I'm Not Sure I Want to Live in an Atmosphere Provided by Superman Friday!

I realize that writers just assume Superman can do anything, but even Bob Haney presses his luck:


and I'm not even going to point out how the contents of Superman's bloated lungs would barely be enough to inflate one of those jumpy castles you see at school carnivals, much less to "provide a new atmosphere."

I'm your biggest fan, Bob Haney.... but don't you test me.

You know how I'm always saying that a classic suit always makes for a bitchin' costume?


Okay, I still stand by that, the above exhibit notwithstanding, because imagine how much worse the Vulture would look in tights.

And I think the headgear makes him look like "Sam the Eagle" from the Muppets:


You see it. Don't act like you don't see it.

Worst. Bonus gift. Ever.:


Seriously? I buy some salve, and you're going to give me a picture? And of course, now I have to hang the picture somewhere because you don't want to hurt the kid's feelings the next time he comes around to sell you something. And rest assured, he will come back around, because you are clearly an easy mark.

You say you aren't lucky in love? Well, you're reading comics, so it's a natural assumption on my part. Perhaps you need to learn how to write a thrilling love letter:


or, as we would call it these days, "sexting." Get ready for the restraining order, kids!

See you Monday!