Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I'm Kept Jitterbugging ALL THE TIME!


Finishing up our look at All-Flash Quarterly #25, we come upon the secret villainous origin of Slapsy Simmons:




Yes... seething with bitter resentment that he can't shuck and jive with the best of them, Slapsy develops a hatred for dancing and music that will (of course) lead him to a life of crime.  It's not like he can just keep his radio turned off and not go dancing... NO!  He must instead embark on a life of crime!


Is it just me, or should a guy with this kind of origin totally be a Batman villain?  And who is that lady giving him the disapproving stare?

Anyway, he commits crimes that seem limited to dance halls, which would make him pretty easy to catch if he wasn't already doing you a favor by committing crimes blindfolded:


The victim doesn't look particularly outraged.  That's just an observation.  I'm not trying to imply anything here.  It also looks like Slapsy's gun would be pointed at the victim's crotch, which makes me even more curious as to why the victim isn't more demonstrably upset.  But I'm not in the guy's shoes, and I'm not here to judge, so moving on...

to a CMNS Moment of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!):


This has been a CMNS Moment of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

All in all, it was pretty disappointing.  Slapsy was basically a normal hood who took his shortcomings way too seriously, but not so much that he'd be a candidate for Arkham Asylum.  Jay didn't have the quality of rogues that his successor would enjoy:


Indeed.

See you tomorrow!



1 comment:

Gene Phillips said...

To be sure, Flash wasn't alone in his "embarassment of unriches" for his rogue's gallery. Among Golden Age crusaders Sub-Mariner, Human Torch, Robotman, and many others hardly had three outstanding villains to rub together (or whatever they did with them). Mr. Terrific was so deprived that James Robinson felt moved to point it out in a STARMAN issue, but he might've said that the same of the Atom and Hourman.