Thursday, March 21, 2013

You'll Say Grape-Nuts Flakes Taste Swell or Volto Will Kill You!


Dear Ones, I am so sorry for leaving you hanging the past few days, but work has been positively bananas lately.  Allow me to make up for it with Volto riding a roller coaster courtesy of All-Flash Quarterly #18:



Nothing makes up for days of neglect like Volto in a roller coaster.  I'm like Ike Turner giving flowers to Tina.


Now, waitaminute.  Am I to understand we have two roller coasters moving forward towards each other?  I don't know any carnies personally, but I'm not even sure how you'd accomplish that.

Time for a demonstration of powers, complete with narrative!



So, he has to say his name to get his powers to work?  Since he uses the same name to activate the powers in both his right and left arms, wouldn't that result in both of them going off at the same time?  And if so, wouldn't he spin like a propeller?  And wouldn't that be the greatest thing to ever hit the printed page if only it were true?

And poor Volto can't even introduce himself.  If he offered up a handshake and said, "Hi, I'm Volto," he'd send you sailing one way or another.

And, of course, we happen to have a box of Grape-Nuts Flakes lying around.  I rarely go to an amusement park without a box myself:



Who is this kid, anyway?  Any why doesn't he always have a box of Grape-Nuts Flakes handy so Volto doesn't have to go around begging strangers for it?



Note that we only said it "MAYBE" won't give you Volto's powers...

Again, I'm sorry for the lag, folks.  See you tomorrow!

4 comments:

Smurfswacker said...

Not Frank Robbins' finest hour, but I imagine he was paid well for these ads. I can't decide whether or not I like Volto...he alternately attracts and repels me.

James Robert Smith said...

I wonder if she gave him more than just Grape Nuts Flakes.

MarvelX42 said...

It was fairly obvious that he was pressing a button or activation pad on his arm with the hand on his other arm to activate his power or some hidden device. Anyways it looks like Space Ghost is a Volto ripoff.

Vince Coleman said...

I thought that the order in which he said his name had something to do with it. First time repels, second time attracts. My first thought was that he would always have to be really aware of what he was doing when fighting crime or adventuring or whatever. It would really suck to think that you were going to repel a pack of flesh eating zombies or explosives or flaming rubble and then wind up sucking it right towards you. Or to try to pull someone up as they fall to their death and then wind up just giving them an extra push downwards...

But that could make for some real awesome comics entertainment if they did it right. Namely, if they did it like I wrote above.