Friday, August 22, 2008

Kings, Queens and Feral Superheroes Friday!

You say your kid has low self esteem? He can't swing a bat or catch a football to save his life? He's not really a leader, has no musical talent, and can barely find his own way home from school?

Take heart, oh parents of loser kids everywhere! There's still one more thing your worthless, talentless child might actually pull off:

Yup. He might become Marble King of the neighborhood! And even if he doesn't get it legit, you can always make that stupid crown out of construction paper and see if he develops track skills running from jealous neighborhood kids a la Forrest Gump.

What do chicks do when we aren't around? Gloat about evil things they've done to men:

See? I knew it! Adventure Comics #410 wasn't afraid to tell the truth!

Superboy and the LSH v1 #197 was the beginning of some awesome stories from Bates, Cockrum, Grell and Shooter. I defy you to find any comics from the early 70's that hold up as well as Superboy and the LSH up through around #250. These are stories and art that hold up against anything I've ever seen before or since.

#197 finally gave us a Timber Wolf to be proud of. He dropped the porn star / motorcycle cop moustache and started wearing that "Flock of Seagulls" haircut (years before Flock of Seagulls, might I add) to go with his more bestial nature:

Timber Wolf's haircut, of course, would be ripped off years later by Wolverine, and it was painfully obvious during his brief "Timber Wolf ripoff" look:

It should be noted that, unlike Wolverine, Timber Wolf didn't need any pansy-ass healing factor or metal claws. All Timber Wolf needed was his unlimited supply of Asswhoop.

Oh, my! Check out Superboy & LSH v1 #199!:

You see it, don't you? It isn't just me, is it?

There's nothing I can take out of context to make that scene more suggestive. I mean, nothing! The dialogue, Superboy's pose, Brainiac 5's pose.... you have to see that!

Come on! The image aside, the story is called "The Gun that Mastered Men!" There's no way this isn't intentional!

You see what I'm getting at, don't you? It can't just be me.

See you Monday!


Allergy said...

Shouldn't that be "The gun that mastur'd men?"

Heh heh.

Evil Twin said...

Hm. It seems I could learn a hell of a lot of things just by playing with marbles.

"you'll learn how to defuse bombs!"

"you'll learn how to do the mashed potato!"

"you'll learn how to tell when your parents are drunk!"

"You'll lose your virginity!"

SallyP said...

Oh yeah, I see it. I have a filthy filthy mind.

My, the girls are just so...happy!

Jack Norris said...

Don't forget that Wolverine literally ripped his Timber Wolf rip-off outfit off a (more direct and literal) Timber Wolf rip-off character in that issue of X-Men. If I remember correctly, Cockrum was burning off some Legion costume ideas he'd had back when he was pencilling that book but didn't get to use.

Johnny said...

That Three-eyed bitch in the Green has got one hell of a loose thread!
It'll cause a trip hazard on the dance floor!

Bunche said...

Finally, someone who agrees with me on that period of the Legion! I still says that run was the best work of Dave Cockrum's career, and that Timber Wolf story you cited has one of the best combat flying sequences in comics history, namely when Superboy and Mon-El have to subdue a crazed and rampaging Timber Wolf in midair. And don't forget the equally excellent story with the Devil Fish...

FoldedSoup said...

I've always loved that Evil Dancin' Legion Girls panel. So frolicsome ... yet so sinister!