GLUMPH!

Dear Ones, I'm going to be taking next week off, but never fear, we be back for more time-wastin' goodness on Monday, September 9th!  

One last bit before I depart from Golden Age Green Lantern #9:

It's interesting to see an ad for something that the manufacturer readily admits might not be available.  Of course, the military should have what they need to get the job done... I've just never seen a situation where a manufacturer took out an ad to explain why the product might be hard to find.  That's an interesting period piece.  

Cool beans!  Off to Pep Comics #20:

I would think you'd call up Joe for no other reason than to have him check out that big-ass baby with his own eyes.

I mean... that baby is huge!

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Annnnnnnnnddddd......

Suddenly!

For all I know, those hands belong to that huge infant she was holding.  Never turn your back on an infant.  They'd just as soon kill you as look at you.

"Wang must be in her room right now" could be a euphemism, if the Shield is the jealous type.

And now.... a CMNS Moment of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

This has been a CMNS Moment of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

And taking us out, we have one last Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

Well, every guy knows that!

See you on the 9th!

If You Want Me to Like You, You'll Kill Green Lantern!

When you're reading a series from long ago and there are some inconsistencies with how you know the character to be, you know that the change clearly took place at some point.  For example, we've seen in the first several issues of the Golden Age Green Lantern that Alan's weaknesses were... what we shall charitably describe as "inconsistent from a logistical perspective."  But Golden Age Green Lantern #9 puts a stop to that once and for all:

Got it?  WOODEN gun butts!

Heh... "butts!"

Oh, and here's the first appearance of something rather familiar to those of us who waltzed in during the Silver Age:

Dang straight!

Hold on....

Hold on...

... and there it is.  Suddenly! (tm!)

Doiby fell in love with an evil woman (as if there were any kind of woman but an evil one!) who has evil intentions:

DOIBY!  BROS BEFORE HOS!

(Ho's?  Hoes?  Hos's? Hoses?)

Anyway... just in case you missed it the first time:

That's right!  WOOD IS THE ONLY THING!

And I know you guys are going to fuss if I don't tell you whether Doiby attacked Alan, so...

Doiby, being a taxi driver, probably knows exactly where to go to relieve his girl problems.

Anyway...

And then something else happens...

I'm no physicist, but that's some weird trajectory there.

Anyway, once again, just so we've established this....

Wood is now the problem.  Everyone on board?

And then this happens at the end:

I believe the kids these days would say Doiby was catfished.

Or catfishin'.  Something about catfish.

See you tomorrow!

In Which Adam Learns Something About Comic Strips of Yore

From Action Comics #113, we have a rather surreal moment where the reader is discouraged from reading Superman stories in the future in this.... Superman story:

See??  It isn't just me!  Superham is boring.

My brother, if you think being Superham is boring, try reading Superham.

Anyway, that's the kind of story where I'm surprised no one stopped to say, "You know, we're basically calling our golden goose boring."  I mean, in this story Superham hypnotizes himself to be without powers for 24 hours, which is fine, but what about next issue when he back to his typical overpowered self?  Hmmmm?  Hmmmmmm?

Hey!  It's time for some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!):

Oswald's standards changed with the times, recognizing the quality of employee churned out by the modern public educational system.

Speaking of whippersnappers, I gave myself a little come-uppance.  Check this out:

Okay, fine.  It's an ad.  I can work with an ad.

Famous comic strip people, you say?  I readied my poison pen, as I had never heard of these folks:

So, before I embarrassed myself (or rather, waited for one of you to call me out for being an idiot), I did a little research.

Harold Teen was a comic strip that ran for 40 FREAKIN' YEARS!

Yes.  40.  4-oh.

It had the usual merchandising stuff... toys and pins.

Oh, and not one, but two film adaptations, not to mention a radio show.

I am an idiot.

I cringed as I did a little further research on some other characters from the ad:

Yup.  I'm an even bigger idiot here.  The Gumps ran for 42 years.  It was also the first comic strip to kill off a major character.  Sadly, the creator of the series died on the way home from signing a contract that made him very wealthy about halfway through the strip's run.  Films, radio... there's a statute in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin of Andy Gump, for crying out loud!

I kind of gave up on the comic strip page many years ago.  I thought that I had seen the golden age of comic strips, having spent my formative years with Bloom County, FoxTrot and Calvin and Hobbes.  And those were amazing strips.  But 40-plus years?  Folks, I am humbled.

Real funnypaper folks, indeed!

See you tomorrow!

Strudel Crumbs, My Boy... STRUDEL CRUMBS!

So, having really enjoyed the first story as I discussed yesterday, I continue my look at Spy Smasher #10.  And I remind myself once again why I am able to do this blog.

'frinstance:

Not quite the same as trying to kill Hitler, but maybe if...

Okay, that's not what really happened. But isn't it awesome that one can Google "Japanese Beatles" and come up with a photo?

And issue 10 limps to a close, going from a thought-provoking tale of killing a mass-murderer to:

... a man who loves strudel to a fault.

