Today, we introduce two new categories in CMNS. The first is "Unfortunate 90's Artwork" (tm!):
Isn't that painful? Believe it or not, that kind of painful scribbling was considered quite hot back in the 1990's. Reading a 1990's Marvel comic was often like reading a ancient Sanskrit document through a piece of jagged glass. Whenever we get a little condescending about the product put out in the decades before and since, I think a quick look at the 1990's will keep us humble, don't you?
So, this is why I will suffer through moments like this from World's Finest:
I'm sure that covers are a tricky business, but Batman's reaction here (a) doesn't take place in the story and (b) gives me the polar opposite reaction to the sense of urgency they're trying to convey. Allow me to demonstrate:
Superman: Get back, Batman! I can't stop it!
Batman: Let it come, Superman! I'm the one it's after!
Superman: Seriously? Okay, you're the brains of this team!
See? That would have been a very short story, but with long ramifications in the DC Universe. Frankly, I don't think anyone would have seen that coming.
I know.... Still no job offers from Marvel or DC. What is their problem?
I want to emphasize that (a) I understand some girls read comics and (b) some gay guys read comics. And you all are welcome here and loved as a fellow comic book fan. But, my admiration and respect for you notwithstanding, I must call this next category "UDN" or "Unfortunate Dude Nudity" (tm! times two!).
First, we nearly see Superman's butt:
And I've got to say, I have no interest in seeing the Last Asscrack of Krypton. But again, if that's your bag, I've got nothing but love for you.
But then we almost see Batman's junk:
Was it absolutely necessary that we get this little peep show? Are there no robes in the Fortress of Solitude or the Batcave? Shouldn't Alfred or those Kryptonian robots have long addressed this issue?
And I have to say, this is yet another jerk move from a guy who clearly doesn't understand what it's like to have physical needs:
So, it was convenient to deprive everyone of oxygen so he could make the change? The guy can move faster than the eye can follow and create an earthquake by stamping his foot, and the best thing he could come up with was to suffocate the hostages?
I can't believe anyone likes Superman. I really don't get it.
Ah, well. See you tomorrow!