Thursday, March 20, 2008

Mystery Date Thursday!

Hey hey! Tomorrow is Good Friday, which means offices are closed! Happy Easter to those who celebrate!

But before we go, leave us to examine the mystery of Mystery Lad! He's right here:

I would have thought the question mark denoted that no one could be sure he was toilet trained. Check out those trunks, from the friendly folks at Depends Undergarments(tm)!

Saturn Girl, who even in the early days thought it was her job to get in the middle of everything, decides that the best thing to do is to lock herself alone in a room with the new boy. Hey, shouldn't that have involved some bottle-spinning or "truth or dare" type activity? Anyway, off they go....

.... and she must have been pretty impressed, because she no longer is asking any questions. Judging by the look on her face, I'm starting to understand why Mystery Lad needs the extra large exo-athletic supporter! Hey, if you've got a large tool, you need a large shed, know what I mean?

Well, blah blah blah, it turns out that his big secret power is that he's able to change elements and he wanted to keep it a secret so no one would try to blackmail him into changing ordinary stuff into precious metals. How do we keep his elemental-based powers a secret? Cosmic Boy knows how!:

You don't want people to know he can effect elements, so you call him Element Lad?

Frankly, I'm more than a bit disappointed in Cosmic Boy. I mean, his name ("Cosmic Boy") has nothing to do with his powers (magnetism), so it's not like we're asking him to do something he's never done before. I get the feeling he's really trying to keep Element Lad in danger because he's intimidated by Element Lad's enormous schlong. See? It all comes together if you follow the schlong....

See you Monday!


Johnny said...

I dont follow the 'schlong' Adam, but i can tell you this, SATURN GIRL DOES!
How Eager was she to be lock, YES LOCKED in a room with a stranger.
That's a recipe for sex offence in most Western countries of the World!

Dave said...

So, let me get this straight. An "E" on Jan's shirt would have given his powers away, but a question mark wouldn't?

Does that make any sense, even in Unca Mort's universe?

SallyP said...

It's true. Cosmic Boy IS a bit of a dick.

Belvoir said...

So the Legionnaires are also rapacious commodities traders? Gold! Hey Element boy!

Why then were Oil Boy and Pork-Bellies-Futures Girl also rejected, cruelly and with some mockery?

(Ps. That Saturn girl is a minx fer shure.)

mwb said...

Oh, yeah. I remember thinking that when I first read that whole scene with Saturn Girl & Porn Boy...Element Lad.

Please tell me you're doing this in order and will tackle the evil men taking over the bodies of Legionaires story. That one is awesome!

Adam Barnett said...

mwb.... oh, it's in order. stay tuned....