Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Strange yet Manly Garment Tuesday!

Hercules has had maybe one good outfit, from that mini-series back in the 1980's. I'll see if I can dig it up. Other than that, he's always bordered on "fashion challenged." Case in point:

What is with that weird metal bra-like thing? Goliath wore that back in the Silver Age, and it looked goofy on him as well:

Then again, after Goliath ditched that outfit, he came back as Hawkeye without pants, so I guess a little metal chest harness is the least of his worries.

Things you should never see:

Namor laughing. Granted, his head is shaped better than it was in yesterday's post, but he's one of those folks that should only go so far as a smirk. My grandmother used to say the same thing about Raymond Burr.

Hey! It's a Second-String Pickoff!(tm!):

That's what we're going to call any slaughterings of minor characters who never really amounted to anything. This was when the Melter got taken out by Scourge. Not that anyone cared. Which is why it was.... A Second-String Pickoff!(tm!)

And while we're at it, how about some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue!(tm!):

What makes this special is that it's a two-stager:

Yeah! Good stuff! See you tomorrow!


Jake said...

Who could have predicted that he might be shot with a gun in his line of work?

Anonymous said...

The metal harness-bra thing on guys? Yeah, that's all about covering up the nipple.

We all know that the female nipple will scandalize all who see it, leading to mental infirmity and moral corruption, but were you also aware that it looks very similar to the male nipple? It's true!

So when you've got a male hero who wants to go shirtless, you run into a problem...well, two of them, I guess, right on the front of the chest. If you let people see 'em, now they're going to be thinking about the nipples of other heroes, some of whom are likely to be women, and then there you go, riots in the streets and hellfire raining from the skies.

Anonymous said...

But then, why is it OK for Namor to have nipples?

Anonymous said...

I don't know. Maybe because Namor breathes underwater, and fish don't have nipples, therefore when you see Namor's nips, you must be imagining them?

Or maybe his Dorito-shaped head is designed to knock all sexy thoughts out of your head, nipples or no nipples. It's libido kryptonite.