Monday, August 4, 2008

(Eventually) Beware the Juggernaut Monday!

So, Iron Man finally made it to the dollar movie, but Beloved and I hadn't seen Prince Caspian yet! What to do, what to do?

Well, thanks to an unmotivated Cinemark employee and some misplaced signs, we waited half an hour for the show to start, only to discover we had been directed into the theater showing Baby Mamma. Yes, we missed both Prince Caspian and Iron Man, which were already well into things by the time we figured out we had been sent to the wrong theater.

I'm normally a pretty patient guy, but that hacked me off, so I confronted the ticket seller. He told me I could still go to the other movies, and I asked him why I would want to watch a movie when I've missed the first half hour? Dorkface didn't even say he was sorry, which really annoyed me more than anything. Are we so litigious that we've scared ourselves out of owning even minor mistakes?

He's lucky I loves me some Tina Fey.

So where were we? Well, Professor X spent all of Uncanny X-Men #12 yammering away about childhood issues instead of preparing to fight the invading Juggernaut. On to Uncanny X-Men #13!:

Hmmmmmm.... he wasn't as scary as I had been led to believe. And, though you may call me a sexist, I don't think he could have been that tough if Marvel Girl was able to tote him around back in those days.

And, by the way, she isn't "teleporting" anyone. I looked up the definition to make sure I wasn't going to sound all smarty-pants and then be wrong (as has happened many, many times), but nope. "Teleporting" is what Nightcrawler does, or the landing party on Star Trek did after Scotty would say "energize."

This will be my only Star Trek reference. Don't even think of asking me for another.

You don't see this kind of thing often enough. The vast majority of the time, protagonists don't follow through when they've got the villains on the ropes, which only gives the bad guy the opportunity to recover and drag things out.

Not Iceman. If you're knocked into a pit, he's going to drop chunks of ice on you for good measure, and he probably won't stop until you quit kicking. That's the kind of follow-through you just don't see enough of out of folks these days.


From Uncanny X-Men #15:

Yeah, quit using up all that energy by talking, Iceman! Play it smart like Cyclops, who is using his limited supply of energy beams by zapping footholds into the side of a mountain instead of using up the perfectly good ladder you just made.

If he hadn't just made the "Clam up and save your energy" comment, I would have let that one go. But he didn't. Because Cyclops tends to be a douche.

Hey, kids! It's the CBS 1967 Saturday morning schedule!:

Sadly, Shazzan! was not a typo, but a totally non-Captain Marvel-related series about a genie.

Still, they had stuff on for kids until 2:00 in the afternoon. That's a pretty big time commitment, especially by today's standards. I loves me some Space Ghost. But not as much as I loves me some Tina Fey.


Nick Danger said...

If Juggernaut is practically invincible, I dont think dropping chunks of ice is going to do anythign but help him get out of the pit... Filling it in would only help Juggernaut get out faster. What does he care if it hits him?

Monkay said...

Carry it with you everywhere . . .

Anonymous said...

Yes! I remember seeing old Shazzan! reruns on Cartoon Network about 12-13 years ago. Not only was it about a genie, the genie was only there to help 2 teenagers and their flying camel named "Kaboobie" (as in the word Kaboom and boobies combined). Truly a steaming pile from the Hannah-Barbarian days, worse than the Galaxy Trio or Birdman. The Herculoids put all the others to shame, as we all know. And with only 7 different sound effects!

-Anonymous Mikey

SallyP said...

Ahhhh...Saturday morning cartoons. Truely a halcyon time.

ratchet said...

Ice Man claims that he would make a great fire man... because he can make ladders out of ice... Last I checked ice melts when near fire...

mr said...

Isnt part of Juggernauts power not being able to be stopped by anything once he has built up momentum? So couldn't Mervel Girl just sort of redirect his trjectory and send him rocketing into space considering his power would prevent gravity and friction from stopping him?

Just saying that's all.