Friday, May 16, 2014

I Appreciate the Heat Vision, but We DO Have an Oven...

I guess you've seen some of the trailers for the television shows coming this fall.  I'm not sure about Constantine.  I'm not familiar with the comic, so I don't know if it'll be my thing.  But people who are into the comic seem very excited.  Meanwhile, The Flash is looking very promising.  But you know what I think is going to be awesome (besides another season of The Goldbergs)?  Fresh Off the Boat.  I saw an extended trailer for it and it looks absolutely hilarious.

But we can't just wait for the future!  Let's wallow in the past by taking a look at Action Comics #310:


Man, if there was ever a creature that needed to be visited by the Evolution Fairy, it would be the Thought-Beast.  I mean, the thing literally shows you a picture of every move it's going to make.  I just don't see how you can lose to this thing... unless you get your foot caught in vines.

Meanwhile...


Cause of Death for every non-Kryptonian in the house:  Brain hemorrhage after experiencing 100 flavors at once.

The Comet the Super-Horse makes a lot of appearances in Supergirl stories, just in case there was ever any doubt they were catering to little girls.  A horse that you could complain to about all of your problems?  Those clouds behind them are probably estrogen. 


I'm not sure where the rest of his body is, but more to the point: See how he doesn't try to actually solve her problem?  Chicks dig that for some reason, fellas.  Take note.

Girls also love unicorns, but they went with Comet, the guy who was magically transformed into a telepathic horse.  Because a unicorn would be silly.

See you Friday!

3 comments:

Railbus said...

No just a guy but a centaur changed into a full horse because someone cast a spell backwards. Nothing silly there either....

Gene Phillips said...

Thanks to your essay I now find myself wondering how many "horse comics" might have been followed by young girls. I think even the Lone Ranger's horse got his own series.

Vince Coleman said...

I'm not sure I want to eat ice cream that some dude has breathed all over...