So, I'm finishing up the second issue of Spy Smasher, which gives us the introduction to the villainous "America Smasher." I guess you're extra sinister when your name is a play off the name of the guy you're fighting. Anyhoo:
Spy Smasher: Tobacco Stops... with Him.
I was making reference to a recent bout of PSA's that were making the rounds here, and I remembered that most of my dear readers are from all around the globe, so that might not appear to be as funny as it totally is. I was looking for an example of one of those PSA's (because nothing saves a joke like having to explain it) and came upon something even better:
This is possibly the greatest thing I've ever found on the Internet.
But back to the story. Here we see that Spy Smasher's cloak is... bulletproof?
Which would be fine, except it totally isn't. Judging by that angle, he's take a shot to the gut and a shot to the crotch. The story should really end there.
But it must have some significance, because he takes the time to put the cape back on while he's in the midst of fighting armed Nazis in close quarters.
Later, he meets America Smasher for the final showdown. Now, I'm not sure what this machine is supposed to be, but note that our hero is facing it:
Oh, and America Smasher has a steel hand or something. He made a big deal out of it. I couldn't take him seriously because he looked like "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island:
So every time America Smasher talks in this story, I'm hearing it in Herve Villechaize's voice. It's going to take more than a steel hand to overcome that one.
Anyway, despite the positioning of everyone, Spy Smasher is now facing away from the crane:
So, did he turn his back on America Smasher? It seems to me that, as an American, I would be very reluctant to turn my back on someone named "America Smasher."
And how did he get pinched so delicately? It seems like if it moving quickly enough to grab Spy Smasher, it would have popped him like a zit. Did he just stand there and wait? And since this crane doesn't seem to pivot at all, why did he just waltz in front of it knowing that America Smasher had his hands on the device's lever? Should he really be acting so surprised?
I'm probably nitpicking, but it's like they aren't even trying to keep my head from aching.
See you Monday!
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4 comments:
Spidey made one of those "questionable strategic decisions" in a Kingpin story. He took off his shirt and put it on a web-dummy to distract Kingpin's guards, and once they were beaten, he took a moment to re-costume while Kingpin obligingly waited until he was finished (or something like that).
Having watched the credits for the anti-smoking PSA, please tell me that 'Bob Fuhr' was the name of the guy in the bear suit!
If you made it to the credits, you're a better person than I... all I know is, I wanted to START smoking after I saw that PSA!
I remember that Spider-Man story. He and the Kingpin did do some fighting(one kick and one punch)while Spidey was getting dressed.
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