Friday, July 25, 2014

Superman's Day in Court

Okay, I'm back on speaking terms with Action Comics now that I'm up to issue #359.  Any time I get some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!), I just can't stay mad.  Let's check it out!:

Oh, Superman.  I think you need to see this:

Anyway, Superman is on trial for killing a guy.  Everyone knows it was a total accident and the victim willingly participated in the boxing match where Superham permanently punched his lights out,  but Supes is getting charged with homicide anyway.  I'm not sure why.  Anyway, here it is:

I can't watch courtroom dramas because I'll critique how inaccurate they are.  Beloved says I take all the fun out of them, so I'll do my best to silence myself.  But I can tell you this: If I piped up during the prosecution's opening statement, the judge would be having a word with me in his chambers.  But apparently, this is criminal procedure in Metropolis.

Hmmmm... the fact that the scientist's inexplicably green hair has me perplexed notwithstanding, that's a valid point.  And it was totally improper for the prosecutor to make it at that time.

(A) Superham's defense counsel is asserting something for which there is no evidence and (B) WHY is everyone's hair turning green?

Wow, this prosecutor takes a lot of digs.  I'm surprised the judge is putting up with it, but I guess he feels obliged since he let Superman's attorney interrupt the prosecution's opening statements. 

Yeah, Ironside!  Superman is all about "Truth, Justice and the American Way," right?  Howzabout that?  Did you think of that, or were you just hoping we'd be so impressed by your dramatic pointing and the fact that your hair isn't green any longer that we wouldn't notice?

I'm telling you, Action Comics has really taken an awesome turn.  First Zha-Vam, and now this prosecutor.  Good times, my friends!

And then, blah blah blah, something happens that gets Superman's fat out of the fire and kills my buzz.  I find I tend to enjoy Action Comics more if I disregard the last few pages.  If these weren't borrowed copies, I'd just rip 'em clean out of the comic.

Anyway, Superman does this:

Ooooookay.  Why didn't you do this before the guy took your case?  I mean, it sounds like it took all of five seconds.  I think Superman was just holding back on helping the guy so he could use it as payment for legal services rendered.  Superham is such a jerk.

See you Monday!


Aaron Carine said...

So Superman really killed a guy? There wasn't a revelation that the guy had actually been alive the whole time? Because that's what I would expect in a Superman story from this time period.

Adam Barnett said...

Well... in the strictest of terms, he was a cog in the machine that killed the guy (albeit an unwilling one). 50 YEAR SPOILER ALERT: He was participating in a charity boxing match and the mob was going to pay a terminally ill criminal a million bucks to fight Superman and have Superman accidentally kill the frail guy (he had a heart problem, so Supes wouldn't have known how weak he was). Unfortunately, the guy died before the fight. So, the mob boss stepped up and fought Supes. When Supes gave him a love-tap, the boss secretly took a capsule he thought would *simulate* death, not knowing that an underling was actually poisoning the boss so that the underling could take over the rackets. So, Supes hit the guy, he poisons himself... boom.

Yael said...

Just wanted to say that personally, I *love* that kind of nitpicking (or not nitpicking so much as people who know stuff pointing out everything a work of fiction got wrong about that stuff). And judging by how much of it there is out there on the internet, I'm not the only way. So nitpick away!