Today at Comics Make No Sense, we've got the beat!
This is very funny if you just read the dialogue and don't look at the picture:
This was a joke that was also made on Family Guy, but I lay claim to it because Beloved accidentally said it to her 14 year-old neice years before. She looked this precious child in the eye and said, "You're going to have to beat the boys off." This would have landed without harm had her 16 year-old nephew not heard it and began laughing loudly at this unintentioned Solicitation of a Minor offense committed by his aunt. To make the matter complete, we were in a funeral procession at the time. Sadly, this wasn't the worst crime against children Beloved has ever accidentally committed - remind me to tell you about the time she got a toddler drunk (totally by accident, I swear).
That's still not as funny as giant shrimp "beating off" sharks, though.
If you didn't read Criminal, this was the highlight of all five issues. I plan on pulling this stunt a lot in about 18 months when gray totally overtakes my hair.
And let's finish with Big Beat records. 78 rpm's of pure Hit Parade, true dat! 50 years ago, this was cutting-edge technology. I have no idea who anyone besides Dean Martin was, but you'd better believe I'm about to Google "Snooky Lanson!" I'm just a little annoyed he came up with the name before I did.