Blarg.  Let's finish today with some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)  from America's Best Comics #13!:

The Black Terror was very aggressive when it came to soliciting...

See you tomorrow!

In Which Adam is Pleasantly Surprised by Accidentally Discovering Something Thought-Provoking

Because I'm all heart, I'm the first to say when those who create our treasured comics do something amazing.  It's the least I could do, as I'm always waiting in the wings to poke fun when they don't quite hit it out of the park.

Such is the case with Spy Smasher #10:

In the lead story, he decides to head straight over to Germany and do the world a favor and take Hitler out once and for all:

This was not some dream or imaginary story, as was often done when other comic characters were depicted smacking Hitler on behalf of several grateful nations.   It's also worth noting that comic book characters were often written out of getting involved directly with the battles on the front lines.  Heck, the Golden Age Green Lantern was only in the military for about half a dozen issues or so before he was honorably discharged.  So, it's kind of refreshing to see a writer unafraid to go for broke on this very volatile topic.

And not only did Smash go to Germany, he...

well, he did this:

That, my friends, is dang impressive.

And Smash gets caught right away, but he has the same reaction anyone would have had at the time:

But, as awesome as comics are, you can't rewrite current events:

Yeah, I know.  We knew something like that was coming, but it's still a bringdown.

Here's where it gets really interesting in a What If Spy Smasher (or Anyone Else) Killed Hitler? sense..

I admit, I had never thought of that possibility.  Then again, remember what got the United States into the war?  This wouldn't be much different in terms of giving people a cause than Pearl Harbor.

So, Smash learned something and, seventy years later, gave me something to think about:

Yup.  Smash thought it was best for Hitler to stay alive until Germany fell... keeping him alive and wearing down Germany made more sense in the long run than the immediate gratification of seeing Hitler get a fraction of what he deserved.

And that, my friends, makes this issue a CMNS Buried Treasure! (tm!)

It's Boo'ful, Mommy!

Let's ease ourselves into the weekend with a little silliness from Spy Smasher #9:

Spy Smasher's medical career was cut short due to his unyielding insistence on treating injuries with more severe injuries...

A little slice of Heaven from Golden Age Green Lantern #8:

Another satisfied Zillow.com customer...

Hey!  It's another ad from Phantom Lady #23!

Biggest variety of uses of anything I've ever owned?  That's a pretty bold claim.  I have a jug of vinegar that has a lot of uses.  Don't believe me?  'Chere.

I'm pretty sure they had umbrellas back then.  I'm not even going to Google it.  That's how certain I am.

Well, okay.... it keeps the rain off.  What other variety of uses does it have?

Okay, sitting in a canoe covered by this thing really isn't a different use of the product.  I don't know what you're trying to pull here.  And I'm sure the guy rowing in the rain appreciates how much fun your inconsiderate self is having.

Would it give you one less thing to complain about, Eunice?  Because if so, it's a bargain at twice the price!

I don't know about this particular claim.  If those are regular adult hands, you'd have to have a really deep pocket.

That made me think of when I was a tyke and my elementary school had an annual carnival.  I spent all my tickets at the "general store" buying comic books that people had donated.  Anyway, there was always a grown up they dressed in a clown costume with these really huge pants pockets and called him "Pockets the Clown" or something like that.  The gist was, you gave him a ticket (tickets cost a dime, I think) and you'd reach in his pocket and pull out some cheap plastic trinket or toy.

Just in case you missed it: Children were reaching in the pants pocket of a full grown man and paying him for the privilege.

No arrests were made of which I'm aware, but I would be floored if that sort of thing took place in this day and age.  Ah, the innocence of youth.

See you Monday! 

Not A Dream! Not a Hoax! Someone DIES!

Had an interesting situation come up:  I didn't have access to Pep Comics #17, so I used the image at comics.org as I often do because this was the first appearance of the Hangman character and I wanted to at least see what the issue looked like.

Well, imagine my surprise when I open up Pep #19 and learn that I had missed the final fate of the Comet!

I begged and cashed in some favors to get some images.  Sorry they're in black and white, but think of them as being all tragic and Sin City-esque.

Why is it that I all the holes in my collection are when something huge like that happens?  Am I right?  Am I right?

Anyway, we segue right into the origin of the Hangman:

Criminals are a suspicious, cowardly lot... I mean, criminals are all cowards!  I am not a Batman rip-off in any way, shape or form!

All kinds of scary... except the "gallows" are those that come about by the legal system after he catches them.  He doesn't actually throw a noose over a tree limb and save the taxpayers a lengthy trial and appeals process.

Two issues later, readers got a direct response for the change:

Of course, the Comet killed the officer while he was under the hypnotic control of Doc Zader so he really didn't have any retribution coming to him, neither legally nor morally, but the Shield isn't exactly Matt Murdock in any sense of the word.  Basically, the Comet is dead, kids.  Get over it.

Until the character was revived 25 years later, and then again in the Impact comic line back in the 1990s.

So... dare we say that the Comet is only visible about every 20 years?

Get it?  A little Astronomy humor there.  No extra charge.

See you tomorrow!