Monday, February 22, 2016

In Which We See the Start of Lex Luthor's Awesome Years

Taking a look at Superman #282, which had the first appearance of Lex Luthor's purple and green outfit:

And you know, I've got to agree.  The man is a super-villain, after all, so why just go with regular clothes?  Besides, this gave the writers an excuse to have him outfitted with all kinds of weaponry so he could actually have battles with Superman.  Up until that point, he would largely just plot things and get all "excellllent" like Montgomery Burns from The Simpsons.  He would later be put in a bulky suit of armor that was probably more realistic but I loathed.  Then, he just went back to wearing regular business suits and going all Montgomery Burns again.  Everything old is new again!

But this was the "I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty" Lex Luthor.

The story began with a much younger Superman and Clark Kent than everyone was used to.  And it's a good thing people were saying it, because I really didn't notice any difference.  Anyhoo:

How did he do it?  Because he's Lex Luthor.  Next question.

See?  He had a lot of gadgets like Batman but they were things Tony Stark was more likely to come up with.  He was using these things to scalp Superman.

Yes... scalp Superman.

That makes sense, because Superman did accidentally cause Luthor to lose his hair in the first place.  And it's suitably extreme for a super-villain.  I mean, there are lots of alternatives to burning someone's scalp off with a laser and wearing it it like a hat.  But I likes my villains to be over-the-top, so it's awesome!

Anyway, it turns out that making Superman young was a total failure.  But since he's Lex Luthor and he had to be absolutely sure, he would later go full blast and turn Superman and friends into toddlers:

Okay (A) awesome Neal Adams cover and (B) it turns out that didn't work out for Luthor so well, either.  But you had to give the man props for trying all variables before chucking an idea.

Then we had the back feature, the Fabulous World of Krypton, which was rather misleading because if the stories were any indication, the people on Krypton didn't have a life I would call "fabulous."  Anyway, Superman is butting into Supergirl's life again because, as we've seen many times, Superman can't stand to see Supergirl happy.  Remember, this is the same guy who made her grow up in an orphanage rather than give her a stable home.

And you know this is going to be quite a story because he finished the sentence with a big logo.

The story is about this guy that wanted immortality.  Because that always works out well.

And... surprise!  It sucks to be him.

So, what did this have to do with Supergirl wanting a family of her own (again... something she never had because Superman wouldn't allow it)?

I have some heavy thinking as well.  Like, what the hell did that story have to do with anything?  She doesn't want to live forever!  She wants to love and be loved!  Using the "careful what you wish for" moral of that story, none of us should ever try to better our lives, ever.

I'm just going to say it:  Superman should be court-ordered to have no contact with Supergirl.  He emotionally abuses that poor girl something awful.

See you tomorrow!

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