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From Batman #3:
Yeah, let's hook him up to a car battery and see if that doesn't get a little cooperation. Failing that, I suggest we repeatedly kick him in the balls.
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What kind of idiot lives in Gotham City, anyway? Look, a huge bat with a propeller that makes a loud, motorized sound! Those folks were a pretty easy sale back in the day.
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Aaaaaand moving on to Batman #4:
Yes, Robin, I realize we are in combat for our lives against armed and bloodthirsty criminals, but allow me to remind you that WE DO NOT USE LETHAL FORCE! WE USE NO LETHAL FORCE OF ANY KIND! THESE MEN NEED NOT SHOW ANY RESTRAINT FOR FEAR OF THEIR LIVES! THEY CAN CHARGE US WITH EVERYTHING THEY HAVE AND WE WILL DO THEM NO PERMANENT HARM! Say, old chum, do they seem to be getting a bit more aggressive?
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Say, Bruce, if you could break the fourth wall and get all preachy on our readership, what would you say?
.... and eat your vegetables and say your prayers. But feel free to take a relaxing, satisfying smoke at the end of your day!
Have a safe weekend! I'll see you Monday!
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11 comments:
Could be worse... I thought that with "Look in the sky! A bat! A bat!" they were about to break into song.
I'm sure the police wouldn't bother carrying nightsticks if someone had only told them that you could use the flat of your sword and never have to worry about killing someone!
Bruce: "Don't be impressed by criminals and their sleek clothes, their luxurious surroundings, their wonderful drugs, their exciting sex lives, their ability to get nearly any and everything they want at a moment's notice, the marvelous lives they leave that the rest of us can only dream of... where was I going with this?"
Bruce seems to have smoked a lot in the Golden Age.
A lot of tobacco, that is.
He *is* smoking tobacco, right?
On second glance... where is the smoke coming from? It's certainly not coming from the pipe.
Maybe Bruce was like Dr. Phibes,and smoked through a hole in his neck.
XD I'm sorry but that guys face-the one about to get electrocuted- in the 1st panel is hilarious. That face alone was the highlight of my day. Thx.
"Remember, we never kill with weapons of any kind! ...now please excuse me while I drop this pirate out of an eighth-story window."
All of these are hilarious.
Thank you so much for finding and posting these, they really cheer me up.
Now now, Batman made it perfectly clear that they never kill...with WEAPONS! He said nothing about hands or teeth.
Today's entry seals it: you have the absolute best comic blog.
This was brilliant: "Say, old chum, do they seem to be getting a bit more aggressive?"
Keep up the good work!
Bruce: "Don't be impressed by criminals and their sleek clothes, their luxurious surroundings, their wonderful drugs, their exciting sex lives, their ability to get nearly any and everything they want at a moment's notice, the marvelous lives they leave that the rest of us can only dream of... Robin, get back here and get away from that Hooker!
Criminal: Wait! You said you wouldn't hurt me! You don't kill!
Batman: "Apparently you never read Dark Night Returns."
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