Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Socially Important Bloggin' Monday!

That's right - we're talkin' issues of relevance and stuff today. Bookmark this page, so you can nominate me for one of those blog awards they give out for people who are socially conscious and crap like that.

(But before I forget, you owe it to yourself to see The Incredible Hulk on the big screen while it is in its second run, if you haven't already. Beloved and I have been positively rocked by the summer movies this year.)

From Batman #4:

Kids, if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times...

... if you disobey the law, your juvenile court judge will have your mother killed.

You have been warned.

Hey, hey! Can it be? It is! Superboy & LSH v.1 #212:

This one addressed my question posed here about how they choose a member from a whole planet of people who have the same super-powers. Apparently, it is an arbitrary system, and some folks who can use those same powers better decided to open up a can of asswhoop to prove they could do the job better.

I'll save you the story by telling you why this story makes no sense: The newcomers beat the stuffing out of the Legion members one-on-one and only stop when Superboy sticks his super nose in, using his super "getting involved in matters that really aren't my business" power. The Legionnaires then challenge the newcomers to a rematch.

The Legionnaires win the rematch, but this is only by switching opponents (Cosmic Boy fights Saturn Girl's counterpart, Shrinking Violet fights Phantom Girl's, etc.). If they had thought about it for a moment, the newcomers could have successfully argued that while the Legionnaires were a better team than the newcomers, the newcomers were nonetheless more capable with their individual abilities and thus should have replaced that respective Legionnaire upon completion of training.

See? This is why the world needs lawyers.

But the worst thing that happened is the worst thing that possibly could have happened:

Yup! So long, Matter-Eater Lad! That'll teach you to fill out that card at the Post Office!

Not that I have a problem with their system. I think we should draft our government if there were a way to really do it objectively. Generally, the last person in the world who should be in charge is the person who wants to be in charge. Give me the guy who will do the job out of duty and not just the opportunity to make himself rich through Haliburton.

What? Did I say that last part out loud?

And, as we've seen before, if Matter-Eater Lad has a flaw, it's that he's way too forgiving. This is the second time he's suggested he be replaced with the person who kicked his ass, so it makes you wonder how badly he wanted to be in the Legion to begin with.

Hey, kids! You too can be spat on by Superman or Batman! Wheeeeeeee!!

See you tomorrow!


Elie said...

Is the full name of their planet "Pepto-Bismoll"?

"I can't believe I ate the whole... matter"

Captain Infinity said...

Is there some kind of mass spandex shortage in the 30th century?

Matthew A. said...

Good grief, I'd forgotten all about those squirt-guns...!

Even as a little kid, I thought, "Well, THAT"S kind of weird..."

D.B. Echo said...

Poor Jimmy Ahhhh. Sixteen and a half years old, and only the size of a ventriloquist's dummy.

Anonymous said...

Poor Jimmy indeed! He recieved 1 1/2 years sentence for his first offense as a juvinile, yet only got 1 year for second offense as an adult! YEAH JUDICIAL SYSTEM!!!

Railbus said...

Is that THE "Jimmy" we're talking about here (as in "Olsen")? The red hair and bow tie looks familiar. If so, it puts a little Moxie into his backstory.
And "Calorie Queen" at least sounds better than "Matter Eater Lad" ever did.

Sea_of_Green said...

Calorie Queen??!?

SallyP said...

That's one stone-cold judge. But for the love of God, please make those teens put on some pants!

Allergy said...

I don't remember Jimmy Olsen being quite so short... and ugly. Maybe in this world, every Jimmy has red hair and a bow tie.

LOL @ Elie's 2nd line.

michaelrbn@aol.com said...

No, elle, Pepto is the capital city of Bismoll!

Robert Gillis said...

The sad thing is, the "Stuff" Jimmy was "transporting" was DVDs of 'Smallville"