Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Goin' Green (Team) Wednesday!

BORING ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: Sad to say, I will be off the grid for the remainder of the week. To get us through it, here's an extra-large edition of CMNS - The Green Team Summer Spectacular!


Why the Green Team didn't catch on, I'll never understand. Have you ever seen such a horrible idea executed so enthusiastically in your life?

The Green Team consisted of four boy millionaires, each of whom made their fortune by being stereotypes of kids who had lots of money yet never worked a day in their lives:


To be fair, the last guy made his own fortune by being some sort of director prodigy, but I lumped him in with the other dorks because he said things like, "Greetings, sweeties!" That doesn't even rhyme. What a tool.

Now, we had to have the token, but we certainly couldn't have a wealthy African-American family back in the 1970's. So:


He gets rich via bank error. Of course! Because as we all know, an African-American can't be a success unless he's an athlete, a rapper, or unintentionally commits bank fraud.


I've been around the block many times, and if someone tries to sell me a "pleasure machine," it had better not look like that. I don't know how it does the job, but if it does half of what it looks like it will do, you can count me out.

Cue the angry mob:


I don't know who the caricatures are in the second panel, but the fact that they snuck Spider-Man into a DC book in the 1970's is six different kinds of awesome.


I forget who the bad guy was, but he reminds me of the RIAA. Topical zing!


That's some good psychedelic stuff right there. We don't see enough of that sort of thing these days.

Maybe it's because cool Yellow Submarine - style artwork leads to freakin' out, man!


See? What did I just say?

Which leads us to the big question:


I've always heard it can grow hair on your palms and make you go blind.

How about a Green Team / Lady Cop team-up? You'd totally buy it. Don't try and tell me you wouldn't.

Alas, my lovelies, I'll see you Monday!

10 comments:

Nick Danger said...

That doesn't even rhyme. What a tool.

I love it! Keep up the good work and have a great weekend!

NJR said...

Are they making the black kid walk behind and crouched down?

Justin Garrett Blum said...

My god--this is ten times worse than Lady Cop. At least Lady Cop tried to learn ya somethin'. Seen as a PSA, it wasn't as terrible as all that (though it was pretty terrible). But this is just insulting on about ten different levels.

Blockade Boy said...

I'm intrigued by the "Wanted" poster next to the teller's window. "Charlie Brown is 'The Fugitive!'" What, did he finally snap and kill Lucy?

Reggie said...

I think the one caricature with the cowboy hat is supposed to be John Wayne. I can't figure out the rest.

It figures that Batman would want to burn down a pleasure machine, but Spidey? Nah!

De said...

How many of the Green Team had VD?

SallyP said...

Did...did that rich kid, call the poor people "jerks"? And wouldn't somebody at the bank have noticed that they just deposited all that money into that kid's account? By, oh I don't know...the end of the day?

I don't know if Lady Cop would team up with these losers. Put them in jail...maybe.

Sea_of_Green said...

The GREEN TEAM!!! ARRGGHHH!!!

*Sea smashes her head repeatedly on her desk in the hopes that the pain will drive all of the bad memories and images away ...*

Erich said...

It's like Richie Rich times three...only much, much worse.

And to think, I felt sorry for them when they tried so desperately to buy their way out of limbo in Animal Man...

Allergy said...

This really makes me wonder... when they pitched this, who thought it was a good idea? Who at DC thought that the readers would really enjoy this?

Even worse is the thought that out there, somewhere, is someone who treasures the memory of this book...