Thursday, March 25, 2010

Be Careful What You Ask For Thursday!

Well, I was going to launch into another equally lame character, but you just had to see Miss Muscles, didn't you?

No one was ever clear, at least in the comic themselves, as to the origins of Kid Muscles or Miss Muscles. Then again, how much do you need to know about someone whose big power is putting one unarmed man in an arm lock? :

And, like every good sidekick.... heck, every good woman, she would always drop what she was doing to support her man:

Despite their shared surname, I'm not at all convinced that Mr. Muscles and Miss Muscles had any kind of relationship. I mean, she wasn't Mrs. Muscles. And in the previous issue, she didn't appear in Mr. Muscles own stories at all - instead, she beat up two women in the gym who were jealous of her because she was dating a guy named "Twelve-Toes." It makes your head hurt just thinking about it, doesn't it?

So, who were the parents of Kid Muscles? I don't know, because this title would bite the big one with this, the second issue (or, according to Charlton Comics math, the twenty-third issue). I don't know how anyone related to anyone else. Maybe they all just belonged to the same gym. I don't know. I suppose there's an online resource that might answer that question, but if I can't tell by reading the comic, I certainly don't see why I should put forth that kind of effort.

I did find it funny, in a perverse way, to speculate as to what the names of the animals would be if Mr. Muscles, Kid Muscles, and Miss Muscles lived on a farm. The rooster and the barn cat alone would be enough for you to click that "Report Inappropriate Content" button up there.

Fare thee well, Muscle Family. We barely knew ye.

Although we might have gotten to know ye a little bit better had we not been cheated out of the last Muscles story in favor of Steeplejack:

So, the premise is that the guy works up high? I'm supposed to be spending my allowance on this instead of Batman? Normally, I'm all in favor of B-characters, but what next? Troy Dinglekamp: Toll Booth Attendant?

Charlton Comics, I love you, yet I must slay you. I take no joy in this.

Well, not an excessive amount of joy.

See you tomorrow!


Gene Phillips said...

Hmm, Miss Muscles wasn't exactly BIRDS OF PREY material then. Maybe not even FEMFORCE-worthy.

Sea-of-Green said...

Yeah, they really don't seem all that muscular, do they?

Zocktastic said...

Well of COURSE Miss Muscles' rivals were jealous. That guy's got his own Schoolhouse Rock song!

"Hey little Twelvetoes, I hope you're thrivin'/
Some of us ten-toed folks are still survivin'..."

Allergy said...

So how many pages did it take for Jiggs to plummet to his death?