HOOTIN' ZOOTS!

I plowed through several issues of Amazing Spider-Man, and while they weren't great, they didn't give me anything to go on, so back to the All-Flash Quarterly.  By now, it has been 14 issues and I didn't even realize that the Three Dimwits, pictured here in a gag that I found pretty dang hilarious:

are actually a thinly-veiled Three Stooges.

You may be wondering how I missed that.  Well, I miss obvious things, but I'll catch some obscure reference that'll have me laughing and no one else.  It's the same reason I can cook almost anything from scratch better than you've had in many restaurants, yet I can't make frozen waffles without them being either soggy or burned.  That's just how I roll.

Check out this ad for Thom McCann shoes:

I don't think you can be "trim" and "husky" at the same time.  When I was growing up, I wore a lot of "husky" clothes, and no one has ever accused me of being "trim." 

Anyway, check out poor Bill's love interest: 

That seemed to be a common theme back in the day. Not that there's any shortage of women these days who have the same attitude.  Yeah, I said it.

Lose her, Bill.  You'll thank me later.

There was a Captain Tootsie ad on the back, which is always interesting because of the C.C. Beck artwork.  Here we see the good captain, who is looking more and more like a blonde Captain Marvel all the time, teaching Rollo how to flash gang signs:

Meanwhile, here's a phrase I think needs to make a comeback:

HOOTIN' ZOOTS!

And there's a little premium to help you burn off all that nervous energy a Tootsie Roll will give you:

The fact that learning how to use signal flags might "help me later in life" tells me that someone wasn't very optimistic that the war was going to end any time soon.  I note that there's no indication they would send you the actual code to learn, so I guess you just walked around waving your flags haphazardly like an idiot.  It's not like they had Internet access to look these things up.

That's actually a pretty sad image... just walking around, half your teeth pulled out of your head from sticky Tootsie Rolls, waving little flags hither and yon.  No wonder comic book nerdlingers have historically had a hard time getting women.

See you Monday!