Monday, September 8, 2008

XXX-Men Monday!

I'll bet with that title, I get more traffic than I've ever imagined. Hi, Googlers!

As we bid farewell to the Original X-Men, who were nowhere near as entertaining as I had hoped, let's check out Cyclops, who finally smacks Magneto but doesn't quite have his repartee down:


Really?

We waited 51 issues for that?

The sad thing is, you can tell Cyclops had rehearsed that speech a thousand times in his head, but it didn't come out right. "You're number one on my..... uh.... I dunno.... RAT'S LIST!" Wow, that's sad. You can just see Bobby and Warren shaking their heads off panel, wondering why they didn't let Hank be the spokesperson for the group.

You know this is why Scott never got anywhere with Jean.
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From X-Men #53:


I don't know exactly what kind of machine Jean's hooked herself up to, but she ain't exactly complainin'!


You may feel some discomfort, Jean! But don't worry about it! It's not really good unless it hurts a little!


Oh, no! Did I just say that? That's so wrong!




Now, look: If we're going to run a clean shop here, we can't have Blastaar aiming himself at other people's vitals that way, especially in that position. Hey, my eyes are up here, mister!

Thankfully, Cyclops can bring us back to quiet reflection and dignity:

Say what?

No, I'm pretty sure the guy's dead. We can appreciate that it's been years and you still haven't gotten to second base with Jean, but what say you talk a little less and just zap things with your eyeballs when we tell you to?

So long, Original X-Men! You were one of the few Stan Lee / Jack Kirby comics that was canceled within 5 years (making it one of their least successful corroborations ever) , and now we have a better understanding as to why. We shall barely miss ye.

13 comments:

Allergy said...

Am I the only one who thought Blastaar was going to say "...by emitting energy directly from my behind!"?

I never knew Jean was so kinky... how exactly did this book get canceled again?

De said...

The Barbarella scene looks like it was done by Jim Steranko. He was probably the biggest horn dog out of all the comic artists back then.

Johnny said...

krr-nch?
I'm suprised you didnt pick up on this Adam?
Although it doesn't quite look right in lower case.
I wonder what the word KRR-NCH would sound like?

Sea_of_Green said...

>>He was probably the biggest horn dog out of all the comic artists back then.<<

Nah, Gil Kane was worse.

SallyP said...

Wait...Jean is upset because the bad BAD guy is "dead", and Cyclops comforts her by cheerfully pointing out that there's evil EVERYWHERE! Woohoo!

Gil Kane? Really? No WONDER he enjoyed drawing Green Lantern so much!

Erich said...

>>The Barbarella scene looks like it was done by Jim Steranko.<<

Actually, that was Barry Smith (not yet Windsor-Smith) at the very start of his career. The fact that Windsor-Smith used to draw like suggests that there's hope for all bad artists out there. Except Rob Liefeld.

De said...

Was Barry Smith a horn dog?

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