Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The Awesome Origin of... Who IS This Guy?

Okay, this is just awful.  And, just in case you want to read the whole thing for yourselves to see how terrible it is, it's from Batman #135:

As we've seen, Batman has had some pretty lame villains, and I'm not even saying this guy is the worst.

But he's still pretty bad.  And here's his not-so-awesome origin:


Okay, caught by Batman when Bats raided a gambling den, sent to prison, already has the nickname "Wheels" for some reason, vehicle busts through gate at prison:


I'm not a big believer in omens, and that one is really pushing it.  Anyhoo, as you might suspect, old Frank puts on a ridiculous outfit and starts acting like an idiot:


Yes, I'm afraid those are roller skates on his feet.  Not even Iron Man looks cool when roller skates are involved, although he totally has them.   The Spinner is looking more and more badass by the minute in comparison.


Okay, Robin, but why?  Why did you hop on that old-timey bicycle to confront armed criminals?  That is one of the least-maneuverable conveyances ever constructed, and you're perched right on top of it.

And then this happened:


Yes, Batman and Robin were held at bay by a pinwheel.

And it got worse:


As mind boggling as it is, note that Batman and Robin were defeated and captured at one point in their careers by....

by....

Jeez Louise, I don't think this guy even had a super villain name!

Enough of this.  It's making me sad.  See you tomorrow!

6 comments:

flex lamont said...

that is the BEST batman story ever.

Adam Barnett said...

For blogging purposes, it was a dream :-)

BatmanArchives said...

My sides: GONE.
You're Hysterical. Keep on keeping on sir.

Peter Gray said...

Wheelly good!!

Gene Phillips said...

I hadn't read this one for a long time, so I dragged it out. I thought I remembered that the villain called himself "the Wheel," but in truth only the title of the story calls him that. In the story the guy continually rants about his wheel-crimes, but he never decisively says to B & R: "Now, face the circular furies of-- the Wheel!" And the crimefighters didn't bother to give him a nom du crime: they just call him "Foster" all the time. Guess they-- as spokesmen for writer Bill Finger-- knew he wouldn't be coming back.

Finger, whom some might consider comics' inventor of the "pattern-using villain," seems to be having a little fun in really pouring on all the wheel gags. One he claims has "classic irony," of all things.

I still prefer a wheel-based villain over one who bases his schtick on polka dots, though.

Adam Barnett said...

You take that back, Gene! The Polka Dot Man RULED!