And This Time I Will Win! PAKKA PAKKA PAKKA Wednesday!

Thought I was finished with Superpro? Don't I wish! I'm a third of the way through the series, and it's terrible. And not terrible in a funny way. Just terrible in a sad, sad way.

Apparently, if you become a superhero with a theme like football, you are going to bring about bad guys who decide to go with the theme so you all can be like twins! What fun! SQUEEEEEEALLLLL!

Which gives a lame-o like Superpro terrible villains like Quick Kick:


Instant Replay:


And Sanction, who I presume only comes out when someone's urinalysis test shows positive for anabolic steroid use:


I suppose it's necessary to come up with all new bad guys when you have a protagonist like Superpro, because it's not like he's going to beat anyone who is already established. I'm pretty sure that even the Leap Frog can kick this guy's ass.

I'm starting to see that the problem with the very idea of Superpro (besides the obvious) is that it was clearly meant for comic readers who happened to be sports fans who wanted to see the two things shoved together like a hot dog wedged in ice cream. But comics fans, by and large, weren't going to spend money on this sort of thing when there were better books out there (and could be obtained simply by closing one's eyes and pulling something randomly off the rack). Meanwhile, sports fans were likely to think this was a patronizing character that embarrassed the image of their little game. And both groups were correct. That left Superpro with a target audience of grandparents who happened to see the silly thing on the rack and knew that Junior just loved football as well as five year-olds who hadn't yet read a real comic.

I can't believe this was written by the same guy who wrote Nomad. He reportedly did it for free NFL tickets, which just sounds like less of an incentive to write something from where I sit. I really don't care for sports. Beloved says that makes me a catch.

See you tomorrow!