't see a whole lot of in comics.

Well, sure... if you believe the liberal media!

See you soon!