Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Bulletman Fights Who and.... Eh, Nobody Cares

It's for morbid curiosity at this point, but let's keep on plowing through Bulletman with a look at issue #14!

Wait a minute.  A house full of trick gadgets?  Haven't we seen this on the blog?

Oh yes we have.  But to be fair, this story came first by a couple of years.

Anyhoo, there are some fun house-style things that happen as they make their way through the house.  Thusly:

See?  That's typical Bulletgirl.  She puffs up like she's all Betty Badass and then she gets taken out by the slightest thing.

Yeah, "oh glub" yourself.

Anyway, there are various traps as our intrepid heroes make their way through the house.

Some traps are clearly more deadly than others.  I've heard you can drown in only a few inches of water, but I'm pretty sure the surrounding circumstances have to be a lot different.

You know how I've been asking about the whole "bulletproof" situation?  I think we have an answer:

Okay, so the helmet somehow... and we have no explanation how, is what protects him from bullets.  I'm not sure if this applies to.... I don't know, a missile or something shot at them from an anti-aircraft cannon.  Are there rules to this?  Heck if I know.

Oh, and Bulletman was totally faking there.  The helmet deflected the shot.  He was just being Mr. Sly Boots.

And then we see this:

I'm not a big fan of "knock knock" jokes as a general rule, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't a very good one by anyone's definition.

And yes, this was a couple of years after Abbot and Costello came out with "Who's on First?"  But it's Bulletman Comics, so I'm pretty sure they decided a lawsuit just wasn't worth it.

Oh, do shut up, Bulletgirl.

At this point, I'm wondering if I'm reading a story meant for a six year-old.

You know, I just don't find the word play that baffling and/or upsetting.  I mean, it's torture reading this story, but that's not quite the same thing.

Okay, now we're just repeating events and filling in pages.  Either do something different or let's get this story going.  Or just shoot me.  Anything to put an end to this.

Oh, jeez.  It just got even worse.

Okay, we're finished here.  I'm not doing this any more.  It's just starting to make me angry at comic books in general and life is too short.

So, let's check out the back panel:

You know I loves me some Captain Marvel, but this sounds like the most boring game ever.  Once you get the magic word, the game ends?  That's when things are supposed to start getting good.  I'm prepared to guess why this didn't have the lasting power of Monopoly or Clue.

And check this out!:

I'm not used to seeing the Golden Age Captain Marvel with his eyes open, and it's super creepy that the sole purpose of this product is to stare at you wherever you go.  But if anyone has it and can show me a video of it in action, I would squeal with delight.

See you tomorrow!


Wayne Allen Sallee said...

So a few posts ago, Bulletgirl, sans helmet, has hear head go BONG when it hits a wall, not she says "Uggle" when water comes out of a phone?

At this point, I think I'm in love.

Adam Barnett said...

She's a complicated woman, to be sure.

Gummboote said...

"Could his helmet have failed? Will mine?"

Interesting bit of psychological honesty there.

Adam Barnett said...

True that, gummboote. Again, she's a complicated lady, that Bulletgirl.