Thursday, January 8, 2009

Secret Invasionin' Thursday!

I've been plowing my way through last summer's big crossover from Marvel: Secret Invasion. I think my mistake is my determination to read all the chapters rather than just hitting the highlights. Some are pretty good and make sense while others are a distracting, jumbled mess. And, I have to ask: Is anyone really reading Incredible Hercules? I mean, really? I have an early contender for worst series of 2009 already in that one.

For those of you who aren't inflicting Secret Invasion on yourself (and I can't say I blame you), it's a plotline that has been used by Marvel twice before in Rom: Spaceknight (for about 5 years) and the Avengers: Kree-Skrull War. Apparently, Marvel is hoping that everyone who read comics in the 1970's and 1980's has a short memory or will just keep quiet about being served the same soup again, only slightly reheated.

So, what's it missing? Well, random shots of the Wasp getting smacked, for one thing:

Ah, that's much better. Thank you, Avengers v1 #90!

and hallucinations caused by an unsatisfying love life:

Well, there we go! See? We've had more fun with two panels from Avengers v1 than I've had in about twenty chapters of Secret Invasion.

Yeah, I've got to say, the old school was much better. For example, Ant Man manually re-booting a crashed Vision by going straight to his brain:

How did he get into the Vision? By going straight in his mouth. Unfortunately, he exited through the Vision's nose. I had a much funnier exit strategy in mind, but Roy Thomas wasn't taking any suggestions from me at the time. Stupid Comics Code, ruining my best ideas.... rasam frasam.

And how did the Vision get offline in the first place? He was struck down by cows:

Yeah, baby! Cows! Drawn by Neal Freakin' Adams, no less! You can't improve on moments like that. You just can't.

I know, they were Skrulls disguised as cows, but they were still cows! And they were drawn by Neal Freakin' Adams! Yeah!

It's a shame to see a dip in quality after Civil War, which was actually pretty good. Ah, well. Maybe DC's big event will be better. Is Final Crisis over yet? Anyone?

See you tomorrow!


D.B. Echo said...

Secret Invasion would have been more fun if, rather than replacing superheroes, the Skrulls had taken over the identities of a significant fraction of the world's cows. "Turn our advance scouts into cows, Reed Richards? Taste Skrull vengeance!" (I know the Skrullburger thing has already been done.)

And Leinil Yu would probably have given every sigle cow exactly the same chin. Do you think he did that on purpose, or has he lost the ability to draw distinguishable faces?

Adam Barnett said...

It's funny that you bring up that question, because I was noticing how similar the Black Widow and the Scarlet Witch look in today's panel. :-)

Stephen said...

"For example, Ant Man manually re-booting a crashed Vision by going straight to his brain:"

For some ungodly reason when I first read that, I read "Aunt May" instead of "Ant Man".

I would have killed to get that issue...

De said...

The concept of Civil War did make sense, but the execution was somewhat puzzling. Some of the characterizations just felt really off to me and the concept of the Illuminati was somewhat troubling.

Sea_of_Green said...

I thought the exact same thing about Rom and Secret Invasion. Somehow, there's something infinitely more satisfying in seeing a grouchy, put-upon spaceknight blow away Dire Wraiths.

Anonymous said...


...I was noticing how similar the Black Widow and the Scarlet Witch look in today's panel. :-)

No matter what era you're viewing, it would be an event if any two females actually had discernible features apart from hair color/style and costume. Remember, Kids, there's only one definition of beauty at any given time, and we'll decide what it is FOR you.


-- cleome45

Adam Barnett said...

cleome, are you saying that *all* women aren't anorexic with boob jobs? Why wasn't I informed before now?

Tracer Bullet said...

I'm going to go ahead and . . . disagree with you there. "Civil War" was crap. "House of M" was crap. I don't remember the last crossover that was any good which is why I refuse to read them.

Joe S. Walker said...

I think Roy Thomas should have been physically thrashed for all that Metropolis-Clark Kent-EC Fan-Addict crap.

Severin said...

Well Joe, any comic book that references Fritz Lang's "Metropolis" is okay with me. Stan Lee turned me on to Shalespeare, goshdamnit!

But "Fan-addict" sounds like druggie hippie talk, and I agree Roy Thomas should be thrashed.

Anonymous said...

Adam, they can't breathe out of those tiny little noses, either. That's why their lips always have to be parted. :p

-- cleome45

jehingr said...

Yes! Cows drawn by Neal Freakin' Adams! That totally rules, as did the entire Kree-Skrull war saga. Why don't they make comics that good anymore?


SallyP said...

Were there any highlights to Secret Invasion? As far as I know, the Skrulls and the heroes fought in the Savage Land, wrecked New York for nine months or so, and then went away.

I'm astonished that you don't like Incredible Hercules. It's about the only Marvel book that I'm reading anymore, and it is hilarious. If I can't have Nextwave, it's the next best thing.

Adam Barnett said...

Sallyp, I'm trying, I swear. But everyone has stupid names, the artwork is cluttered, and I can't figure out what the heck is going on. If you like it, I'll try it from the beginning and see if I can catch up.

Tracer - House of M was unreadable. I got through a few chapters and was so confused I sent it packing. I think the reason I didn't hate Civil War was the same reason I didn't hate Identity Crisis: They were far from perfect, but at least I could tell what was going on. Aliens and magic bore me silly. CW and IC were at least about politics, revolution, conspiracy.... stuff that I understand. Whenever the fabric of reality itself is messed with, things get too complicated too quickly for my tired old brain. Then again, I had to read Crisis on Infinite Earths three times before I understood everything that happened (how sad for me).

Joe S. Walker said...

Comic featuring a space/futuristic city that borrows its design from Metropolis = acceptable.

Writer who interrupts telling the story to wink and show off his pop-cultural tastes = pain in ass.

mr said...

Vison found the secret cow level in Diablo II.

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