Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Things We Say When We Just Don't Care Anymore Wednesday!

Can you believe we've gone through 50 issues of All-Star Comics? I can't either, but here it is!


We are but one finger away from making this the best cover ever. You know there's a version of this cover on the cutting room floor of DC Comics where the giant disembodied hand is flipping the bird to everyone.
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No, Al! Don't ask for details! ... aw, crap.

I'm sure Al is very popular with nursing home residents, but when someone is about to segue into what will no doubt be a long, drawn-out story, you say, "I'd love to hear about it sometime," which means, "Don't tell me this story, ever."
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Boy, Green Lantern is the worst guy in the world to keep a secret. You want information about Jay Garrick? Well, let me introduce you to a guy who looks and sounds exactly like Jay Garrick and wears no real disguise whatsoever! Make sure you get a good look at him, because when you meet Jay Garrick, you'll be certain he's the Flash, whom you are about to meet! It'll be uncanny!
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Tantalize us with the promise of a long story? Man, Black Canary, what kind of grandparent issues do you and the Atom have, anyway?
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Nothing can save this story.... unless its Wonder Woman dancing for no reason:


Ah, there we go.
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Little-Known Super-Power Hall of Fame:


Dr. Mid-Nite and the Black Canary can apparently communicate with each other telepathically under water. Who knew?

More than one hero seemed to develop that power whenever it was convenient. Maybe Aquaman isn't as useless as we think. No, he totally is.
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You know what they don't give kids enough of these days? Free weaponry.
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This is the greatest marketing idea ever:


So, these people will pester your parents for you if you send in their info.

Say, Billy, two large men came over this afternoon and told me they'd kill our whole family if I didn't get you a bike for Christmas. Do you know anything about that?

Gee willikers, Dad. I'm sorry, but I really wanted that bike!

Oh, I can't stay mad at you, ya little rascal! God bless us, every one!

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Little-Known Super Power Hall of Fame:


Wow two entries from one comic! I'm prepared to guess the editors knew comics were about to take a dive and were too busy updating their resumes to care about the details here, but when did the Atom and the Flash gain the power of flight?

I've never understood Wonder Woman's ability to fly, but she has done it before and since, so I'm only going to call a technical foul for the Atom and the Flash here.

See you tomorrow!

10 comments:

D.B. Echo said...

Wonder Woman was carrying the Atom and the Flash. She just dropped them!

Jon H said...

How did you not go for the "10 year old date" joke?

TF said...

I for one, need to have 'my knife before Christmas'.

for... stuff.

Johnny said...

Seems like Black Canary and the Atom boogied a little in that panel too!

Arun said...

Totally random compliment, but I just want you to know how much I enjoy your blog here, Adam. I appreciate the care you take with great visuals and you're very funny. After a long day, visiting your page is always a joy. Thank you!

SallyP said...

My, Alan's cape certainly managed to shrink somehow in that last scan. No wonder he's in a hurry to get away.

And yes, I would have totally killed for that bike, once upon a time.

Nate said...

Does that knife ad explain why Bazooka Joe is modernly portrayed as needing an eye patch?

Kelson said...

So is that the Fickle Finger of Fate narrating the Prophecy of Peril?

ABS said...

The Atom isn't asking for a story. He was only half-paying attention, but heard enough to know he needed girl advice from the Flash.

Chance said...

Just in case anyone thinks this is a serious error, Green Lantern is carrying the non-flying characters in the last panel.