Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Aliens Know Good Hair Care Products Wednesday!

I'm not saying I could do any better, but check out the design of the communication devices Batman and Robin used in Detective #41:

Is it really necessary to design the thing so you have to shout towards your crotch to communicate? I'm no engineer, but it just seems like Bruce could have come up with something a little more dignified.

In 1981, Charleston got my hopes up by releasing Charleston Bullseye #1, which gave me the then-unheard of teaming of the Blue Beetle and the Question. I know! In the same story! What's more,

it gave us a robot shark. Robot sharks are almost as cool as giant gorillas, and are always a sure sign of awesomeness.

But the two wouldn't appear again in the same story until DC Comics bought out the Charleston characters shortly thereafter. Some of those characters were awesome until DC killed them off, like the Blue Beetle and the Question. Some were terrible and killed off as a public service, like Peacemaker. Some just kind of hang out on the fringes of relevancy, like Captain Atom, Nightshade, and Sarge Steel. But, for some reason, we have yet to see a revival of The Vanguards.

What's that? You never heard of The Vanguards? Well, check them out:

The Vanguards were created by Larry Houston, who we can safely assume didn't date much in high school. And, believe it or don't, Charleston Bullseye #4 is the only known appearance of the team.

I especially love how we sum everyone's origin up in those three panels. You don't really want to know these gals, do you? They look good in skin-tight clothing, and isn't that what matters?

Welcome to the Character Hall of Shame, girls. Let me get the door for you.

See you tomorrow!


David said...

Hey, they can guard my van anytime.

Any resemblance to Charlie's Angels is purely coincidental, of course.

CATR's Chris said...

I wonder of those Batman and Robin devices weren't actually some cell phones set on vibrator--

Allergy said...

I dunno, I think I'd rather shout at my crotch than have a big plastic thing clipped to my ear.

Plus, imagine the fun if someone else needed to use the phone. "Here, just put your face, um, down there..."

Zocktastic said...

I can understand psionics, and "solar force" is at least comprehensible, but what in the blue heck is "electron force"?

Gene Phillips said...

"The Vanguards were created by Larry Houston, who we can safely assume didn't date much in high school."

I've no idea how much he dated, but I get the feeling that some guys make a living from drawing beautiful babes AND score a lot, too.

I must admit Dave Stevens is the only one I can think of offhand...

Nathan said...

Celestra, Cerebra, and Corona. Otherwise known as Baby, Sporty, and Ginger.